2 Factors that Make a Strong Relationship

I’m in the middle of reading Strengths Based Marriage by Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey.  The subtitle, Build a Stronger Relationship by Understanding Each Other’s Gifts, is an understatement.

2 Factors that Make a Strong Relationship

In my own relationships and in working with many couples around their relationships and each of their StrengthsFinder strengths, I’ve found a profoundly deeper level of appreciation for our partners when we know and understand our own and our partner’s top strengths.

The two factors that naturally create strong relationships:
1.  Not taking differences personally.
2.  Noticing and championing the gifts of our partners’ strengths.

When my clients “Anna” and “Josh” learned their own and each others’ strengths, they immediately had far fewer arguments.  When I asked them exactly what had shifted, neither of them knew at first.  As we talked more, it became clear that they weren’t taking things personally anymore.

Both of them realized that the other wasn’t trying to hurt them, but rather they were naturally doing what their strengths guided them to do.  The more we talked and they came to understand the specifics of the others’ strengths, the more they appreciated the differences that the other brought to their partnership.

The second factor, after knowing our own and our partner’s strengths involves being willing to notice and champion the gifts, rather than the differences (which we often interpret as “wrong”) in both our own and our partners’ strengths.

For example, my partner has Deliberative in his top 5 strengths.  Deliberative makes decisions thoughtfully and carefully.  I have Activator in my top 5.  I jokingly call in my “dive in the pool and on the way down see if there’s any water” strength.

You can probably imagine if I hadn’t known our top 5 strengths, I would have thought my way of making decisions was right and his frustratingly wrong.

Because I did know our strengths, I deeply appreciated some decisions were far better made with his Deliberative in the mix.  I also had more patience than I would normally have had when he needed to think things through because I knew that was his process and he was good at making great decisions that way.

The more I work with individuals and couples around strengths, the more excited I get about facilitating far less misunderstandings and far greater respect and appreciation!

If you would love to give and receive more love, appreciation and understanding in your relationship, I have 2 openings in August for Strong Couple StrengthsFinder Coaching packages.

Get the details here:
http://annstrong.com/strong-couple-strengthsfinder-coaching/

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below . . .

What would you love to be freed from?

I’ve partnered with my new friend Jyoti, and I’m excited to share this timely opportunity with you!

I’d love to have you join us if you feel called.

Here’s how Jyoti describes our adventure .  . 

It is Time for a PURGE … RELEASE … LETTING GO … of ALL that is no longer Expanding, Serving, Inspiring, or Supporting us in Living Our Destiny …

Our Magnificent, Miraculous Life Purpose, Passion, and Power is Calling!

And, I have someone Amazing to Introduce You to today! (see below!) With an opportunity to Receive Our Deep Support in Permanent Release of all that must go … while OPENING to Miracles … and Joining in Community Together!

Ready to Release button

Okay … Vulnerable Share … by Jyoti

I have Rediscovered the Miraculous Art of Sacred Release along with the MIRACLES that FLOOD into Our Life when We act with Courage, Self Love and Self Devotion …

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Out of an URGENT Heart Calling to LIVE and THRIVE … I released/divorced/annulled the man I deeply wanted to BE my Precious ONE … I needed to do this to SAVE MY LIFE … Seriously!!! I will share the unbelievable story with You inside our Private Program. I Am Healing My Tender Heart … in Joyous Process of Releasing, And also Now … Letting go of all that has held me back, hurt me, limited what is possible for me, and kept me small, hindered, stuck, compromised … I am releasing things, people, ways of being, habits, and limitations in all areas of my Life! I am Gratefully and Joyously Recovering my Magical, Innocent, Miraculous Self!

We are also in the Middle of Moving from our Family Home of 6 Years … packing the essentials, discarding, releasing, giving away, refining, Completing … including the completion of an IRS Audit.

By Miraculous Divine Daughter Intervention … I met and began receiving so much Wonderful Grounding Support from My Dearest Ann Strong … So Powerful and Profound our connection and support for each other, we decided to Offer our Combined Support for You!

JOIN Us and We will Support and Miraculously Assist You (and even share tender video moments of Letting go) … as I, Jyoti, Open the Field for YOU to Fully Experience the MIRACLE, JOY and FREEDOM that emerges through the Miraculous Art of Sacred Release, While Ann Supports You in Grounding, Stabilizing, and Nurturing Your New Life!

Together … we can do this with Honor … in Sacred Support and Sacred Witness of Each Other in Letting go together! You are not alone in this … and as we Release … we Receive the Support of our Come-Unity of Love!

Let Go and Be FREED into All You have been holding at bay, and inaccessible with your grip on the old … (Hint … Its ABUNDANCE, LOVE, JOY, UNITY, SUPPORT, EXPANSION, BLISS, NEW LIFE! and more … )

Join with Us to Access the Miraculous Art of Effortless Release as we Dance Through Our Deepest Letting Go … while Making Space … Opening to Receive the Miracles, Love, Abundance, Support, Community, Alignment, and Expansion and Grounding Awaiting us Now!

There is only ONE thing in the way between You and the Miracle You Seek! Together we shall Love, Honor, and Release it Free!

Join Us?

Miracles Await!

In Love and Devotion to You and Your Best Life,

Jyoti Amma Sophia
Ann Strong

PS… We want to see your videos of Sacred Release too! … It’s part of our Program … we will have a Private Facebook Group to share and witness each other! Its only $444! And, You get a Community of Love and Support too!!

YES! I AM READY TO MASTER THE MIRACULOUS ART OF SACRED RELEASE NOW! and Join in a Community Who Loves and Supports Me!

Ready to Release button

Which of Your Friends Are Experiencing Loss and Grief?

It can be hard to know how to support someone through grief.  And, when you do offer support, it makes a HUGE difference to that person to know you care.

I’ve got two excellent resources here for you to share with them.

Which of Your Friends Are Experiencing Loss and Grief?

1. A comprehensive, super-helpful article, written by three compassionate mental health professionals:
Coping with Grief and Loss
Understanding the Grieving Process and Learning to Heal
By Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

It’s a bit long. And, it can easily be read in small chunks.

Click here to access article.

2. If your friend runs their own business, a Good Grief, Business Back on Track Clarity session with me – no cost, my gift.
I will help them get clear about receiving the good in grief which will point them toward how to keep their business running smoothly during this challenging time.

If they want further support from me, we can talk about that, too. If not, that’s totally cool also.

Click to schedule a session.

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below…

How to Love Putting Yourself Out There Even If You've Hated It Before

Most coaches, solopreneurs, entrepreneurs and small business owners hate marketing and sales. And, it doesn’t take long for them to no longer be in business.

The ones who stick with it and grow a thriving business realize that great marketing and sales isn’t about them, their company or their service. The same is true for you. Your super effective marketing and sales is not about you. Let me repeat that: it’s not about you.

When all of your marketing, sales and conversations with potential clients focuses on them – the potential clients – you may just find yourself having a great time.

Why did you start your business in the first place? What do you want, really want, for your clients? Why do they want what you have to offer? How does your service or product make their life better? Way better?

How to Love Putting Yourself Out There Even If You've Hated It Before

If you notice you’re talking about yourself, your training, your awards, your invention, your process, your program, your cool product or your excellent price point, stop yourself mid-sentence. Apologize. Then start over and ask them about their problem, needs, hopes and desires.

After you’ve had all potential client conversations that way for awhile, then let me know how you feel about marketing and sales . . .

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below …

Is Self-Love Actually Selfish?

The first definition of “selfish” on Dictionary.com: devoted to or caring only for oneself. Reading this, a few questions come to mind for me.

What if we take out the “only?” Devoted to or caring for oneself. What if we look at it from the viewpoint that we are all One? Devoted to and caring for oneself is then, in fact, caring for All? What if we take out the idea of my self interest is more important than your self interest? What if it isn’t either/or?

And, maybe most importantly, if every single person on the planet were devoted to taking good care of themselves, how much might that reduce struggle, fighting and hate? If I tend my own garden, maybe I don’t have to judge yours?

Right now, several of my clients are devoted to taking better care of themselves. Coaching them has taken me to the next deeper and expanded level of my own self-love.

From that, this new piece came forward.

Is Self-Love Actually Selfish?

Beloved

I love loving me.

I love valuing and appreciating me.

I love delighting in and cherishing me.

I love showing myself I matter deeply.

I love hearing me, seeing me, understanding me.

I love attending to me.

I love devoting time to me.

I love noticing and affirming me.

I love championing me.

I love loving the entire Universe that is me.

I love loving the entire Universe as me.

I love loving me.

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below …

This Will Make You Get Your Business Back on Track Now

If you don’t get your business running smoothly, which is worse, you not making the unique contribution you are here to make or your potential clients not getting the value of your unique contribution? Who wants to have to answer that question?!?

So here’s the thing.

When you can articulate with crystal clarity WHY you do what you do, your WHY will push, pull and drag you to resolve whatever’s in the way of your thriving business.

My WHY:
Inspiring and urging us to freedom
from our innocently self-created prisons
so that we may be more fully ourselves
and make our unique contributions to the planet.

Many of our self-created prisons were innocently created at a time of unresolved loss. Sometime when we were super young and felt abandoned, unloved or worthless. Other times, later in life around a break-up or a death.

If you’ve experienced a recent break-up, death or loss, that certainly doesn’t mean it’s unresolved. You’re grieving and have the opportunity even in the grief to find the good.

So what about you? Do you know, absolutely know, your business can be more, serve more?

If so, I’d love to offer you a Business Back on Track breakthrough session. There’s no charge for this session ~ it’s my gift. Click here now to book and apply.

We’ll get on the phone for 45 – 60 minutes and specifically look at where you are now and where you’d like to be.

If I feel you might be a great candidate for my brand new 10-week Business Back on Track by Receiving the Gift of Loss program, we can talk about that at the end of your session.

This Will Make You Get Your Business Back on Track Now

Because it isn’t for everyone.

I help business owners who:

  • Do extraordinary work, providing a needed service.
  • Approach life and work in a light, playful, open and deep way, even through broken-heartedness.
  • Are decisive and committed to their own transformation and making the greatest contribution of their business.

If you believe it’s possible to find the genuine gifts in challenge and/or loss and allow them to transform you and your business, then book and apply to be considered for one of the Business Back on Track breakthrough session.

As always, post your comments and experiences below …

What Happens When We Don’t Censor Ourselves?

Are you watching AnnE with an “E” on Netflix?

If so, I’d love to hear how you’re loving it . . .

If not and you’d like your heart broken wide open in the best possible way, I highly recommend you stop reading this and start watching AnnE now.

She is so refreshingly, sometimes painfully, uncensored. She experiences life in it’s full spectrum, from the delectably scrumptious to her blunt observation of her own “ugliness.”

AnnENetflix400

Thirteen-year-old, AnnE quotes Jane Eyre, “If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.”

Self-love 101. WOW.

I’ve watched 3 episodes and felt more alive and cried with every one. If you haven’t already, give yourself this gift.

Makes me want to add an E to my name.

As always, post your comments and experiences below…

If you’re a coach or consultant experiencing loss or turmoil, then join my new, private, free FB Group, Good Grief for hope around receiving the good in grief and support for getting your business back on track.

Are You Struggling to Find the Genuine Gift in Grief?

Last year my client, “Dianne,” felt optimistic and hopeful that her daughter-in-law Serena could take over her business when she retired. They’d been moving in that direction for a few months when she realized she’d been looking the other way about how much Serena seemed to be drinking.

When Serena had an altercation with one of Dianne’s key employees, she could no longer avoid the inevitable. She had to let Serena go. Dianne’s son, Tate, quit speaking to her and they wouldn’t allow her to spend time with her grandchildren.

Inconsolable for awhile, Dianne chose to coach with me because she knew she needed to get past feeling betrayed and wanted to be available to the business and her other children and grandchildren.

Today she’ll be the first to tell you she’s less judgmental. She prays for her son and daughter-in-law and their kids every day because she realizes it’s out of her hands. She’s re-energized about her work and is grooming one of her long-time employees to buy the business.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Four years ago, three days after I sold my house to live happily ever after with my boyfriend, we got into a physical fight. That had never happened. Stunned, bruised and broken-hearted, I stayed at a friend’s house and tried to get to the bottom of it with him.

We weren’t able to work it out between us. I found an apartment and began my own inner work. Over the next several months, I realized I had taken a stand for myself that day. I had been putting off my dream of living in New Mexico, waiting for him to be ready. Not the most elegant way to free myself from my self-created prison, but free myself I did.

It’s almost 3 years since I moved to New Mexico. After the first year of living here, my sister told me maybe I should change the recording on my voicemail that says, “You’ve reached my new home and office in beautiful, spacious Lamy, New Mexico . . .” I haven’t change it yet because every day here feels like a huge gift for my body, mind, heart and soul.

Are You Struggling to Find the Genuine Gift in Grief?
Beautiful, spacious Lamy, New Mexico

Why do I tell you all this?

If I hadn’t insisted on finding the gifts in all that grief, I would’ve remained broken and become bitter.

If Dianne hadn’t done the work in coaching, she would have remained a judgmental victim and allowed her business to fall apart.

So, what about you?

If you’ve experienced the loss of a dream, a business or personal relationship or of a loved one to death in the last two years, I’ve set aside some time in my schedule in the week to talk with a few business owners who are committed to finding the huge gift in grief.

If that’s you, I’d love to offer you a Grief, Loss and Business Clarity session. There’s no charge for this session ~ it’s my gift. Click here now to book and apply.

We’ll get on the phone for 45 – 60 minutes and specifically look at where you are now and where you’d like to be.

If I feel you might be a great candidate for my brand new 10-week Strong from Within program, we can talk about that at the end of your session.

Because it isn’t for everyone.

I help business owners who:

  • Do extraordinary work, providing a needed service.
  • Approach life and work in a light, playful, open and deep way, even through broken-heartedness.
  • Are decisive and committed to their own transformation and making the greatest contribution of their business.

If you believe it’s possible to find the genuine gifts in grief and allow them to transform you and your business, then book and apply to be considered for one of the Business Back on Track through Grief and Loss breakthrough sessions.

May all beings receive the transformative gifts of grief.

As always, post your comments and experiences below …

What Happens If You Allow Your WHYs to Guide You?

One of my clients recently became completely overwhelmed studying for an exam for a professional certification. To support her in being present with her studying, I asked her why it’s important for her to pass this exam.

Over the phone, I heard her lighten up as she answered, “I get to help my clients in a new way and I’ll make more money with this added service.” “Why is it important to make more money?” “Because when we start a family in a couple of years, if I make more money now, I can work less then.”

“So, as you’re studying and you notice you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, can you take a deep breath, remember why you’re doing this and then get back to it?” She laughed. “Of course. I feel better already.”

For me, most years at this time of year, I have to firmly remind myself why I’m going to focus on activities I love in the summer. There aren’t many of them because summer is my least favorite season. Tomorrow when I’m enjoying dinner on a restaurant patio with a friend to celebrate her birthday, I will remember I eat lots of summer meals on the patio because I am unwilling to be miserable for 25% of each year!

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My 16-year-old niece, Hailey, and I enjoying our latte and white mocha on the patio of my favorite San Diego coffee shop, 99 Cups in Pacific Beach. YAY patios!!!

So what about you? What’s challenging you right now? What is your WHY? Does that help you move forward in a way that feels better to you? Post your experiences below . . .

What is the Value of Detachment?

Recently I realized I wanted to be more aware and mindful of detaching. In pondering what might support me in this process, I came up with a few core ideas, reminders.

In case they’re helpful to you, here they are!

I am beginning to recognize that detaching sets me free to love fully, unconditionally and without reservation.

What is the Value of Detachment?

My energy is open, moving and available and at the same time, still, spacious and deeply loving.

I allow EVERYTHING to pass through.

Nothing can stick to me unless I stick to it.

I am right here, right now, loving fully without needing things to be a certain way.

So what about you? What do you notice about yourself and attachment, detachment? Post your experiences below . . .


Ann Strong, founder of Strong from Within and Thriving Coaches.

Author of Thriving Work.


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