Recently, I wished I’d been more patient during a personal conversation. The next day, one of my clients wished she’d handled a client situation better.
Those two scenarios made me realize why so many coaches tell me they aren’t sure if they’ll coach well enough or if they have enough confidence to really help clients.
Which took me back to a confidence-building conversation with my former coach Stephen McGhee. He helped me coach so much more boldly when he told me that when I thought I had messed up with a client, that I had also created the opportunity to make the relationship even stronger by repairing it really well. He planted the seed for me that we could have a better relationship after I cleaned up my “mistake.”
I have had the opportunity several times since that conversation with Stephen to make stronger relationships a reality! 🙂
So, what does it look like to clean up the mess and make the relationship better?
Start with a clear commitment. What is your commitment in this situation? If we are committed to looking good, saving face, covering up, glossing over or giving excuses, we make the situation worse. If we lash out or blame the other person, we may severely damage the relationship.
So, how about a commitment to honesty, transparency, empathy and intimacy in a conversation to create a stronger relationship?
Once you become solid in your commitment, the specifics of how you clean up the “mess” will naturally come to you. As you choose what to say, you simply ask yourself, “does this serve taking care of my ego or am I being honest and transparent about my part? Am I listening with empathy or just waiting for my turn? Am I creating intimacy or defending my side?”
Once you experientially know that you can create a stronger relationship even when you mess up, you will have a greater confidence to invite people to coach with you and to brilliantly coach them through even the toughest situation.
If you’d like more in-depth work with creating empowering commitments, read my new book, Thriving Work: 90 days of daily practice for transforming you and your coaching, consulting or healing business.