February, 2015 | Ann Strong

There I was walking my talk. Like a great coach. And then I fell in that same hole – again.

Let me back up to the beginning.

I had been in a low mood for a day and a half. For a couple of weeks before that, I had made several invitations to people I would love to coach. All of them had said “no.”

I then attributed my low mood to “nobody wanting coaching.” That’s the moment I fell in the hole. But I didn’t realize it at the time.

My mood got lower and lower. I felt disoriented and couldn’t focus. Talking with my own coach barely helped. That’s when I knew something was way off, but I still had no idea what it was.

I looked for reasons that my mood was going lower and lower. I knew better than that. I knew that the best way to deal with a low mood involves being graceful with myself and allowing it to pass. I knew better than to engage with it.

I knew better than second-guessing why I got a bunch of “no’s.” I know that no means “next.” In this particular time, I had a bit of amnesia – forgetting all that I know from selling my entire life.

Bless my coach. She was not going to leave me in this place. She sent me a snippet of a video that reminded me about my own power in my ability to choose and my ability to believe.

I immediately, beam-me-up-Scotty style, ascended from that hole. I had given away my power to choose and my power to believe. I flew out of the hole when I realized I could choose and believe again with that very breath.

Oh my God, how can I more consistently remember that I write the story of my life? I’m not in charge of when others say “yes” or “no.” I am in charge of remembering that my life is created from what I think about my life, not what happens “out there.”

Thank goodness for this profession of coaching. A sane, firm, persistent and loving voice when in a moment, I’d gone a bit off the rails . . .

What about you? How do you bring yourself back to remembering the truth of who you are when you forget a little bit?

I’d love to hear from you.

Post your comments and insights below.

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My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

“Why is it so hard for me to put myself out there? I don’t feel insecure, but I guess I also don’t feel confident.”

Recently this was the coaching session agenda of one of my clients who is a new coach. He already has several clients and serves them beautifully. And his inquiry is almost universal. Even with gifted and experienced coaches, healers, artists, professionals.

This particular kind of question tends to lead us quite quickly to something like, “What’s wrong with me?” Since that kind of inquiry doesn’t tend to be helpful, let’s replace it with a much more empowering focus and question. Whenever I notice I am feeling self-conscious in my work, I use that as my cue to shift my focus off of me and onto the client.

What happens when we take our focus off ourselves
and put our full attention on the person in front of us?

I have my own daily morning practice around self-love, self-acceptance, self-attention, self-honoring, self-appreciation and self-allowing. I spend time being with myself no matter how I’m feeling or what I am thinking. Therefore, when I’m working, I know that I am already taken care of and now it is time to put my full attention on the person in front of me.

So, we shift our focus off of ourselves and onto the client. Our new, more empowering question can then sound something like, “How can I fully serve this person in front of me right now?”

We often tend to equate “putting ourselves out there” with marketing or sales. Then, we tend to make marketing and sales way different than working with our clients.

What if there was no difference? What if marketing and sales is literally the same as working with our clients?

Let’s look at that a bit more closely.

What if we approached “putting ourselves out there” exactly the same way as serving a paying client? What if we had the same fierce devotion and attention that we have for our clients for our website visitors, our audiences, our readers, our FB friends, our Twitter followers, the person next to us at a networking event?

How might our self-consciousness around “putting ourselves out there” transform?

I would love to hear your story!

Post your comments and insights below.

==========================

My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

Creator/Owner Mindset: I Can’t Believe I Fell into this Hole

Creator/Owner Mindset: ‘Why Is It Hard for Me to Put Myself Out There?’