Recently while working with a coaching client, he described his behavior in a particular situation and then asked me, “Is that normal?” What he really wanted to know, what we all want to know, “Am I okay? Compared to everyone else, do I fit in? Am I doing it right? Do I have value?”
While the questions are common, no answers will serve us. If the answers are primarily “no,” then we are “wrong.” If they’re primarily “yes,” we won’t believe them or we’ll believe them temporarily until the next time we feel compelled to ask for affirmation yet again.
Looking for external validation will never get us to where we want to go. As we come to accept, embrace and know our unique and perfectly imperfect humanness AND our Oneness in our Divinity, we will no longer seek approval or validation.
What is “normal” in my unique human expression looks nothing like what is “normal” in yours. You and I can be experiencing the exact same event, conversation or circumstance and we still have two separate realities based on our own perceptions and thoughts.
Then, when any of us experience something through our Divinity, the question of “normal” doesn’t even exist.
So, what might we ask ourselves instead? Right now, I’m asking myself, “How have I loved and what have I shared today?”
What about you? What’s meaningful for you to ask yourself?
(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)
