What Happens If You Allow Your WHYs to Guide You?

One of my clients recently became completely overwhelmed studying for an exam for a professional certification. To support her in being present with her studying, I asked her why it’s important for her to pass this exam.

Over the phone, I heard her lighten up as she answered, “I get to help my clients in a new way and I’ll make more money with this added service.” “Why is it important to make more money?” “Because when we start a family in a couple of years, if I make more money now, I can work less then.”

“So, as you’re studying and you notice you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, can you take a deep breath, remember why you’re doing this and then get back to it?” She laughed. “Of course. I feel better already.”

For me, most years at this time of year, I have to firmly remind myself why I’m going to focus on activities I love in the summer. There aren’t many of them because summer is my least favorite season. Tomorrow when I’m enjoying dinner on a restaurant patio with a friend to celebrate her birthday, I will remember I eat lots of summer meals on the patio because I am unwilling to be miserable for 25% of each year!

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My 16-year-old niece, Hailey, and I enjoying our latte and white mocha on the patio of my favorite San Diego coffee shop, 99 Cups in Pacific Beach. YAY patios!!!

So what about you? What’s challenging you right now? What is your WHY? Does that help you move forward in a way that feels better to you? Post your experiences below . . .

I Am Love

Love is not something I do.
Love is not something I get from you.
Love is not something I give to you.

Love is who I am.
Love is who you are.

LOVE IS WHO I AM.
LOVE IS WHO YOU ARE.

As I feel into this,
I notice my brain wants meaning.
What does this mean?

As I feel into this,
I realize my heart KNOWS.

Without words.
With a softening of my body.
With a slowing of my breath.

Experiencing myself as love.
Experiencing you as love.

I Am Love
Experiencing this road, this snow, these clouds, these trees as love.

Experiencing the air I breath as love.
Experiencing the sun upon my face as love.
Experiencing life as love.
Experiencing. Love.

What about you? What’s your experience? Post your experiences below…

What Can We Rely on When Things Seem Uncertain?

The change of administration in Washington here in the U.S. has many people feeling uncertain about what the future holds. The truth is that we never know what the future holds. And, times of transition tend to make us hyper-aware of that.

So, what can we rely on?

For some it’s faith and spiritual practice. For others it’s their own internal strengths and gifts.

While I rely on my faith and spiritual practice as well as my internal strengths and gifts, I also rely on my relationship with nature.

Here’s a 3-minute clip from a talk I gave at church this past summer about how nature sustains me.

Nature Shows Me that I Do Belong

I’d love to know what you rely on when faced with uncertainty . . .

What If We Could Actually Create a New Reality?

A Course of Love tells us that we’ve been creating in response to “reality.” It goes on to tell us that we are now called to create reality – a new reality.

As we here in the United States are about to swear in a new president, it can easily look like we must create something in response to this “reality.” As I look down that road, that looks like fighting, division and righteousness – at best.

What If We Could Actually Create a New Reality?

The road that got us here probably isn’t going to take us where we’d like to go . . .

Which makes me super curious what it means to create a new reality. What if I could create a new reality, not in response to what seems to be “reality?” What if you could? What if we could? What could we do together?!?

I don’t know the answers yet. And, instinctively, it does feel like the right question.

What’s your sense? What’s on your heart and in your mind? I’d love your comments and insights below.

How Can We Cultivate Ill-Tended Seeds of Justice for All?

Sunday is Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday. His dream involved nonviolence, justice and equality, social and political reform.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr

This year, more than ever, I feel determined to See, Know and Create a world of Love. Despite outward appearances.

Today, it can look like we are so far from that. So, it’s imperative we live his dream.

 How Can We Cultivate Ill-Tended Seeds of Justice for All?

The Martin Luther King, Jr Memorial in Denver, Colorado. The irony of the fog is not lost on me. And still, we must continue to Create a world where his dream becomes a reality for All.

My dream involves activating each and all of us in coming to know that we are Love. And, that we are One. Looking beyond our differences to our shared humanity.

I fiercely hold the vision of this person in front of me loving and valuing themselves, no matter what. And in turn, loving and valuing those around them. Each of us together Creating a world of Love that dissolves any seeming division.

Thank you Martin Luther King, Jr. for planting the seeds of your big dream. It’s now up to us to cultivate those seeds, regardless of how ill-tended they may have been until this moment.

I’d love your comments and insights below.

What’s the Extraordinary Value of a Focus for the New Year?

In addition to, or sometimes instead of, helping my clients set goals for the new year, I also help them discover their theme to focus on for the year. They often receive the theme “out of the blue.”

This is what gives the focus/theme extraordinary value. Instead of methodically and intellectually determining our goals, we intuitively and mysteriously receive our focus/theme. It gives us a very broad and deep approach to our own growth and development.

One of my clients received Listening as her focus for the new year. Another client’s focus is Being Her Own Best Friend. Mine is Seeing Anew.

What’s the Extraordinary Value of a Focus for the New Year?

I received mine on the eve of the Solstice. One of the things I’ve noticed since then is how habitually I think I know what it is I’m seeing. I love that I’m already beginning to naturally ask myself, “What is really here? What else can I see? When I look through my Eyes of Love, my Christ Eyes, what do I see?”

So what about you? Did a focus or theme come to you as you were reading this? Did you already know yours? If not, are you willing to receive yours?

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

What If There’s Huge Value in Not Reaching Our Goals?

Two of my clients didn’t reach goals around their health this year. Another didn’t reach his financial goals. I had high hopes for getting my two-year-old cat, Miles, healthy by the end of the year. We aren’t there yet. This may sound strange coming from a coach who makes her living helping clients reach their goals.

So, here’s the thing: When we don’t reach the goals our human ego sets, we have the opportunity to create a deeper, more intimate relationship with ourselves. We become a new person on the way to achieving the human goals. And, we get further in those human areas than if we hadn’t set the goals.

The two clients who have goals around their health are becoming far more self-compassionate, self-loving and their own best friends.

The client with financial goals is learning to give himself credit for being in the process. He’s also learning about his inner security as he works on his outer security.

What If There’s Huge Value in Not Reaching Our Goals?

As for me and Miles, I’ve gotten to experience his unconditional affection, no matter how he feels. I’m learning patience and accepting what is. I’m learning that me being nervous and frustrated affects both of us poorly.

For all of us, we have the opportunity to set new goals, perhaps with a bit more wisdom about ourselves.

So what about you? Are there goals you didn’t reach this year? If so, how might you find the huge value for you?

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

Happy Solstice!

Finally Coming to Know How to Be Grateful for All

For years, well decades really, I’ve wondered how to be grateful when “bad” things happen. As I become more and more aware that I don’t have a clue what’s “bad” and what’s “good,” it’s slowly dawning on me that this is the doorway.

As I don’t so quickly push away “bad” things, I’m giving myself the opportunity to be with them, to be with everything – “good” and “bad.”

As I allow myself to simply be with things, rather than categorizing and exiling the “bad,” then I’m way more relaxed.

Apparently labeling and banishing has taken a whole lotta energy.

As I’m accepting more and judging less, I breathe deeper and feel grateful for that additional oxygen. With more oxygen circulating throughout me, it occurs to me that anything I refuse to accept literally takes life away from me.

Finally Coming to Know How to Be Grateful for All

As I accept more and more, I have more and more access to life, all life. I get to experience the sweetness in each moment, whether it’s the sweetness of joy, the sweetness of heartbreak or one of the infinite varieties of sweetness.

I am there, in the moment. Fully alive, fully available, fully accepting. Now that’s something to be fully grateful for!

For those of you in the US, Happy Thanksgiving.

For all of us, may we be fully grateful for all of it!

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming stress and overwhelm into clarity and purpose”)

How Do We Stop Election Fear from Within?

One of my mentors, Dicken Bettinger, posted thoughts on Facebook worth repeating here today.

“The real question is not what will happen as a result of this election.

Politicians do not determine the overall level of well-being of those who live in their country.

To me, the real questions are:

  • Can we look within and set aside our judgmental thoughts of others?
  • Can we find love and understanding in our hearts?
  • Can we bring these feelings to each other, especially those who disagree with us?
  • Can we find tolerance deep in our souls, especially for those who see life differently than we do?
  • Can we find within us the spirit of cooperation that is based on tolerance and respect so that we can truly work together to create a society that is looking out for what is best for the whole rather than just our own self-interests?

How Do We Stop Election Fear from Within?

The problems of the world ultimately will not be resolved on a political level. The problems of the world will ultimately be resolved only by each of us bringing more love and understanding into the world.

May we all get better at listening for, and to, the inner wisdom that continues to guide us toward a more peaceful and loving world community.”

Dicken Bettinger, originally published on Facebook

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.