Creating Your Strong Life

Applauding “Find Your Strongest Life”

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I am so excited about Marcus Buckingham’s newest book and assessment, “Find Your Strongest Life: What the happiest and most successful women do differently.”  As one of the developers of the StrengthsFinder™ assessment, Buckingham has devoted his life to “. . . helping each person identify her strengths, take them seriously, and offer them to the world.” (Marcus Buckingham, “Find Your Strongest Life”)

I can’t wait to share this with you because I’ve devoted my life to helping people more consistently live and work from their best.  A huge part of living and working from our best involves living and working from our strengths: those natural abilities that, when we engage in them, strengthen us!

As an avid fan of StrengthsFinder™ for many years, I am now over the moon about the “Find Your Strongest Life” assessment and book.  In this newest body of work, Buckingham gives us the opportunity to discover the role we were born to play.

The “Find Your Strongest Life” assessment revealed my lead role as teacher (my best quality: my faith in others’ potential) and supporting role as advisor (my best quality: my ability to find a solution).  So confirming and affirming for my role as a life and business coach!  I strongly urge you to take the free “Find Your Strongest Life” assessment to discover your natural roles.

If you haven’t already taken the StrengthsFinder™ assessment to learn your top five natural strengths, I strongly encourage you to do that as well.  No other body of work has so clearly directed my own happiness and fulfillment!

After you’ve taken both the “Find Your Strongest Life” and StrengthsFinder™ assessments and read the books, if you would like one-on-one support with orienting your life and work around your StrengthsFinder™ strengths and your “Find Your Strongest Life” roles, I would be honored to support you in that hugely meaningful process . . . 

Self improvement: Releasing the need to control

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The more Joyce let go of trying to make her ex-husband do what she wanted him to do, the more peaceful she felt.  And, as a surprising bonus, they could more easily agree on arrangements for their children that worked for both of them.  Joyce saw clearly that she actually received more of what she wanted by letting go rather than threatening, manipulating and demanding.

I, too, have learned over and over again that trying to make my sisters, my neighbors or my business colleagues do things my way just doesn’t work.  And, in the moment, it infuriates me that I do not get to be in charge!  Often, when I have surrendered from exhaustion, I have felt amazed at how well things work out without my orchestrating every little detail to my exact specifications.

I feel an actual release in my body.  Trying to control others or circumstances use a lot of my precious energy that I could instead be using to enjoy or create.

Letting go opens up delicious space in our lives.  As we trust Universal Power to bring together people and circumstances, we become more available to the wonder of the present.  Ah, one of the joys of self improvement . . .  

I encourage you to try it in this very moment.  What could you release into the Life Flow right now?

Self-improvement: Living your best life

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For each of us, there is a life that is uniquely and simply ours.  A life that comes from our specific soul: from our strengths, values and passions.

Yet, like a fish who doesn’t recognize how special and important water is for him, we humans often have blind spots about our own natural greatness.  

Someone compliments you on how empathic you were with the clerk at the grocery and you don’t quite understand.  Doesn’t everyone notice what’s going on with others?  No, we sure don’t!  Then you tell a friend how great it is that he always seems to know the most efficient way to organize a project and he doesn’t know what’s the big deal!

If you feel you are living anything less than the life that is totally, joyfully yours, take some time over the next few days to notice your specific strengths, values and passions.  What do you love to do?  What comes naturally to you?

Ask a few friends or colleagues what they notice you doing naturally or with enthusiasm.  What do people often turn to you for?  Advice?  In what area?  Help with fixing something?  What?  Getting something started? What?

Just by focusing on this for a few days, you will be living a life that is more fully, uniquely yours!

I’d love to hear what kinds of things you discover about yourself and your best life . . .

Self-improvement: Knowing my security from the inside

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Every day for the past several days, I have been noticing anything I feel scared or anxious about and transforming it.  Working with the simple yet powerful concept that I already have everything I need inside me, I notice what’s causing the fear or anxiety and then find a way to know it from the inside rather than expect it from the outside.

I’d love to share a bit of my process so that you can use this transformation tool, too.

For example, in my business, I got scared and anxious when I felt enough money wasn’t coming in.  So, I asked myself:  why do I want the money?  What do I believe the money will give me?  I want the money to pay my bills.  I believe the money will give me security.  Okay, how can I feel, how can I be security right now?  

I don’t have to wait long for the intuitive answer to come to my conscious awareness.  Spending a few minutes laying on the ground, under a tree, being with the sky though the leaves of that tree helps me instantly feel plugged into All That Is and I feel secure.  Wow.  Easy.  Doable.  Highly effective.  Sure beats the alternative of panicking!

An example from my personal life:  I felt sad and scared when it seemed that a friend was “abandoning” me in a moment in favor of another friend.  Okay, why do I want my friend to “choose me?”  What do I believe me being chosen will give me?  I want to be chosen to demonstrate I’m valuable.  When I’m chosen, I feel important.  I feel I matter to that person.  Okay, how can I feel valuable, important and that I matter right now?

A couple of answers come to mind.  I have taken the time to put the focus on me and what’s going on with me.  I am valuing myself, prioritizing myself and indicating to myself that I matter to me!  And, I have many friends.  If I would like to spend time with a friend, I can value that experience for me and reach out to another friend.  Wow.  I know I matter and I feel valuable and important.

My whole life becomes better in two ways when I transform these “yucky” feelings.  First, I get to feel and be what I desire – secure and valuable, no matter what’s going on or what others around me do or don’t do.  Secondly, I am now in the energy of “security” and “valuable,” so I naturally attract more experiences of security and valuable, including more money flowing in and more friends who treat me like I am important to them!

I am so jazzed about this transformation process right now, I am considering teaching a 3-week, 1-hour each week tele-class for $89.

I would love your input.  

What about this tele-class might interest you?  If you took it, what would you most love to take away from it at the end of the 3 weeks?

Please take a moment to comment and give me the thoughts off the top of your head.  Thanks in advance!

Self improvement: We are what we make ourselves

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I just got back from the Career Management Alliance annual conference in San Antonio where I gave a presentation: Strong You, Strong Biz: YOU Are Your Most Powerful Business Attractor. I feel humbled and grateful.

Back in the fall when I agreed to this engagement, I felt excited. Excited to connect with my people – other self-employed coaches, in their cases, specifically career coaches. Excited to embark on a new adventure with my new business partner at the time – she would man the expo booth and I would give the talk and we’d both have a great time doing it.

Fast forward a few months to the day when I learn that the majority of the conference attendees aren’t self-employed and are in fact in the military helping military folks transition to civilian life and jobs. And to the day when my new business partner can suddenly no longer be my business partner for several personal reasons.

Then I start dreading the conference. What do I know to help these military folks? How am I suppose to do it all myself? The conference organizer reassures me that plenty self-employed coaches will come to my talk. I don’t have to re-structure it for the military. My sister offers me some tips on giving my talk and man-ing the booth myself.

Yet, I still have a bad attitude.

Just a few days before the conference, I wake up and realize, just like I wrote on a plaque I gave my grandma when I was 15, that “we are what we make ourselves.” In good coach-like style, I remake myself.

I embody my talk. I can feel in my bones how good it is. As I prepare all the expo materials, I feel grateful for the opportunity to serve in this way. I see the entire trip flowing smoothly, from the moment the shuttle drives picks me up from my front porch to the time another one drops me back on my porch two and a half days later. I set an intention to have a good time, give all I am there to give and connect with wonderful people. I set an income goal for all the new business that will come from this event.

And guess what happened!

It went exactly like my intention, only one better. Many people from the military came to my talk, too. And they got huge value, slightly different value than the self-employed folks, but great value, just the same. Two military ladies even told me I was “under-selling” myself to just offer my services to self-employed professionals, because they saw how I can help them, too. So we are going to talk . . . I see that income goal being met and then some!

And, the shuttle driver on the way home even dropped me off at my house first!

 

Positive mental attitude: presence or absence?

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While listening to my daily dose of Michael Beckwith earlier, I realized, once again, that my positive mental attitude is a choice.  Maybe not always an easy choice, yet and still: a choice.

In this moment when I think I have too much to do, do I chose the presence or absence of a positive mental attitude? 

Do I choose to be present with myself, these ideas I’m sharing with you, the sun streaming into my office and my fingers on the keyboard? Or, do I choose to be absent from this glorious moment, lost inside a swirl of habitual thoughts and familiar anxiety? 

Do I choose the positive mental attitude that all is well when I am present or do I choose to be absent and feel lost?

What about you?

Are you willing to give yourself the precious gift of your positive mental attitude in this present moment?

You say you want to, but you can’t right now because you don’t have enough money?  Or enough health?  Or enough time? 

Or, you’ll have a positive mental attitude after you lose some weight?  Or get a new client?  Or a new lover? 

Okay, I hear you. 

And, in the meantime, would you be willing to give yourself one precious minute right now? 

Would you be willing to take a great big, deep breath right into the full presence of your positive mental attitude?  Would you be willing to be with you for this moment?  Would you be willing to notice that, indeed, all is well right now?  Would you be willing to feel the unseen support that holds you in this moment?

Excellent! 

And guess what?!  In that one minute, you achieved at least two of your goals – you lightened up and received the new lover that is you!

I’d love to hear about any other goals you achieved . . . 

My on-going spiritual coach training: the antidote to fear

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Recently a client asked me, “what is the opposite of fear?”  I used to think it was love.  While I still believe that’s part of the answer, the meaty answer that gives us something to work with is: trust.

Let’s try it on.

If I fear my neighbor is going to make my life miserable, I’m not trusting myself to handle the situation.  If I trust I can resolve an issue with him, let go of the issue or even move to a better place for me, then I have nothing to fear.

If I fear the Earth is getting too hot, and I hate heat and I have no where to go, then I don’t trust that God never gives me more than I can handle or my ability to keep myself cool or acclimate to heat.

If I fear I won’t have enough clients next month or next year, I have the opportunity to trust my ability to attract clients, to reach out to new potential clients and to serve from my heart.  I also need to trust that regardless of how many clients I have at any given moment, I am creative, resourceful and whole and I have an entire Universe on my side conspiring for my good!

If I fear my memory isn’t good enough to keep track of all that’s important, I’m not trusting the inherent messiness of life.  I have the opportunity to trust I’ll remember what I need or have a way to retrieve something when I need it.  

If I fear I won’t ever meet my beloved sweetheart / life partner, I have the opportunity to trust myself to first be in great relationship with myself and my friends and loved ones.  Then, I have the opportunity to follow my intuition about inspired action as to when or where I might meet him. And, I get to trust the process and God in the process.

I realize that in every one of these situations, I have many “opportunities” to trust.  Because of my life-long commitment to my own spiritual growth and spiritual coach training, I’m going to take on these opportunities as sacred callings.  It’s too easy to let opportunities slip by.  Of course, my life becomes so much richer and more fulfilling the more I answer a sacred calling, yet sometimes it seems easier not to answer.  Today, I commit/recommit to answering! 

What about you?  Where in your own life is trust the antidote to fear?  I’d love to hear from you.