Being Present

How You Think about Life Actually Becomes Your Life

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Awhile back, as I was working with a client around the growing pains of her business, she noticed that she’d come to accept that there wasn’t any time for her personal life. Because that was her thinking, her life had become putting out one fire after another.

This alerted me to look more closely at my own thinking. For most of the past year, I’ve been telling myself that “the world” is too much for me. As a sensitive empath, it’s challenging for me to feel all the chaos. My solution had been isolating myself from the world more and more.

Recently, I realized I could shift my thinking to something more life-affirming.

I have this wonderful job in which I get to support people in proactively creating their lives and their work. My clients are willing to look within themselves and courageously create what’s important to them. It’s such a privilege to facilitate their transformations.

While I still don’t get out into the world much, I do feel better about my life because I’m thinking about how I AM contributing rather than what drains me. I’ve also given myself permission to spend more time alone in nature, reminding myself, yet again, that it restores me. I don’t need to judge it.

How You Think about Life Actually Becomes Your Life
When I think about this land and this rainbow as benevolent friends,
I feel happier and more accepting of my life as it is.

So, what about you? What have you been thinking about? What do you notice about how that has become your life?

Post your comments, experiences and insights below…

You Are Beautiful

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When was the last time you told yourself you’re beautiful? When was the last time your bank teller told you? That was definitely a first for me last week.

I went into a branch of my bank that I’d never been in before.

As I was handing her my paperwork, I notice this small sign facing me on her computer machine.

You Are Beautiful

“You are beautiful.”

We had a delightful conversation about her sign, and I left the bank feeling beautiful. I also felt more connected to the human race because I often forget to see the beauty of each person.

I couldn’t help wondering how the world would shift if we all had uplifting signs at our work stations to remind us and our visitors …

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below …

What If You Didn’t Hate to Sell?

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Right now, several of my clients are looking at how to sign up more clients.  They all feel challenged because they either hate to sell, wish they didn’t have to sell or both.  Maybe you can relate?

So, we’re looking at their love of deep meaningful conversation.  We’re coaching around how they love to know what’s really going on for potential clients.  We’re diving deep into how those people’s lives and businesses would change, even transform, if they hired my client.

So what about you?  If you reconsidered selling as a deep, meaningful conversation, what might shift for you?  If you realized that finding out what’s really going on for someone might be an opportunity to offer your help, how would that feel to you?

What If You Didn’t Hate to Sell?

Photo credit: Harli Marten on Unsplash.com

If you had these wonderful conversations with your whole focus on the other person and her world, might that help take your self-conscious focus off your feelings about “selling”?

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below . . .

How to Love Putting Yourself Out There Even If You’ve Hated It Before

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Most coaches, solopreneurs, entrepreneurs and small business owners hate marketing and sales. And, it doesn’t take long for them to no longer be in business.

The ones who stick with it and grow a thriving business realize that great marketing and sales isn’t about them, their company or their service. The same is true for you. Your super effective marketing and sales is not about you. Let me repeat that: it’s not about you.

When all of your marketing, sales and conversations with potential clients focuses on them – the potential clients – you may just find yourself having a great time.

Why did you start your business in the first place? What do you want, really want, for your clients? Why do they want what you have to offer? How does your service or product make their life better? Way better?

How to Love Putting Yourself Out There Even If You've Hated It Before

If you notice you’re talking about yourself, your training, your awards, your invention, your process, your program, your cool product or your excellent price point, stop yourself mid-sentence. Apologize. Then start over and ask them about their problem, needs, hopes and desires.

After you’ve had all potential client conversations that way for awhile, then let me know how you feel about marketing and sales . . .

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below …

What Happens If You Allow Your WHYs to Guide You?

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One of my clients recently became completely overwhelmed studying for an exam for a professional certification. To support her in being present with her studying, I asked her why it’s important for her to pass this exam.

Over the phone, I heard her lighten up as she answered, “I get to help my clients in a new way and I’ll make more money with this added service.” “Why is it important to make more money?” “Because when we start a family in a couple of years, if I make more money now, I can work less then.”

“So, as you’re studying and you notice you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, can you take a deep breath, remember why you’re doing this and then get back to it?” She laughed. “Of course. I feel better already.”

For me, most years at this time of year, I have to firmly remind myself why I’m going to focus on activities I love in the summer. There aren’t many of them because summer is my least favorite season. Tomorrow when I’m enjoying dinner on a restaurant patio with a friend to celebrate her birthday, I will remember I eat lots of summer meals on the patio because I am unwilling to be miserable for 25% of each year!

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My 16-year-old niece, Hailey, and I enjoying our latte and white mocha on the patio of my favorite San Diego coffee shop, 99 Cups in Pacific Beach. YAY patios!!!

So what about you? What’s challenging you right now? What is your WHY? Does that help you move forward in a way that feels better to you? Post your experiences below . . .

What is the Value of Detachment?

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Recently I realized I wanted to be more aware and mindful of detaching. In pondering what might support me in this process, I came up with a few core ideas, reminders.

In case they’re helpful to you, here they are!

I am beginning to recognize that detaching sets me free to love fully, unconditionally and without reservation.

What is the Value of Detachment?

My energy is open, moving and available and at the same time, still, spacious and deeply loving.

I allow EVERYTHING to pass through.

Nothing can stick to me unless I stick to it.

I am right here, right now, loving fully without needing things to be a certain way.

So what about you? What do you notice about yourself and attachment, detachment? Post your experiences below . . .

The Counterintuitive Way to Be with Panic Rising

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Panic Rising

Feeling this sensation
Inside me
that I tend to call
Panic.

Noticing.
Breathing.
Feeling urgency
and refraining from
Thinking.
Labeling.
Judging.

Instead.
Being.
Being with the
Sensation
Inside of me.

Ah,
False alarm.
Nothing to do.

Simply a
Call.
To be.

Be with myself.
Allowing the rising.

Noticing rising
Is always followed
by subsiding.

The Counterintuitive Way to Be with Panic Rising

Rising.
Subsiding.

Rising.
Subsiding.

Surrendering.
Accepting.
Breathing.

Feeling this sensation
Inside me
that I tend to call
Bliss.

Noticing.
Breathing.
Feeling attachment
and refraining from
Thinking.
Labeling.
Judging.

Being.
Being with the
Sensation
Inside of me.

Ah,
False alarm.
Nothing to do.

Simply a
Call
To be.

Be with myself.
Allowing the rising.

Noticing rising
Is always followed
by subsiding.

Rising.
Subsiding.

Rising.
Subsiding.

Surrendering.
Accepting.
Breathing.

Learning to love.

The rising.
The subsiding.

What Happens When I’m Willing to Release Control?

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When I first moved back to New Mexico two and a half years ago, I created a wonderful, ever-changing art project for myself. I filled a white, ceramic, shallow, baking bowl with fine black sand and created a new Zen “rock garden” daily, or as inspired.

On my daily walks, I would notice which small rocks wanted to come home with me to play in the rock garden. I loved collecting various sizes, shapes, colors and textures. The interplay between matte finishes and shimmery finishes delighted me.

I put all possible rock players in a basket in a drawer beneath my butcher block counter top. Whenever I felt like it, usually while waiting for my coffee to brew, I would take the current rocks out of the garden and arrange new ones. Sometimes the basket got too full to close the draw and then some of the rocks would go back outside.

I loved the ever-changing parade of rocks in the consistent, stable environment of the white bowl with the black sand. One of the best parts of the ritual involved picking my “favorite” rocks to play with on any particular day.

What Happens When I’m Willing to Release Control?

What Happens When I’m Willing to Release Control?

What Happens When I’m Willing to Release Control?

After a few months, the same rock garden would stay in place for weeks or months. One day last summer, the wind kicked up through the open widow behind the rock garden and, in a moment, black sand was all over the kitchen. After I had cleaned up everything, I put the bowl and what was left of the sand into a cupboard.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, when I felt inspired to put the rock garden back in service. Once again, I was enjoying the ever-changing art. Then, spontaneously, a few days ago, I decided to change it up. I had pulled the rocks out of the sand and was beginning to choose the next rocks to play.

Then I had the thought, “why don’t I pick the rocks that want to play without looking at them?” So I did. When I looked at the rocks I had picked without looking at them, I felt disappointed. I wondered, “How could I make any beauty with these rocks?”

Boy, was I wrong. I placed the rocks and THERE it was: Beauty where I thought there wasn’t any!!! Turns out that when I allow and receive, it works out as well or better than when I choose “my favorites.”

For fun, I’ve included photos of three different rock gardens. Which one of them do you think has the “random” rocks rather than the “chosen” rocks?

So what about you? What might be the value for you in releasing control in a particular area of your life right now?

3 Quick, Awesome Ways to Dissolve Stress

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Come to Mama
When was the last time you laid on the ground? If you have to think about it, stop reading now, run outside and plop yourself down. Lay there and take in the support of Mother Earth holding you and the expansive infinity of the sky calling you. If your neighbors ask, “Are you alright?,” invite them to join you.

Play Hard
Grab some kids, a dog or your lover and get down to some old-fashion play. Tag, wrestling, throwing a ball . . . Bonus points for doing it outside.

Shake Your Booty
Get all that tension out of your body. Now. If you need a guide, let Rochelle Schieck, founder of Qoya, support you in completely shifting in less than 4 minutes.

Those are my ideas for today. What about you? What are 3 of your favorite ways to dissolve stress? Let’s get a great big, juicy list going . . .

What If We Could Actually Create a New Reality?

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A Course of Love tells us that we’ve been creating in response to “reality.” It goes on to tell us that we are now called to create reality – a new reality.

As we here in the United States are about to swear in a new president, it can easily look like we must create something in response to this “reality.” As I look down that road, that looks like fighting, division and righteousness – at best.

What If We Could Actually Create a New Reality?

The road that got us here probably isn’t going to take us where we’d like to go . . .

Which makes me super curious what it means to create a new reality. What if I could create a new reality, not in response to what seems to be “reality?” What if you could? What if we could? What could we do together?!?

I don’t know the answers yet. And, instinctively, it does feel like the right question.

What’s your sense? What’s on your heart and in your mind? I’d love your comments and insights below.