Transformation

How Do You Answer the Call of the Season?

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This time of year endlessly fascinates me with the contrast of the natural call to go inward and the consumer call to run around out there.

I opted out of the consumer call almost 30 years ago.

And this year, because it’s been so warm and we haven’t yet seen our typical snow here in Northern New Mexico, I’ve been more outward-focused than usual.

Last night it occurred to me that I didn’t want to miss the sacred opportunity of this season.

How Do You Answer the Call of the Season?

How wonderful to notice that even many beautiful lights are held in deep darkness this time of year. (As seen on one of my neighbors’ house in Eldorado, New Mexico.)

Opportunities I’m noticing:

Waiting in stillness.

Receiving the gifts of solitude.

Embracing long shadows.

Slowing down.

Reflecting deeply into the night.

What about you? What are the sacred opportunities of this season for you?

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below . . .

Happy Sacred Solstice!

What Is the Only Relationship of True Value?

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“It is futile — one hundred percent, absolutely, positively futile — to seek love in relationship with anything or anyone.

It is, however, quite appropriate to extend Love in each relationship with everyone and everything. But the extension of that Love requires that you have awakened to the truth that the only relationship that truly holds value is the relationship between you as the soul and God as your Creator.

What Is the Only Relationship of True Value?

Perhaps my love affair with nature runs so deep because I see God everywhere, love wholeheartedly and ask nothing.
(Bear Creek Trail. Lakewood, Colorado)

When you have surrendered the last vestige of an insane possibility of contracting away from the Truth, when you have given that up, Love will flow through you. But notice that if it flows through you, it must first flow to you. Therefore, seek always to receive in order to give. For what can you give another if you have not yet received it to yourself?

Am I being busy extending love, or am I busying myself fearfully trying to grasp at what I think can give me love so that I do not lose it?”

– From “The Way of Mastery – Part One: The Way of the Heart,” Shanti Christo Foundation

Wow, so I’ve been deeply contemplating this for awhile. It feels true, and it brings into question all the relationships I love.

Here’s where I’m at today. When I know my Creator first, then I see the holiness, wholeness, in everything and everyone. When I “forget” to know my Creator first, then I’m making gods of the people and things I love.

What about you? If you’ve read this far, I’d love to know how this speaks to your heart.

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below . .

 

What If You Didn’t Hate to Sell?

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Right now, several of my clients are looking at how to sign up more clients.  They all feel challenged because they either hate to sell, wish they didn’t have to sell or both.  Maybe you can relate?

So, we’re looking at their love of deep meaningful conversation.  We’re coaching around how they love to know what’s really going on for potential clients.  We’re diving deep into how those people’s lives and businesses would change, even transform, if they hired my client.

So what about you?  If you reconsidered selling as a deep, meaningful conversation, what might shift for you?  If you realized that finding out what’s really going on for someone might be an opportunity to offer your help, how would that feel to you?

What If You Didn’t Hate to Sell?

Photo credit: Harli Marten on Unsplash.com

If you had these wonderful conversations with your whole focus on the other person and her world, might that help take your self-conscious focus off your feelings about “selling”?

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below . . .

2 Factors that Make a Strong Relationship

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I’m in the middle of reading a StrengthsFinder book, Strengths Based Marriage, by Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey.  The subtitle, Build a Stronger Relationship by Understanding Each Other’s Gifts, is an understatement.

2 Factors that Make a Strong Relationship

In my own relationships and in working with many couples around their relationships and each of their StrengthsFinder (now CliftonStrengths) strengths, I’ve found a profoundly deeper level of appreciation for our partners when we know and understand our own and our partner’s top strengths.

The two factors that naturally create strong relationships:
1.  Not taking differences personally.
2.  Noticing and championing the gifts of our partners’ strengths.

When my clients “Anna” and “Josh” learned their own and each others’ StrengthsFinder strengths, they immediately had far fewer arguments.  When I asked them exactly what had shifted, neither of them knew at first.  As we talked more, it became clear that they weren’t taking things personally anymore.

Both of them realized that the other wasn’t trying to hurt them, but rather they were naturally doing what their strengths guided them to do.  The more we talked and they came to understand the specifics of the others’ strengths, the more they appreciated the differences that the other brought to their partnership.

The second factor, after knowing our own and our partner’s StrengthsFinder strengths involves being willing to notice and champion the gifts, rather than the differences (which we often interpret as “wrong”) in both our own and our partners’ strengths.

For example, my partner has Deliberative in his top 5 strengths.  Deliberative makes decisions thoughtfully and carefully.  I have Activator in my top 5.  I jokingly call in my “dive in the pool and on the way down see if there’s any water” strength.

You can probably imagine if I hadn’t known our top 5 strengths, I would have thought my way of making decisions was right and his frustratingly wrong.

Because I did know our strengths, I deeply appreciated some decisions were far better made with his Deliberative in the mix.  I also had more patience than I would normally have had when he needed to think things through because I knew that was his process and he was good at making great decisions that way.

The more I work with individuals and couples around strengths, the more excited I get about facilitating far less misunderstandings and far greater respect and appreciation!

If you would love to give and receive more love, appreciation and understanding in your relationship, I have 2 openings in August for Strong Couple StrengthsFinder Coaching packages.

Get the details here:
http://annstrong.com/strong-couple-strengthsfinder-coaching/

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below . . .

Is Self-Love Actually Selfish?

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The first definition of “selfish” on Dictionary.com: devoted to or caring only for oneself. Reading this, a few questions come to mind for me.

What if we take out the “only?” Devoted to or caring for oneself. What if we look at it from the viewpoint that we are all One? Devoted to and caring for oneself is then, in fact, caring for All? What if we take out the idea of my self interest is more important than your self interest? What if it isn’t either/or?

And, maybe most importantly, if every single person on the planet were devoted to taking good care of themselves, how much might that reduce struggle, fighting and hate? If I tend my own garden, maybe I don’t have to judge yours?

Right now, several of my clients are devoted to taking better care of themselves. Coaching them has taken me to the next deeper and expanded level of my own self-love.

From that, this new piece came forward.

Is Self-Love Actually Selfish?

Beloved

I love loving me.

I love valuing and appreciating me.

I love delighting in and cherishing me.

I love showing myself I matter deeply.

I love hearing me, seeing me, understanding me.

I love attending to me.

I love devoting time to me.

I love noticing and affirming me.

I love championing me.

I love loving the entire Universe that is me.

I love loving the entire Universe as me.

I love loving me.

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below …

This Will Make You Get Your Business Back on Track Now

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If you don’t get your business running smoothly, which is worse, you not making the unique contribution you are here to make or your potential clients not getting the value of your unique contribution? Who wants to have to answer that question?!?

So here’s the thing.

When you can articulate with crystal clarity WHY you do what you do, your WHY will push, pull and drag you to resolve whatever’s in the way of your thriving business.

My WHY:
Inspiring and urging us to freedom
from our innocently self-created prisons
so that we may be more fully ourselves
and make our unique contributions to the planet.

Many of our self-created prisons were innocently created at a time of unresolved loss. Sometime when we were super young and felt abandoned, unloved or worthless. Other times, later in life around a break-up or a death.

If you’ve experienced a recent break-up, death or loss, that certainly doesn’t mean it’s unresolved. You’re grieving and have the opportunity even in the grief to find the good.

So what about you? Do you know, absolutely know, your business can be more, serve more?

If so, I’d love to offer you a Business Back on Track breakthrough session. There’s no charge for this session ~ it’s my gift. Click here now to book and apply.

We’ll get on the phone for 45 – 60 minutes and specifically look at where you are now and where you’d like to be.

If I feel you might be a great candidate for my brand new 10-week Business Back on Track by Receiving the Gift of Loss program, we can talk about that at the end of your session.

This Will Make You Get Your Business Back on Track Now

Because it isn’t for everyone.

I help business owners who:

  • Do extraordinary work, providing a needed service.
  • Approach life and work in a light, playful, open and deep way, even through broken-heartedness.
  • Are decisive and committed to their own transformation and making the greatest contribution of their business, while using updated technology like eGoldFax providing e-faxing services for their enterprise.

If you believe it’s possible to find the genuine gifts in challenge and/or loss and allow them to transform you and your business, then book and apply to be considered for one of the Business Back on Track breakthrough session.

As always, post your comments and experiences below …

Are You Struggling to Find the Genuine Gift in Grief?

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Last year my client, “Dianne,” felt optimistic and hopeful that her daughter-in-law Serena could take over her business when she retired. They’d been moving in that direction for a few months when she realized she’d been looking the other way about how much Serena seemed to be drinking.

When Serena had an altercation with one of Dianne’s key employees, she could no longer avoid the inevitable. She had to let Serena go. Dianne’s son, Tate, quit speaking to her and they wouldn’t allow her to spend time with her grandchildren.

Inconsolable for awhile, Dianne chose to coach with me because she knew she needed to get past feeling betrayed and wanted to be available to the business and her other children and grandchildren.

Today she’ll be the first to tell you she’s less judgmental. She prays for her son and daughter-in-law and their kids every day because she realizes it’s out of her hands. She’s re-energized about her work and is grooming one of her long-time employees to buy the business.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Four years ago, three days after I sold my house to live happily ever after with my boyfriend, we got into a physical fight. That had never happened. Stunned, bruised and broken-hearted, I stayed at a friend’s house and tried to get to the bottom of it with him.

We weren’t able to work it out between us. I found an apartment and began my own inner work. Over the next several months, I realized I had taken a stand for myself that day. I had been putting off my dream of living in New Mexico, waiting for him to be ready. Not the most elegant way to free myself from my self-created prison, but free myself I did.

It’s almost 3 years since I moved to New Mexico. After the first year of living here, my sister told me maybe I should change the recording on my voicemail that says, “You’ve reached my new home and office in beautiful, spacious Lamy, New Mexico . . .” I haven’t change it yet because every day here feels like a huge gift for my body, mind, heart and soul.

Are You Struggling to Find the Genuine Gift in Grief?
Beautiful, spacious Lamy, New Mexico

Why do I tell you all this?

If I hadn’t insisted on finding the gifts in all that grief, I would’ve remained broken and become bitter.

If Dianne hadn’t done the work in coaching, she would have remained a judgmental victim and allowed her business to fall apart.

So, what about you?

If you’ve experienced the loss of a dream, a business or personal relationship or of a loved one to death recently, would you be willing to consider finding the gifts in grief?

May all beings receive the transformative gifts of grief.

As always, post your comments and experiences below …

What is the Value of Detachment?

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Recently I realized I wanted to be more aware and mindful of detaching. In pondering what might support me in this process, I came up with a few core ideas, reminders.

In case they’re helpful to you, here they are!

I am beginning to recognize that detaching sets me free to love fully, unconditionally and without reservation.

What is the Value of Detachment?

My energy is open, moving and available and at the same time, still, spacious and deeply loving.

I allow EVERYTHING to pass through.

Nothing can stick to me unless I stick to it.

I am right here, right now, loving fully without needing things to be a certain way.

So what about you? What do you notice about yourself and attachment, detachment? Post your experiences below . . .

What Might Life Look Like Beyond Following the Rules

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“The laws of love are not rules, facts, or right answers. The laws of love bring spiritual freedom, the freedom that lies beyond belief, beyond thought, beyond adherence to any authority other than one’s own heart.”

– A Course of Love
Mari Perron, First Receiver

I’ve become increasingly aware that I’ve created many rules for my life because I’ve thought that following the rules would keep me safe.

Creating a new life in a new state, knowing no one when I first moved to New Mexico 2½ years ago has opened my eyes a bit.

A few of my rules for good living before New Mexico:

  • Don’t join groups. They don’t work for you. You are a one-on-one person.
  • Don’t ever buy a brand-new car. It’s a waste of money.
  • Don’t spend more than an hour on a first date. If it doesn’t go well, cut your losses. If it does go well, don’t let him know you like him too much.

Here’s what I’ve noticed since living in New Mexico.

First, it may seem like loosening my grip on my own rules isn’t related to New Mexico. Yet, I know it is because I followed my heart when I moved here.

Then I joined 3 groups: an Entrepreneurial Women’s Group, The Trusted Advisor’s Network and The Celebration church. I met almost all of my closest peeps through these groups.

Then, I started 3 new, smaller groups with 2 of the women I had met through the Trusted Advisor’s Network. A group of 5 women studying A Course of Love, a monthly Women’s Questioning Circle with 6 women and a Mindful Business Accelerator group of 7 women and men.

Sometimes the groups have been super challenging for me. And, I have grown so much! Also, I’ve formed wonderful, deep heart-connections with more people than I had in the past.

As for a new car, well, one day, after buying another used car only 5 months before, I had a new idea. It became okay, even if it was a waste of money, because I wanted to experience driving a new car and not focusing on repairs for awhile.

What Might Life Look Like Beyond Following the Rules
A new car for The Land of Enchantment!

I’ve had my new car for only 4 months and I’ve loved every minute! It hasn’t been earth-shattering. It just feels good to me. And, it feels fantastic to have done something different for myself. I’ll check back with you in a few years on this one.

Ah, those first dates . . . I’ve been on several. One lasted a half hour. Most lasted a couple of hours. The most recent one lasted a half day. All good choices.

What I learned by breaking that rule involved connecting with another human being rather than trying to assess “in” or “out” in record time so as to not “waste” my time.

So, what about you? What rules might you have created? Might you like to experiment with following your heart a bit more?

Tell us about it – post your thoughts and comments below . . .

Finally Coming to Know How to Be Grateful for All

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For years, well decades really, I’ve wondered how to be grateful when “bad” things happen. As I become more and more aware that I don’t have a clue what’s “bad” and what’s “good,” it’s slowly dawning on me that this is the doorway.

As I don’t so quickly push away “bad” things, I’m giving myself the opportunity to be with them, to be with everything – “good” and “bad.”

As I allow myself to simply be with things, rather than categorizing and exiling the “bad,” then I’m way more relaxed.

Apparently labeling and banishing has taken a whole lotta energy.

As I’m accepting more and judging less, I breathe deeper and feel grateful for that additional oxygen. With more oxygen circulating throughout me, it occurs to me that anything I refuse to accept literally takes life away from me.

Finally Coming to Know How to Be Grateful for All

As I accept more and more, I have more and more access to life, all life. I get to experience the sweetness in each moment, whether it’s the sweetness of joy, the sweetness of heartbreak or one of the infinite varieties of sweetness.

I am there, in the moment. Fully alive, fully available, fully accepting. Now that’s something to be fully grateful for!

For those of you in the US, Happy Thanksgiving.

For all of us, may we be fully grateful for all of it!

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming stress and overwhelm into clarity and purpose”)