How Do You See Yourself? That Is How You Are.

One of the challenging opportunities for me of this nesting at home time has been noticing how I perceive myself. Several times recently, I’ve found myself regressing to an image of a small, limited version of me.

Thank goodness my profession requires me to focus on the strengths and infinite capacity of the person in front of me. And it starts with me. If I don’t see myself as the creator of my life, if I don’t see my strength and miraculous capacity, I won’t see it in my clients either.

When I noticed that my self-perception had drifted toward feeling like a victim of this world crisis, I gave myself some tough-love self-coaching.

I am the source of my world. And, every day, I have the honor and privilege of calling forth my clients to recognize and own that they are the source of their worlds and their businesses. It’s not always easy or comfortable work. Especially in the middle of a world crisis.

And, it’s the work that needs to be done right now. Our world is crying out for courageous leaders.

Some of them are cashiers at my grocery store. They’re kind and loving on the front lines. Some of them are ministers delivering powerful messages into cyberspace. Some of them are doctors and nurses tirelessly working toward healing.

Transformation | Spiritual Coach Denver, Santa Fe

What are you called to right now? Would you like a champion for seeing yourself as the Powerful Light that you are? If so, let’s have a coaching conversation – my gift – about me coaching you during this transformational time.

Click here to access my calendar to schedule.

What Geeks Your Strengths and Makes a Contribution?

When you feel happy, fulfilled and energized, you can be sure that all of your top StrengthsFinder strengths are working well together! And, what energizes you might not interest a co-worker or would actually deplete her.

StrengthsFinder Mini Case Study

Let’s look at this in real life.

Julie’s StrengthsFinder top 5 strengths:

  1. Discipline
  2. Responsibility
  3. Connectedness
  4. Maximizer
  5. Context

One of the things Julie naturally does in her work as a Marketing and Communications professional involves creating a template for each new communication she develops. Then, for a particular project, she puts the actual material into the email, program outline or protocol template. Once she’s shared that as needed, she saves that email, program outline or protocol template.

When another project requires a similar email, program outline or protocol, she uses her original saved document, tweaks it as needed with the new information and sends it on its way.

Which of her strengths are geeked about this process?

If you answered “all of them,” you’d be right! It’s easy to see Maximizer, Discipline and Connectedness at work here. And Responsibility loves to respond quickly when a colleague or client needs something from her. Context loves using what worked in the past with only a few tweaks needed.

Let me know if you or someone you serve would like to be featured in the StrengthsFinder Strengths (Now CliftonStrengths) Mini Case Study.

Important: How Do You Keep Your Strengths Top of Mind?

Because our StrengthsFinder® strengths are so natural to us, we tend to forget about them. When we forget, we negate the power of developing our strengths. It’s so fulfilling and rewarding to strengthen strengths! What’s one thing you can do on a daily basis to strengthen your strengths?

StrengthsFinder® Mini Case Study

Ann: My Activator would love to run the show. Ready, fire, aim is NOT the best strategy.

To make sure I’m activating the right things at the right time, I’ve put Connectedness in charge of all my strengths. Connectedness views things holistically and knows what’s most important.

Once Connectedness sees the direction, then Activator can engage Maximizer, Strategic, Empathy and Individualization in a far more beneficial way. Hooray – ready, aim, fire.

This Is as Important as the Top 5 Strengths

Which of the top 5 strengths are in which of the 4 domains?

Of the 34 strengths, 17 of the strengths relate to people and 17 relate to task. The people strengths are 9 relationship-building strengths and 8 influencing strengths. The task strengths are 9 executing strengths and 8 thinking strengths.

All combinations of strengths have equal capacity for contribution. And those contributions will vary wildly based on how many strengths are in which domains.

Mini Case Study
Janae: two Executing Strengths and three Relationship Building Strengths.

Keith: all 5 strengths are Thinking Strengths.

What kind of contributions might Janae make?
What kind of contributions might Keith make?
How would they work well together?
What might be areas of conflict?

While we could answer these questions more specifically if we knew their exact strengths, we can also understand what’s important to them just by looking at the domains.

StrengthsFinder® – What is the Genius of the Top 5 Strengths?

With each person I work with, I’m endlessly fascinated by what they can do beautifully and effortlessly. This naturally happens when their top 5 strengths are all working well together.

You can recognize this when a person is feeling fulfilled and energized and in the flow. Start with yourself. Then begin having this life-changing conversation with people you serve.

Mini Case Study
Adam: Strategic, Futuristic, Ideation, Significance, Achiever
He used to feel frustrated by being labeled the crazy thinker in the room. Owning his top 5 StrengthsFinder strengths, he realized he needed to start projects and businesses. Today he’s happiest and most effective when he’s creating structure for big visions.

Let me know if you or someone you serve would like to be featured in the Mini Case Study.

What Makes This a Good Life for You?

Recently, I noticed something that might seem obvious.

When we get to be ourselves, we tend to be happy.

This struck me after I coached two clients back-to-back. The first client is doing work she loves that really engage all of her strengths doing work she is passionate about. The second client is doing too much of the back office work in his business instead of the creative work he loves.

Both at work and at home, the more all of our strengths and interests are engaged, the more life feels good to us. When our strengths are frustrated, overused or underused, well, we just aren’t very happy.

What Makes this a Good Life for You?

The simple act of taking this photo makes my own top strengths super happy.  Maximizer loves the symmetry I captured.  Empathy feels the artist.  Connectedness feels the connection of art, artist, nature and art appreciator.  Activator just had to take the picture.  Individualization chose to photograph only two pieces and this was one of them.

What about you? If you know your StrengthsFinder strengths, please do share your ideas and insights below.

If you’d like more direction for your good life, take the Gallup StrengthsFinder assessment. And, if you’d like some strengths coaching, I’d be happy to help!

Join the conversation – comment below.

Waste of Time or My Strengths at Play?

Yesterday as I was preparing my fruit for breakfast, I took a spontaneous detour. I like my fruit room temperature (Individualization and Empathy toward myself) and I’d forgotten to take cuties out the fridge.

So I peeled a cold one and decided I wanted it warmer before I ate it. I started laying out the segments so they could warm quickly with air circulating around each individual segment. Activator and Strategic at work.

Waste of Time or My Strengths at Play AStrong

As I was doing that, my Maximizer, Connectedness and Strategic noticed a fun pattern. So, I created an amusing art piece for me, and now for you! And, after a few minutes, I ate it.

So fun!

What say you: waste of time or my strengths at play?

Join the conversation – comment below.

What If It Is the Voice of God?

I made a big financial business mistake last year. I joined a program to teach me THE system for developing my own program without taking the time to understand the fine print and without noticing that several aspects of the program didn’t fit my values.

My StrengthsFinder Activator strength in its raw form has taken me to places like this before. I thought I had grown her up better than that. So humbling to still be so human. Oh my goodness.

Reflecting on what went wrong and how to go forward, I realized that I had forgotten to ask my Connectedness strength for input as I was deciding about the program. Several years ago, I had made Connectedness the Goddess in charge of all my strengths.

Connectedness tends to be much quieter than Activator. And she has direct, consistent access to God, Spirit, Source. If I listen.

Since getting out of the program, I have quit looking “out there” for the system. Instead, I’ve turned to my coach and to Connectedness to guide me to my perfect “system.”

It turns out my “system” isn’t a system at all. Instead, it’s instinctually following guidance. Specific, made-only-for-me, that I don’t even know I want or need guidance.

Following the impulse to clean up an awkward interaction with a previous client, which led to two new business opportunities.

Saying yes to going to the gym with a new friend when I had made a vow to never step foot in a gym this lifetime. Only to find out my body craves working out. I now love going to the gym faithfully twice a week. Who knew? For months, my family didn’t even believe I’d joined a gym.

My niece, Alisha, came to New Mexico to check it out for herself and had to take this picture of Ann in her new happy place.
My niece, Alisha, came to New Mexico to check it out for herself and had to take this picture of Ann in her new happy place.

Expressing a sadness to my ex-sweetie which led to a conversation neither of us can now remember how it went which led to us getting back together and creating an amazing new relationship that we fondly call 2.0.

None of these miracles happened because I asked God, “So, what do you want me to do today?” I simply followed my heart and intuition in the moment. Even when the guidance went against a vow I’d made, felt super uncomfortable or too vulnerable.

Ah, Connectedness.

Maybe that mistake wasn’t a mistake at all. Maybe it was the quickest way to get me back to me. After many months of ruminating about the mistake, that’s the first time I’ve said that out loud. Thank you for listening.

Join the conversation – post your insights, feedback and experiences below.

Do You Have One of the 5 Powerhouse Strengths?

Recently, one of my coaching colleagues asked me about my observation of StrengthsFinder strengths that seem to have tremendous potential to both wreak havoc or make a huge contribution.

It was so much fun to share with her that I thought you might like to know – particularly if you have one, or more, of these 5 powerhouse strengths in your top 5.

Do You Have One of the 5 Powerhouse Strengths?

The 5: Responsibility, Restorative, Significance, Competition and Empathy.

The powerhouse effect can show up positively. Responsibility CAN be counted on. Restorative WILL solve the problem. Empathy DOES feel others’ feelings. Significance WILL make a huge contribution. Competition WILL win.

And, the powerhouse effect, can have negative results . . .

Let’s look at how your strength might go into overdrive and drain you . . .

Examples:

  • Responsibility being overly responsible to others at the expensive of your own health and/or well-being.
  • Empathy taking in everybody else’s feelings without an outlet. They then don’t pass through you, but rather take up residence inside you.

How might your strength be used immaturely?

Examples:

  • Restorative creating a problem where there isn’t one, so you can fix it.
  • Significance making a pest of itself by needing to be important, rather than contributing something important.

– How might your strength cause chaos or upset?

Example:

  • Competition not having something meaningful in which to compete, so you become depressed or make competitions about meaningless things and alienate those around you.

All 34 StrengthsFinder strengths can, and do, go into overdrive, show up immaturely and cause chaos or upset. All 34 also can, and do, make amazing contributions.

And, it has been my observation over the past 10 years, working with hundreds and hundreds of people around their strengths that these 5 strengths can feel particularly burdensome if we don’t stay on top of managing them properly.

For years, I wanted to give back my Empathy. While I was earnestly looking for the Returns Department, I had the good fortune to meet a coach who rocks Empathy in her top 5. She naturally receives the gift of Empathy without taking on the burden.

She has taught me so much. I no longer want to give back Empathy. And, I’m still learning how to be graciously detached!

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below, especially if you have Rsp, Rst, Sig, Cmp or Emp in your top 5 …

2 Factors that Make a Strong Relationship

I’m in the middle of reading a StrengthsFinder book, Strengths Based Marriage, by Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey.  The subtitle, Build a Stronger Relationship by Understanding Each Other’s Gifts, is an understatement.

2 Factors that Make a Strong Relationship

In my own relationships and in working with many couples around their relationships and each of their StrengthsFinder (now CliftonStrengths) strengths, I’ve found a profoundly deeper level of appreciation for our partners when we know and understand our own and our partner’s top strengths.

The two factors that naturally create strong relationships:
1.  Not taking differences personally.
2.  Noticing and championing the gifts of our partners’ strengths.

When my clients “Anna” and “Josh” learned their own and each others’ StrengthsFinder strengths, they immediately had far fewer arguments.  When I asked them exactly what had shifted, neither of them knew at first.  As we talked more, it became clear that they weren’t taking things personally anymore.

Both of them realized that the other wasn’t trying to hurt them, but rather they were naturally doing what their strengths guided them to do.  The more we talked and they came to understand the specifics of the others’ strengths, the more they appreciated the differences that the other brought to their partnership.

The second factor, after knowing our own and our partner’s StrengthsFinder strengths involves being willing to notice and champion the gifts, rather than the differences (which we often interpret as “wrong”) in both our own and our partners’ strengths.

For example, my partner has Deliberative in his top 5 strengths.  Deliberative makes decisions thoughtfully and carefully.  I have Activator in my top 5.  I jokingly call in my “dive in the pool and on the way down see if there’s any water” strength.

You can probably imagine if I hadn’t known our top 5 strengths, I would have thought my way of making decisions was right and his frustratingly wrong.

Because I did know our strengths, I deeply appreciated some decisions were far better made with his Deliberative in the mix.  I also had more patience than I would normally have had when he needed to think things through because I knew that was his process and he was good at making great decisions that way.

The more I work with individuals and couples around strengths, the more excited I get about facilitating far less misunderstandings and far greater respect and appreciation!

If you would love to give and receive more love, appreciation and understanding in your relationship, I have 2 openings in August for Strong Couple StrengthsFinder Coaching packages.

Get the details here:
http://annstrong.com/strong-couple-strengthsfinder-coaching/

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below . . .