The Amazingly Simple Way to Gain Clarity

Over and over again, clients come to coaching with me to gain clarity. Their number one desire, by far, involves experiencing clarity – both big picture clarity and day-to-day decision-making clarity. In all areas of their lives.

For all of us, clarity naturally occurs when we allow our minds to settle down and we are present in the moment. Take a couple of deep breaths into that. Ahhhh . . .

No multi-tasking, no screens, no running to the next thing. Without resisting what is. Simple quiet mind, present in the moment.

Recently, one of my new clients told me she wanted to experience un-jumbled-ness. What a wonderful way to put it. I could see and feel the jumbledness and I could see and feel it dissolving.

We all have access to clarity in any moment. And we may not have much experience in getting there because we first must override some habitual patterns that lead to jumbledness.

One of my favorite ways to invite clarity involves letting go until the morning. Almost always my mind is more settled and I am more present for the first few hours of the day.

Oh, the clarity that comes as the day settles into night . . .
Oh, the clarity that comes as the day settles into night . . .

One of my clients finds that clarity often comes to her while she’s walking her dog. Another client frequently experiences clarity while showering after a run.

If I’d like clarity around a small decision, like what to eat for lunch, I take a couple of deep breaths and tune into what my body wants.

If I don’t feel super clear and I need to make a decision, I make it with self-compassion and remind myself I’m doing the best I can in the moment. No need to shovel self-judgment into the jumble!

What about you? What allows your mind to settle? What allows you to become present in the moment? I would love to hear from you . . .

How to Notice When You Are Creating Heaven

Heaven: “This is wonderful. I could stay here forever.”
Hell: “This is not quite perfect.”
– Byron Katie
From her book, I Need Your Love – Is that True?

What separates us from animals involves our intellectual capacity, our ability to think and reason. Yet, for the most part, most of us, most of the time don’t notice that our thinking causes our misery.

The minute we think any external circumstance, experience or person causes our happiness, we have begun to create our own private hell. And, we do this innocently, often without conscious awareness, thousands of times a day.

“I wonder if he likes me.” “If I can just hang in there until I get more clients.” “I’ll feel better when the kids calm down.” “I can’t wait until it stops raining.” “When I make more money…” “As soon as I lose the weight…” “Once I get the car fixed…” “It will be better when I get divorced, married, retired…” “If only…”

You get the idea. Once we become aware of our particular brand of this regurgitated thought, we can begin to consciously question it and/or take it less seriously and allow it to pass without engaging with it.

How to Notice When You Are Creating Heaven

When we remember that our essential nature is Love and well-being, we begin to become aware of the wonder in every moment, in every experience. When we remember that we are like the sun and the eternally blue sky and our thoughts are like the clouds, we can enjoy our Light and be gracious about allowing the clouds to pass.

And, we may just notice ourselves saying more and more frequently, “This is wonderful. I could stay here forever.” Regardless of what our circumstances look like.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you“)

Why Might We Like to Perceive in this New Way?

I have been aware of and studying the principles of Thought, Consciousness and Mind for years.* And, I am just beginning to understand the transformative power of not taking regurgitated thought seriously.

When I remember regurgitated thinking is not reality, but rather just regurgitated thinking, then I’ve allowed an opening in my world for fresh, new thinking. With fresh, new thinking comes opportunities I have only dreamed of. With fresh new thinking comes opportunities I have never dreamed of!

When I remember regurgitated thinking is not reality, I don’t take it seriously and my whole world lightens up. Maybe things aren’t as bad as I think. Maybe I don’t need to worry so much. I might notice that things do truly always work out.

When I remember regurgitated thinking is not reality, it gives me the opportunity to remember that my entire experience of life comes from my thinking and feeling, not from ANY external circumstances.

The landscape of my wonderful life.  Focusing on this beauty rather than  getting bogged down in the mud - the literal mud and the mud in my mind!

The landscape of my wonderful life. Focusing on this beauty
rather than getting bogged down in the mud – the literal mud
and the mud in my mind!

It frees me up to experience my wonderful life even if I don’t have as much money in the bank as I would like. Or, if I’m tired. Even if I’m cranky. How great is that – to experience my wonderful life even if I’m cranky?!?

Why might we like to perceive in this new way? Maybe because we can stop chasing and immediately access our wonderful life that is always right here. Well, that’s a bit of a new thought . . .

* If you’d like to dive deeper into these principles, I highly recommend Michal Neill’s book, The Inside Out Revolution or Ken Manning, Robin Charbit and Sandra Krot’s book for business, Invisible Power. Better yet, give yourself the gift of reading both.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

How to Elevate Your Thoughts for a Happier Life

As human beings we have thinking as a distinction from other animals. Most of us clearly understand that our thinking sets us apart. And yet, few of us seem to understand that we have the ability to “think” in two radically different ways.

Most of our thinking is repetitive, regurgitated and anxiety-provoking. Did I lock the house? Why can’t I seem to I get to work on time? My hair looks like hell. What did he mean when he said . . . ? I don’t ever seem to be able to keep track of the money in the account. I don’t want to deal with my mother. I’m sick of . . . When will I get a handle on . . . ? Why can’t I . . . ? How am I doing? There I go again, me with my big mouth. I hate . . . I wish she would . . . Isn’t it ever going to be my turn?
Regurgitated thought.

And then, we have these wonderful, perhaps far too rare, moments of quiet mind. Without the clutter of regurgitated thinking, we suddenly have a brilliant idea. Maybe while taking a shower, hiking through the woods, watching the ocean or playing with the kids or grandkids. Handed to us straight from the Divine. Often eliciting excitement and peace at the same time.
Inspired thought.

My mind tends to settle down and become more spacious when  I hang out with the clouds.
My mind tends to settle down and become more spacious when
I hang out with the clouds.

Lest you start to notice regurgitated thinking and start judging yourself for it, simply notice that the judgment is also regurgitated thinking. And smile. Ah, to be human.

Awareness shifts everything. As we become aware of regurgitated thought, it tends to loosen its grip. Awareness helps us refrain from decision-making until our mind quiets. We also naturally tend to move toward more activities that create space for inspired thought.

More spaciousness in our head for inspired thought and less attention on regurgitated thought naturally conspire for a happier life . . .

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

What Opens Your Heart to Joy?

Recently, one of my coaching clients mentioned it was hard for her to keep her focus on what’s important to her. How often does that happen for all of us?

Especially at this time of year, it can be easy to slip into a whirlwind of activity or focusing on what’s missing.

If you’ve taken a moment to read this, take another moment to check in with yourself, become present to this holy moment and notice what opens your heart to joy. Allow yourself to be present with that in this moment.

Ann Strong Blog Post 122315

As I was writing this, I realized I wanted to run outside and photograph the beauty of this shortest day of the year. The clouds and the mountains and the snow – opening my heart to joy . . .

And this moment.

And this moment. What opens your heart to joy now in this moment?

Hmmmm, perhaps a wonderful way to live a life . . .

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

What Is the Beauty of the Whole Human Experience?

Thirty years ago, when I discovered the Power of Positive Thinking and a bit later that My Thoughts Create My Reality, I was thrilled. I felt like I had been given the keys to the kingdom. A simple success formula: think happy thoughts, have a happy life.

Yet, something seemed off and my life often wasn’t happy.

Over the years, I tried many versions of the formula. I wrote positive affirmations, read uplifting books, hired a coach to help me raise my vibration and attended Create Your Best Life webinars and seminars.

While they all seemed like good ideas, I could tell that something still didn’t fit for me. Without knowing what was missing, I moved on.

More accurately, I thought I had moved on. Four years ago, I wrote my first book, Thriving Work. With a subtitle of “A journey to your best self…” I see now that a journey to my best self abandons my “worst” self somewhere along the path.

The book includes 33 affirmative prayers. 27 of them are written from the power-of-positive-thinking perspective, 4 point toward being ourselves fully (all the “good” and “bad”) and 2 directly address including all of ourselves (“All of Me, None of Me” and “From the Fullness of You”).

When I wrote the book, I didn’t sort the prayers that way. I simply wrote what I knew at the time. All of the prayers have been wonderful companions on my life journey. And, they have uplifted and positively impacted many readers.

Only recently, did I come to realize the missing link.

We don’t always control our thinking. And, when we do temporarily manage to control our thinking, we cut off part of our human experience.

I love how Michael Neill describes this. “If we think we are meant to be in charge of what we think, we feel like victims of our own inadequacy, and that if we only tried harder/were more vigilant/had better techniques we would have everything we want and could always be happy and never angry, fearful, or sad.”

What Is the Beauty of the Whole Human Experience

Now that I am beginning to realize thoughts are like clouds, I allow them to be how and what they are, without taking them too seriously. I allow all of them, without trying to make them positive. And I consciously (as best I can in any moment) choose which ones to act on and which ones to allow to pass.

Without needing to control my thoughts, I’m relaxing more. I’m enjoying being human, without so much vigilance. When I notice my thoughts are less than positive, I remember I don’t need to be so concerned with the content of my thoughts.

I’m making less distinction about “good” and “bad.” I’ve spent so much of my life avoiding what I consider “bad,” and it’s been exhausting.

I’m becoming more and more aware that this moment is my life. When I am present in the moment (however “good,” “bad” or in-between), it is somehow wonderful regardless. Now that is the beauty of the whole human experience!

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you“)

Happy Autumn Pictures from New Mexico

For those of you who have listened to my talk at Celebration a few weeks ago, you know that my primary church is the great outdoors. Right now for me here in New Mexico, it is the Galisteo Basin Preserve. 13,522 acres of open space, 3 miles from my front door. To celebrate autumn, I thought I’d share a bit of my “church” in pictures.

Gorgeous first day of autumn.
Gorgeous first day of autumn.

 

I always feel so alive and peaceful in the serenity<br /> and solitude of this place.
I always feel so alive and peaceful in the serenity and
solitude of this place.

 

The glory of the autumn sunset . . .
The glory of the autumn sunset . . .

 

I would love to know about your “church” and what it means to you . . .

The Dark Side of Know, Like and Trust

I have been selling all my life.

5-year-old me gathered seeds from my mother’s four o’clock flowers and sold them to the neighbors. During grade school, I sold Current greeting cards to my teachers after school.

As soon as I was old enough, I sold chicken at KFC. In my senior year of high school, I made a bold career move and went to work at Country Kitchen for tiny pay and tips. I doubled my income.

As an adult with adult bills to pay, I decided to get some sales training to maximize my income. I learned that people buy from those they know, like and trust. This was good news to me because it was easy for me to get people to know, like and trust me.

An innocent misunderstanding that guided my career for the next few decades.

I see now that there is a world of difference between people naturally knowing, liking and trusting me and me getting people to know, like and trust me. I was grasping for something that was already mine if only I had relaxed into the knowing that I am enough.

Ah, the joy of being One with an environment that knows no grasping . . .

Ah, the joy of being One with an environment that knows no grasping . . .

My job isn’t about getting anybody to do anything. My true work: being me. Then, a person likes me or doesn’t like me. They are drawn to know me or they aren’t. If they do know and like me, chances are good they will trust me.

When I first realized this, it terrified me. I was going to leave it up to chance? If I didn’t work at getting people to like me, then what if they didn’t? People buy only from those they know, like and trust. What if not enough people liked me?

The irony: people are far more likely to know, like and trust me when I am genuinely me. Whether or not they are conscious of it, people can feel that grasping energy of “I need you to know, like and trust me so that you will buy from me.”

Today, I don’t know if enough people will like me. Which is okay because that isn’t my part. I am doing my part by focusing on knowing, liking and trusting myself and that is way more than enough!

So now, my sales job description has shifted a bit. Without self-consciousness and grasping, I have more capacity to focus on the person in front of me. What’s going on in their world? What do they need? Might I be able to offer them something of value?

That feels good! I didn’t realize how creepy it felt to be selling me. I’m not for sale.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

I would love your thoughts and responses. Post comments and insights below . . .

How Do Your Strengths Influence What You Value about Coaching?

Coaching since 1997, I have noticed that we all hire coaches to help us create more fulfilling lives. The wonderful and fascinating thing about consciously creating our lives: there are as many ways to do it as there are people on the planet.

Perhaps that’s why we have so many types of coaching – from business to intimacy, from spiritual to success, from health to grief. Over the years, I myself have worked with 14 different coaches. Each for different reasons.

And I have noticed patterns about why people hire coaches based on their strengths.

Strategic Thinkers hire me as a thinking partner and for accountability.

Executing folks either hire me to help them get even more stuff done or to improve their relationships. People who have the Executing strength of Responsibility in their top 5 usually hire me to learn how to (finally) be responsible to themselves first or to deepen their spiritual practice.

Relationship Builders hire me to create a connection and learn more about themselves through our relationship. They love it when I help them see their blind spots.

Influencers hire me to leverage their reach with people. They are often interested in how to move even more people or how to influence them more deeply.

train tracks
What makes your life fulfilling and meaningful?

So, what about you? Do you know your top 5 strengths? What have you noticed has brought you the greatest value from coaching?

(If you don’t know your StrengthsFinder strengths, I highly recommend that you invest $19.99 and 30 – 40 minutes to learn what makes you one-of-a-kind! That’s me at my Influencing best.)

I would love your thoughts and responses. Post comments and insights below . . .

With Identity Shaken: Who am I?

“Who am I?”

I’ve been asking myself that question a lot lately.

It’s been 8 months since I moved from Denver to Santa Fe and the shift in identity has been kicking my butt lately.

In the biggest, most cosmic sense, I am the unchanging and boundless radiant Light that I have always been and always will be.

In the personality, human sense, I’m judging myself for feeling less grounded and focused. I’ve noticed I’m starting to drive like I live in the country, without my aggressive city edge. I couldn’t decide if that was good or bad. And, then I got it: it just is. Neither good nor bad.

Do I really think I am how I drive?!?

The irony: Denver is my birth home and I moved to Santa Fe because New Mexico is my spiritual home.

Deep breath. Ah . . . my ego is having a tough time. Still wanting to control when my soul is letting go and surrendering.

Three of my clients are going through something similar. And none of them have moved. One is starting a business, another just began a romantic relationship when she had been sure she never wanted that again and the third formed a business partnership with a woman she adores and admires.

All of our changes are wonderful and positive, yet they shake up our identities, our egos. Ego doesn’t want to be shaken up.

I’ve found that remembering my True Identity really helps. I am not my ego, even if my ego is extremely committed to making me believe I am.

AStrongBlogpost052915
Ah, the challenge of being both Divine and human.
Gotta love Santa Fe art. Seen at the Shidoni Foundry
and Gallery in Tesuque, NM.

I leave you with this piece from my book:

All of Me, None of Me

Who I am is enough.

I allow my self-conscious,
limiting ideas
about myself
to drop away.

I accept and embrace my
fragile humanity
and my infinite Divinity.

I take myself lightly.

With bemusement and love,
I acknowledge my
quirks, inconsistencies and attachments.

With delight and love,
I acknowledge my powerful Presence.

I am. I am not.

I would love your thoughts and experiences.
Post comments and insights below . . .

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order