April, 2015 | Ann Strong

What if New Energy Easily Dissolves the Need to Control?

October 1, 2015April 29, 2015 by Ann Strong

Recently, I facilitated a StrengthsFinder workshop with less than 24 hours notice, stepping in for a sick colleague. Because there was no time to jump on a plane, the 16 participants gathered in a room in San Diego and I was teleconferenced into the room from Santa Fe.

I worked with a wonderful support facilitator, Rachel, who was in the room in San Diego. She was also an amazing conferencing engineer.

Our strengths couldn’t have been more complimentary. All of her top 5 strengths are tasks strengths – executing and strategic thinking strengths. My top 5 are all people strengths – relationship building and influencing.

We had several huge tech problems in our run-through and Rachel got us through every one with ease and humor. So many things were out of my control – very little time to prepare, rescheduling work that I had planned for that day, all the various ways technology misbehaves and the list goes on . . .

I could feel myself trying to control my feelings, “Don’t get upset. Don’t worry. Be positive.” Internally, I could hear myself trying to control my behavior, “Smile more. Keep pushing through. Rearrange your schedule this particular way. Trust.”

In a moment of grace and insight, I let it all go. I recognized that I had this wonderful opportunity to introduce 16 people to their own strengths. This is one of my greatest joys. I became present to the purpose of what we were doing and let the details work themselves out.

I saw how often my need to control actually keeps me from being present and enjoying life. Somehow this awareness helped me relax.

Ahhh, to boldly put your little face to the sun, not
2 inches off the ground in the middle of a hiking trail!
That’s being willing to relax without needing to control . . .

From my new relaxed energy, all my work easily rescheduled. Rachel worked out all the bugs in the run-through and the technical aspects of the actual workshop went smoothly.

I have facilitated both teleconferences and in-person workshops. This was my first experience of the hybrid of teleconference and in-person. I never did figure out how to “get into the room” more. I definitely felt a barrier between me up there on the big monitor and all of them in the room.

I wanted less of a barrier so that they could get more from the workshop. There I was trying to control again . . . So once again, I let it go. I held a clear intention that they would receive huge value, I did all I could do toward that end and I let the rest go.

When I drop needing to control, it creates a wonderful spaciousness. I could then be present with them (even if I was 850 miles away) and work my magic.

I would love your thoughts and experiences.

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How Do We Allow Ourselves to Receive Without Feeling Like a Taker?

October 23, 2015April 23, 2015 by Ann Strong

Two of my coaching clients are working on receiving more. They’ve been life-long givers and prone to burnout as we talked about in last week’s Strong Notes. Recently one of them shared with me that she doesn’t easily receive because then she feels like a taker.

As I often do when I’m digging deep with a human issue, I went to the dictionary. The first definition of receive, “to take into one’s possession (something offered or delivered): to receive many gifts.” No wonder she felt like a taker. According to the dictionary, she was a taker.

So what does the dictionary say about taking? First definition, “to get into one’s hold or possession by voluntary action: to take a pen and begin to write.” What caught my attention was “voluntary action.” We often tend to associate taking with extracting, taking something from someone against their will.

So, what if we drop all the thinking and judging? What if we don’t label taking as bad? What if we are present in the moment and fully receive whatever is given? What if we take in the present moment and whatever it gives us?

Ahhhhhh, to take in the glory of this sunset! What
would it take to allow ourselves to be takers?

What if we take in all life has to offer and no one else goes without? WHAT IF taking is the same beautiful act of love as giving?!?

Post your comments and insights below.

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on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
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How to Stay Out of Burnout as a Giver

October 23, 2015April 14, 2015 by Ann Strong

I’ve had some tendency toward giving to the point of resentment. And, some of my coaching clients have had tendencies to give to the point of depletion and depression.

So, I’ve had this inquiry for awhile: what does it take to give in a healthy way? When I’ve been in lower moods, it comes out something like: “if I give tons to everyone else, who will give to me?” Just the other day, I was shocked to actually receive an answer to that question asked in frustration.

Me. I will give to me.

Let me explain. Until that answer came, I believed there were givers and takers. And, they tended to pair up. What better for a taker than someone with lots to give?

Well, what if that whole model is only one way to look at it?

What do these glorious clouds have to share
with us about vibrant living?

What if I live my life as a giver and I am one of the people I give to? Maybe I am the first person I give to (so that I’m giving from an overflowing cup)?

What might shift inside me so that I am not an energetic match for takers? What if my world view and focus is around giving? What if I am an energetic match for givers?

I do not yet know the answers to all these questions. I do love the questions! And, I do know that me giving to me instead of resentfully wondering who is going to give to me is definitely a wonderful way to live. And it’s a great way to avoid burnout and resentment.

I will report back to you as I know more. In the meantime, what about you? If you’ve noticed yourself depleting yourself by giving to everyone else, what have you done to avoid burnout?

Post your comments and insights below.

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How to Be More Present, Experiencing Your Awesome Life

October 1, 2015April 2, 2015 by Ann Strong

“The present moment is filled with joy and happiness. If you are attentive, you will see it.”
-Thich Nhat Hanh
From the book, Peace Is Every Step

Allergies caught me off-guard a few weeks ago. Turns out that Junipers are a big culprit in wonderful Santa Fe.

Well, in the past when I lived in Denver, ragweed allergies consumed many of my autumn seasons. I could barely take in the glory of the changing leaves because I was so busy praying for frost. A hard frost that would kill anything that was bothering me.

This year, I wasn’t willing to give my spring to allergies. So, I started taking three homeopathic remedies from Whole Foods.

More importantly, I decided to become really present to Junipers. I had spent decades afraid of ragweed. To this day, I’m not sure what ragweed looks like! Crazy.

The good news about Junipers: I know exactly what they look like. They grow everywhere here. They surround my casita and grow prolifically both in town and along all my walking trails.

Out of my sheer stubbornness, I decided to befriend Junipers, become One with Junipers and refused to resist Junipers.

I am Juniper. We aren’t the most beautiful tree on the planet, but we
do grow like crazy! I am being present as Juniper and with Juniper in
my big, beautiful backyard, the Galisteo Basin Preserve. Why would I
ever want to resist Junipers and miss the glory of this full moon?!?

I truly believe we all (you, me and Junipers) are One. Therefore, I am Juniper.

And you know, a strange and wonderful thing has happened. I still have some allergy symptoms AND I am loving spring here. The more present I am, even with circumstances I would prefer to be different, the more I’m experiencing my awesome life.

So, what about you? How can you become more present to all of your life – the good, the bad, the ugly? What I’ve noticed, when I am willing to be present with what I think is bad and ugly, my experience of life becomes beautiful . . .

Post your comments and insights below.

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order