Discovering Your Way: Resolving the Struggle Within

I can relentlessly hold a vision of your brilliance until you are living your brilliance.  I will create space that naturally brings out more of you.  Yet I sometimes get really upset with myself for not getting more stuff done.  I beat myself up with thoughts like, “Yes, it’s great that you’re helping people be more fully themselves, but can’t you also get the insurance thing handled or get your files in order, too?”

The irony: I know better. 

Bringing out the “best” in a person involves:

–  allowing all parts of that person (Starting with me!)
–  supporting each person in using their strengths more
   and working interdependently with others for the rest.

What does that look like in real life?

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As we accept all parts of ourselves, live from our strengths
and engage interdependently with others in areas that are
not our strengths, we then begin to resolve our struggle within.

I’m practicing making peace with the parts of me that I judge, don’t like and think shouldn’t exist.  It’s a practice because it isn’t yet natural or consistent  So, when I notice I haven’t gotten to the insurance thing, I take a deep breath, smile for myself and accept what is.

Then, I call my amazingly capable insurance broker.  Yes, years ago, I was willing to get a broker to handle 95% of the insurance thing because I’m not good at it. I have more time to draw out my genius and your genius while Barbara, my insurance broker takes care of the details of my insurance – glorious interdependence.

What does internal resolution look like for you?  What parts of you do you still think “should” be different?  In what areas of your life do you need more collaboration, more interdependence?

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Would you love to work better with your team?
Or your family?

Call me to talk about using the StrengthsFinder™ assessment to deepen understanding and acceptance of yourself and your team or family. My direct office line: 303.399.8737.

Feel free to post your comments, insights and experiences below.

If this G Note fits someone you love whom you suspect would love some internal resolution, please share!

Clear Intention: Will You Get Messy?

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr

Martin Luther King, Jr would have been 85 today.

I love celebrating him.  I am reminded of the progress we’ve made and how far we still must go.

I am reminded to ask myself how messy I am willing to get to consistently stand for what I believe in.

Martin Luther King Jr.Memorial in City Park

MLK Memorial in City Park.  Denver, Colorado.
Fog in Denver is quite rare.  Yet it’s so fitting for Martin Luther King Jr as he talked about taking just the step in front of you if that is all you can see.  He lived and died in a time of severe fogginess.  We honor him today for the compassionate and adamant clarity he brought to an issue that to this day requires more light and clarity.

How willing am I to look at my own actions that still come from bias, prejudice or fear?  How willing am I to change those actions however imperfectly?  How willing am I to admit how far I have to go?

What about you?  Are you willing to join me in the messiness?

What are you willing to take a stand for, however imperfectly?

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Would you be interested in joining a small group of women in an intimate teleconference setting (or in person if you’re in the Denver metro area) to explore freedom from whatever has been holding you hostage?

I’m considering starting one or both of these groups if there is enough interest. Reply to this email and tell me a bit about your story, your journey, or feel free to call me. My direct office line: 303.399.8737.

Feel free to post your comments, insights and experiences below.

If this G Note fits someone you love whom you suspect is willing to get messy, please share!

Find Your Strongest Life: Being Fully Present with Discomfort Could Bring Sweet Freedom?

I was born the oldest of five kids to a mother who didn’t really want kids.  Yet she didn’t feel she had a choice.

Growing up, I wanted to be wanted.  I had several girlfriends whose mothers were engaged with and interested in their daughters and sometimes me by extension.  That felt great.  I babysat for several families and a couple of the moms got to know me.  That felt good.

When I started high school, boys started to notice me, and I felt like I had hit the jackpot.  I knew it!  Being wanted was the best feeling in the world!

I didn’t realize it back then, but in that innocent and natural desire, I was creating a prison.  Being wanted became my drug.  I was high when I felt wanted and desperately looking for the next fix when I didn’t feel wanted.  Chasing the feeling that came with being wanted held me hostage for decades.

Maybe you’ve had a similar experience?  Or have you been chasing degrees?  Being needed?  Fitting in? More money? A certain number on the scale?  You fill in the blank.  What have you been chasing that has held you hostage?

I finally hit bottom, as they say in AA.  Willing to never have another man want me.

I’ve been learning that sitting with the pain and discomfort of not feeling wanted AND not doing anything to get my fix is my road to freedom.

I discovered a few months ago while doing some deep work with my coach that my WHY, my purpose, involves inspiring and urging each of us to freedom from innocently self-imposed prisons.  I wish I had known this me 30 years ago.  And, I feel grateful to know her today!

jumping girl

I am starting to get  it  – experiencing the inner freedom that comes from being with things as they are rather than how I think they must be, how I think I need them to be . . . ahhhhh.

I also realize that the experiences of the young-girl and young-woman me are as much a part of my path and my purpose as the healing of those experiences.

I am now discovering that beyond the pain of wanting to feel wanted is a delicious, sweet freedom.  I’m beginning to have glimpses of wanting the freedom more that the temporary high of feeling wanted.

And, lest I start chasing freedom, during the times I don’t feel free, I simply allow myself to be present with me there, too.

I dedicate my 2014 to Freedom.

What about you?  To what do you dedicate your 2014?

Happy New Year!  Happy New You!

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Would you be interested in joining a small group of women in an intimate teleconference setting (or in person if you’re in the Denver metro area) to explore freedom from whatever has been holding you hostage?

I’m considering starting one or both of these groups if there is enough interest. Reply to this email and tell me a bit about your story, your journey, or feel free to call me.  My direct office line: 303.399.8737.

Feel free to post your comments, insights and experiences below.

If this fits someone you love who has been holding themselves hostage and might be ready for sweet freedom, please share!