Giving and Receiving

How Do We Stop Election Fear from Within?

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One of my mentors, Dicken Bettinger, posted thoughts on Facebook worth repeating here today.

“The real question is not what will happen as a result of this election.

Politicians do not determine the overall level of well-being of those who live in their country.

To me, the real questions are:

  • Can we look within and set aside our judgmental thoughts of others?
  • Can we find love and understanding in our hearts?
  • Can we bring these feelings to each other, especially those who disagree with us?
  • Can we find tolerance deep in our souls, especially for those who see life differently than we do?
  • Can we find within us the spirit of cooperation that is based on tolerance and respect so that we can truly work together to create a society that is looking out for what is best for the whole rather than just our own self-interests?

How Do We Stop Election Fear from Within?

The problems of the world ultimately will not be resolved on a political level. The problems of the world will ultimately be resolved only by each of us bringing more love and understanding into the world.

May we all get better at listening for, and to, the inner wisdom that continues to guide us toward a more peaceful and loving world community.”

– Dicken Bettinger, originally published on Facebook

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

Where Is the Sweet Spot for Growing Your Business?

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Last week I attended an “Intentional Connections For Business” in Albuquerque with two of my friends who are also coaches. When we left the event, I realized that the focus had been deeper conversations, which had been wonderful.

What was missing was an easy way to stay connected and further the conversation. The event had been billed as the opposite of typical networking. To make sure we understood, the flyer included a graphic of a business card with a red circle with a slash through it to communicate “business card–free zone.”

While I understood the intent, I knew it had gone too far to the other extreme when I saw my friend, Karin, writing people’s contact info on the edge of a handout. I took a different approach and didn’t exchange info with anyone because I thought we weren’t “suppose to.” Despite it being a no card exchange place, I did manage to get the name of Catdi Printing which is a business card printing company from one of the businesses. If you are not into the idea how about Metal Business Kards where you can exchange high-quality handouts with the information about you and your business. 

As we drove home that evening, we all three realized we’d received value from the deeper connection and mindful structure of the event and felt stifled by the artificial boundary around networking and business cards. 

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I find the sweet spot in growing my business often tends to be the beautiful mix of two extremes.

We want to do business in an authentic way with people who have similar values and we want it to be easy and natural to continue the conversation. That lead to a rich conversation among the three of us about how we could each grow our businesses in a heartfelt and effective way. We spoke about many companies which inadvertently led me to mention this https://www.linkedin.com/company/gds-group Linkedin profile of the company which I’d hired to do all my marketing.

For me the sweet spot involves sharing and serving freely, generously having conversations to see if coaching with me is a great fit and directly asking for the business if it is.

What about you? What specifics create your sweet spot?
If you haven’t thought about it like this, what might help you gain clarity?

I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming stress and overwhelm into clarity and purpose“)

How Have I Loved and What Have I Shared Today?

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Recently while working with a coaching client, he described his behavior in a particular situation and then asked me, “Is that normal?” What he really wanted to know, what we all want to know, “Am I okay? Compared to everyone else, do I fit in? Am I doing it right? Do I have value?”

While the questions are common, no answers will serve us. If the answers are primarily “no,” then we are “wrong.” If they’re primarily “yes,” we won’t believe them or we’ll believe them temporarily until the next time we feel compelled to ask for affirmation yet again.

Looking for external validation will never get us to where we want to go. As we come to accept, embrace and know our unique and perfectly imperfect humanness AND our Oneness in our Divinity, we will no longer seek approval or validation.

What is “normal” in my unique human expression looks nothing like what is “normal” in yours. You and I can be experiencing the exact same event, conversation or circumstance and we still have two separate realities based on our own perceptions and thoughts.

Then, when any of us experience something through our Divinity, the question of “normal” doesn’t even exist.

How Have I Loved Today

So, what might we ask ourselves instead? Right now, I’m asking myself, “How have I loved and what have I shared today?”

What about you? What’s meaningful for you to ask yourself?

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

How Might Both/And Encourage a Rich Life?

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“No wholeness will be possible for you while you compartmentalize your life into designated pieces giving yourself time for work and time for leisure and seeing them not as the same thing. Life is life. Life is. As love is.

Life is service to God. God is service to life. You are God in life. Thus you are both life and service to life, both God and service to God. All of the vast universe was created the same: to live and to serve life, to be of God and be of service to God. To be served and to serve. To be provided for and to provide. To have needs met and to meet needs. This circular nature of the universe leaves no one unattended.”

~ Mari Perron, First Receiver
    A Course of Love

One of my favorite coaching distinctions is Both/And instead of Either/Or. And, lately, it seems like much of my life is calling me to embrace All. Last week I wrote about embracing both “good” and “bad” and everything in between.

This week, A Course of Love is speaking to me loudly and clearly. I am both God and service to God. I am both living and serving life. I am both provided for and providing.

To the Infinite Wholeness of Life!
To the Infinite Wholeness of Life!

I’ve come a long way since the black and white thinking of my teens and early adult years. I’m grateful.

Last week, as I noticed how embracing good, bad and in-between caused me to relax, so too does embracing myself as God and in service to God.

I have less to sift through, less to figure out, less to try to control. I feel less pressured and more accepting. It feels amazing.

What about you? What are you hearing in this? What is showing up in your life right now?

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

How Do We Allow Ourselves to Receive Without Feeling Like a Taker?

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Two of my coaching clients are working on receiving more. They’ve been life-long givers and prone to burnout as we talked about in last week’s Strong Notes. Recently one of them shared with me that she doesn’t easily receive because then she feels like a taker.

As I often do when I’m digging deep with a human issue, I went to the dictionary. The first definition of receive, “to take into one’s possession (something offered or delivered): to receive many gifts.” No wonder she felt like a taker. According to the dictionary, she was a taker.

So what does the dictionary say about taking? First definition, “to get into one’s hold or possession by voluntary action: to take a pen and begin to write.” What caught my attention was “voluntary action.” We often tend to associate taking with extracting, taking something from someone against their will.

So, what if we drop all the thinking and judging? What if we don’t label taking as bad? What if we are present in the moment and fully receive whatever is given? What if we take in the present moment and whatever it gives us?

Ahhhhhh, to take in the glory of this sunset! What would it take to allow ourselves to be takers?
Ahhhhhh, to take in the glory of this sunset! What
would it take to allow ourselves to be takers?

What if we take in all life has to offer and no one else goes without? WHAT IF taking is the same beautiful act of love as giving?!?

Post your comments and insights below.

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

How to Stay Out of Burnout as a Giver

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I’ve had some tendency toward giving to the point of resentment. And, some of my coaching clients have had tendencies to give to the point of depletion and depression.

So, I’ve had this inquiry for awhile: what does it take to give in a healthy way? When I’ve been in lower moods, it comes out something like: “if I give tons to everyone else, who will give to me?” Just the other day, I was shocked to actually receive an answer to that question asked in frustration.

Me. I will give to me.

Let me explain. Until that answer came, I believed there were givers and takers. And, they tended to pair up. What better for a taker than someone with lots to give?

Well, what if that whole model is only one way to look at it?

clouds

What do these glorious clouds have to share 
with us about vibrant living?

What if I live my life as a giver and I am one of the people I give to? Maybe I am the first person I give to (so that I’m giving from an overflowing cup)?

What might shift inside me so that I am not an energetic match for takers? What if my world view and focus is around giving? What if I am an energetic match for givers?

I do not yet know the answers to all these questions. I do love the questions! And, I do know that me giving to me instead of resentfully wondering who is going to give to me is definitely a wonderful way to live. And it’s a great way to avoid burnout and resentment.

I will report back to you as I know more. In the meantime, what about you? If you’ve noticed yourself depleting yourself by giving to everyone else, what have you done to avoid burnout?

Post your comments and insights below.

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order