Santa Fe Nature Photos

What if New Energy Easily Dissolves the Need to Control?

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Recently, I facilitated a StrengthsFinder workshop with less than 24 hours notice, stepping in for a sick colleague. Because there was no time to jump on a plane, the 16 participants gathered in a room in San Diego and I was teleconferenced into the room from Santa Fe.

I worked with a wonderful support facilitator, Rachel, who was in the room in San Diego. She was also an amazing conferencing engineer.

Our strengths couldn’t have been more complimentary. All of her top 5 strengths are tasks strengths – executing and strategic thinking strengths. My top 5 are all people strengths – relationship building and influencing.

We had several huge tech problems in our run-through and Rachel got us through every one with ease and humor. So many things were out of my control – very little time to prepare, rescheduling work that I had planned for that day, all the various ways technology misbehaves and the list goes on . . .

I could feel myself trying to control my feelings, “Don’t get upset. Don’t worry. Be positive.” Internally, I could hear myself trying to control my behavior, “Smile more. Keep pushing through. Rearrange your schedule this particular way. Trust.”

In a moment of grace and insight, I let it all go. I recognized that I had this wonderful opportunity to introduce 16 people to their own strengths. This is one of my greatest joys. I became present to the purpose of what we were doing and let the details work themselves out.

I saw how often my need to control actually keeps me from being present and enjoying life. Somehow this awareness helped me relax.

Ahhh, to boldly put your little face to the sun, not 2 inches off the ground in the middle of a hiking trail! That's being willing to relax without needing to control . . .
Ahhh, to boldly put your little face to the sun, not
2 inches off the ground in the middle of a hiking trail!
That’s being willing to relax without needing to control . . .

From my new relaxed energy, all my work easily rescheduled. Rachel worked out all the bugs in the run-through and the technical aspects of the actual workshop went smoothly.

I have facilitated both teleconferences and in-person workshops. This was my first experience of the hybrid of teleconference and in-person. I never did figure out how to “get into the room” more. I definitely felt a barrier between me up there on the big monitor and all of them in the room.

I wanted less of a barrier so that they could get more from the workshop. There I was trying to control again . . . So once again, I let it go. I held a clear intention that they would receive huge value, I did all I could do toward that end and I let the rest go.

When I drop needing to control, it creates a wonderful spaciousness. I could then be present with them (even if I was 850 miles away) and work my magic.

I would love your thoughts and experiences.

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How Do We Allow Ourselves to Receive Without Feeling Like a Taker?

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Two of my coaching clients are working on receiving more. They’ve been life-long givers and prone to burnout as we talked about in last week’s Strong Notes. Recently one of them shared with me that she doesn’t easily receive because then she feels like a taker.

As I often do when I’m digging deep with a human issue, I went to the dictionary. The first definition of receive, “to take into one’s possession (something offered or delivered): to receive many gifts.” No wonder she felt like a taker. According to the dictionary, she was a taker.

So what does the dictionary say about taking? First definition, “to get into one’s hold or possession by voluntary action: to take a pen and begin to write.” What caught my attention was “voluntary action.” We often tend to associate taking with extracting, taking something from someone against their will.

So, what if we drop all the thinking and judging? What if we don’t label taking as bad? What if we are present in the moment and fully receive whatever is given? What if we take in the present moment and whatever it gives us?

Ahhhhhh, to take in the glory of this sunset! What would it take to allow ourselves to be takers?
Ahhhhhh, to take in the glory of this sunset! What
would it take to allow ourselves to be takers?

What if we take in all life has to offer and no one else goes without? WHAT IF taking is the same beautiful act of love as giving?!?

Post your comments and insights below.

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How to Stay Out of Burnout as a Giver

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I’ve had some tendency toward giving to the point of resentment. And, some of my coaching clients have had tendencies to give to the point of depletion and depression.

So, I’ve had this inquiry for awhile: what does it take to give in a healthy way? When I’ve been in lower moods, it comes out something like: “if I give tons to everyone else, who will give to me?” Just the other day, I was shocked to actually receive an answer to that question asked in frustration.

Me. I will give to me.

Let me explain. Until that answer came, I believed there were givers and takers. And, they tended to pair up. What better for a taker than someone with lots to give?

Well, what if that whole model is only one way to look at it?

clouds

What do these glorious clouds have to share 
with us about vibrant living?

What if I live my life as a giver and I am one of the people I give to? Maybe I am the first person I give to (so that I’m giving from an overflowing cup)?

What might shift inside me so that I am not an energetic match for takers? What if my world view and focus is around giving? What if I am an energetic match for givers?

I do not yet know the answers to all these questions. I do love the questions! And, I do know that me giving to me instead of resentfully wondering who is going to give to me is definitely a wonderful way to live. And it’s a great way to avoid burnout and resentment.

I will report back to you as I know more. In the meantime, what about you? If you’ve noticed yourself depleting yourself by giving to everyone else, what have you done to avoid burnout?

Post your comments and insights below.

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on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
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How to Be More Present, Experiencing Your Awesome Life

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“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
From the book, Peace Is Every Step

Allergies caught me off-guard a few weeks ago. Turns out that Junipers are a big culprit in wonderful Santa Fe.

Well, in the past when I lived in Denver, ragweed allergies consumed many of my autumn seasons. I could barely take in the glory of the changing leaves because I was so busy praying for frost. A hard frost that would kill anything that was bothering me.

This year, I wasn’t willing to give my spring to allergies. So, I started taking three homeopathic remedies from Whole Foods.

More importantly, I decided to become really present to Junipers. I had spent decades afraid of ragweed. To this day, I’m not sure what ragweed looks like! Crazy.

The good news about Junipers: I know exactly what they look like. They grow everywhere here. They surround my casita and grow prolifically both in town and along all my walking trails.

Out of my sheer stubbornness, I decided to befriend Junipers, become One with Junipers and refused to resist Junipers.

junipers in Santa Fe
I am Juniper. We aren’t the most beautiful tree on the planet, but we
do grow like crazy! I am being present as Juniper and with Juniper in
my big, beautiful backyard, the Galisteo Basin Preserve. Why would I
ever want to resist Junipers and miss the glory of this full moon?!?

I truly believe we all (you, me and Junipers) are One. Therefore, I am Juniper.

And you know, a strange and wonderful thing has happened. I still have some allergy symptoms AND I am loving spring here. The more present I am, even with circumstances I would prefer to be different, the more I’m experiencing my awesome life.

So, what about you? How can you become more present to all of your life – the good, the bad, the ugly? What I’ve noticed, when I am willing to be present with what I think is bad and ugly, my experience of life becomes beautiful . . .

Post your comments and insights below.

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on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
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Guaranteed Gratitude

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I have written about gratitude for the past 15 years at Thanksgiving. Many years, I have written about it at other times as well. I love it – appreciation is one of the strongest perspective changers that we have freely available to us. Today as I sat down to write, I wondered what would be my fresh perspective this year.

Guaranteed.

What aspects of your life consistently bring you joy? Every time? No matter what? Even if you’re annoyed at the same time?

That you might overlook feeling appreciative because they are ever-present? Like breathing?

Yes, deep breathing is one for me. No matter how upset I get, my breath can calm me down. When I remember to slow down and deepen my breathing, I reconnect to me, to the Universe, to whatever is in front of me.

Jasmine, my magical black kitty with deep green eyes and seven toes on both front paws and six on the back ones. She has the strongest will and loves to talk more than any cat I’ve ever known. She is pure love and freedom in action. Regardless of how much she’s ripping up the room, I can’t help but be grateful for her.

The moon, oh the moon. She’s just a sliver today and I am so grateful to have her visible once again. She shines as a reliable, beautiful companion.

Kundalini yoga. Even when the postures seem impossible and I am muttering under my breath, I feel immense gratitude for having this practice that loves my body, mind, heart and spirit!

My ability to walk. To get to be out in nature every day makes me very happy. I’m even learning how to appreciate wind. I am so grateful for the Earth and all of the elements and my relationships with them.

One of the many wonderful places I now get to walk and delight in so many elements of nature: a sunset from my "Big Backyard," the Galisteo Basin Preserve

One of the many wonderful places I now get to walk and delight
in so many elements of nature: a sunset from my “Big Backyard,”
the Galisteo Basin Preserve

My consistent courage to change and grow and experience. I am so grateful to be me!

My niece, Alisha. Allow me to be a proud aunt for a moment. She just learned Friday that she passed the California Bar. Yes, on her first time of taking it. All that led up to this huge accomplishment has made her grumpy. Often. Over many months. And it didn’t even matter to me. I love and adore her and appreciate every minute I spend with her, even via text. I am so grateful that I get to have such an extraordinary young woman in my life.

So, what about you? What are your Guaranteeds?

Post your comments, insights and progress below.

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

Mindfulness: New Mexico edition of “Why Am I So Happy?”

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I’ve been living in New Mexico for almost 3 weeks now. The entire transition went beautifully. Everything from lots of packing help – when does that happen – to just the right amount of boxes to receiving my full deposit back from my apartment within a week when they told me it would take up to 8 weeks.

My casita is more beautiful and light-filled than I had even imagined. The drive into Santa Fe is short, gorgeous and peaceful. I have a wonderful new yoga studio and am trying lots of great coffee shops to find my favorite. I’m unpacked and found everything.

One of the amazing sunsets I get to see every day!

One of the amazing sunsets I get to see every day!

 

Why am I so happy?

  • I took a risk.
  • I’m creating more of the life I desire – a retreat life.
  • The quiet, oh, the quiet.
  • I live in the most gorgeous light.
  • I do some of my work outside on my patio.
  • I am planted in 360 degree beauty.
  • Every day is a new sunset.
  • The moon and the stars keep me company every night.
  • I now get to host clients for retreat in this beautiful, spacious, contemplative place.
  • My strength of Connectedness is soooo happy to be this connected to nature.
  • My strength of Empathy is thrilled to be surrounded by less people.
  • My Maximizer is overjoyed to be in the perfect place and perfect home for me (and she does not use the word “perfect” often).
  • My Individualization is tickled to be surrounded by people marching to the beat of their own drummer.

What is on the horizon for you? I had wanted to make this move for several years and always had reasons I couldn’t. How can I inspire you to take the next big step for you?

Post your comments, insights and progress below.

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

What’s Yearning to Be Discovered?

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Happy gorgeous autumn!

I adore this time of year. When the light becomes more clear and the mornings and evenings are cooler, my mind slows down a bit.  Almost instinctively, I reflect more in the mornings.  It’s as if my psyche begins to take stock of what is in the storehouse and root cellar.

This year my focus has turned to New Mexico, the home of my soul.  I lived north of Taos for two years in 1999 and 2000.  It was a magical time.  I fell in love with the land and the sky and the sage and the rocks.  And the spaciousness . . .  And the light and the moon and the sun.  I moved back to Denver as I was separating from my then-husband and needed to reinvigorate my business.

New Mexico landscape
The Rio Grande River just south of Taos,
as the season is turning to autumn.

It feels like it is time to live there again.  I have been looking at places since the beginning of August and wonderful casitas keep calling me and then their owners rent to someone else.  I finally took that as a sign that maybe now wasn’t the time.

And then I got another nudge. So I am going down to Lamy, NM (20 minutes northeast of Santa Fe) to look at another beautiful casita.  Once again I am excited to see what I will discover!

I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, what about you?  What is yearning to be discovered in your gorgeous autumn?

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Strong from Within . . .

If you are feeling called to go beyond some of your seeming limitations and would like coaching support, let’s have a conversation to explore if the one-on-one Strong from Within coaching program would be a good fit for you.

If it fits for you, we will do some of the coaching sitting on a wonderful New Mexico porch!

Porch in New Mexico

Ah, the transformative coaching we will do
on a porch like this!

Click here to schedule your conversation.

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

 

Mindfulness: Why Am I So Happy?

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In his new book, “The Millionaire Master Plan,” Roger Hamilton writes about his own practice for creating his day each morning.  He shares eight questions that he asks and answers himself every morning.

I have been playing with his questions.

My favorite, by far:
Why Am I So Happy?

This question presses me to find my happiness and gives me infinite opportunities to name it.  I’ve also noticed that I am becoming more aware of happiness as my natural, innate state, even when I temporarily feel unhappy about something.

081514BlogPost

How could I be anything but happy as
I stare into the face of this pure Beauty?

How great is that?!?

What about you?  In this moment, why are you so happy?

Post your comments, insights and progress below.

Thank you for playing with me today!

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Align with Source coaching

If you are ready to start a business, go to the next level with your business, change careers or radically transform your life, let’s have a conversation to explore if the one-year, one-on-one Align with Source coaching program would be a good fit for you.

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order