Dear One, There Is Nothing Wrong with You

In the last week, three clients shared with me that they thought there was something wrong with them.

One woman thought she was depressed when she had simply lost sight of her purpose and mission. Another thought she was greedy for receiving a loan for her business. In fact, she was simply taking care of herself and her business. And, yet another kept getting upset with herself for not making more money in the past few months. She’s now developing a lower priced product that fits better for this new economy.

I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with them and there is nothing wrong with you. We are living in a radical new normal. And we still have the power to choose where we put our focus.

If you notice your thoughts tending toward, “There must be something wrong with me,” then close your eyes and take a deep breath. Now take another deep breath.

What can you focus on now that would be more life-affirming for you? Who can you connect with to bring some brightness to both your days? What can you do to take better care of yourself?

And please know that regardless of what you think about yourself, there is nothing wrong with you. You’re human. As a human, you are allowed to think less than helpful thoughts without believing the thoughts.

Dear One, There Is Nothing Wrong with You







When you witness those thoughts that you’re thinking, you might also notice that there are two of you. The human you who is thinking the thoughts and the Divine you who is holding you and witnessing the thoughts.

There truly is nothing wrong with you.

How Are You a Messenger of Love?

My Valentine’s gift this year opened my heart wider – to the glory of God. And, my sweetie and I shared that amazing experience. We both wondered if we were too old for an indoor arena concert, but choose to go see TobyMac live anyway!

It was crazy loud. And complete overstimulation for me. Quite surprisingly, it didn’t matter.

Somehow, I surrendered to that deafening noise and powerhouse energy. It broke me open, reminding me to the depths of my being that the Love and Oneness of God is my foundation and that I am a priestess.

I thought I was going to hear fantastic, uplifting music. Turns out that fantastic, uplifting music called forth more of who I am.

How Are You a Messenger of Love?

TobyMac, Mandisa and Ryan Stevenson

TobyMac himself inspired me by asking us to pray for him – that more songs may come though him that reach people. Indeed, we need more messengers of Love.

I have prayed for him. And I pray for you and me. That we may each serve more fully as the unique messenger of Love that we are.

Thank you TobyMac for being a powerful, and loud, messenger of Love!

Join the conversation – post your insights, feedback and experiences below.

How You Think About Life Quickly Becomes Your Life

“How you respond to life is your life.”
– Tama Kieves
From her new book, “Thriving Through Uncertainty: Moving Beyond Fear and Making Change Work for You”

Oh my goodness, take that in.

It’s so easy to imagine that if I change my circumstances, I’ll have a better life.

I did the research on this one when I moved from Denver to Lamy, New Mexico three years ago.  I do love living in a magical casita surrounded by open land and open sky.  And, I still have bad moods when things don’t go how I think they “should.”

When I’m able to respond by allowing things to be as they are, then my life feels great regardless of where I’m living or any other circumstances.

When I’m spending time in Denver and sitting in traffic, I can choose to respond by becoming present and Zen and flowing as traffic is or isn’t flowing.  When I rail against “idiot drivers,” I create a not-so-good life for myself.

Same circumstances: sitting in Denver traffic.  Two different lives by my response to life.

Is the answer to never go to Denver again?  Of course not.  Then I would simply have more time to focus on all the “idiot hikers” in the beautiful New Mexico open space who let their dogs run loose and jump on me.

Thriving Through Uncertainty: Moving Beyond Fear and Making Change Work for You by Tama Kieves

Tama has written a brilliant, inspiring, heart-warming book championing our oh-so-human experience and calling us to become more aware of how we can thrive anyway.

Love yourself – read her book.

Join the conversation ~ post your insights, feedback and experiences below.

This Will Make You Get Your Business Back on Track Now

If you don’t get your business running smoothly, which is worse, you not making the unique contribution you are here to make or your potential clients not getting the value of your unique contribution? Who wants to have to answer that question?!?

So here’s the thing.

When you can articulate with crystal clarity WHY you do what you do, your WHY will push, pull and drag you to resolve whatever’s in the way of your thriving business.

Inspiring and urging us to freedom
from our innocently self-created prisons
so that we may be more fully ourselves
and make our unique contributions to the planet.

Many of our self-created prisons were innocently created at a time of unresolved loss. Sometime when we were super young and felt abandoned, unloved or worthless. Other times, later in life around a break-up or a death.

If you’ve experienced a recent break-up, death or loss, that certainly doesn’t mean it’s unresolved. You’re grieving and have the opportunity even in the grief to find the good.

So what about you? Do you know, absolutely know, your business can be more, serve more?

If so, I’d love to offer you a Business Back on Track breakthrough session. There’s no charge for this session ~ it’s my gift. Click here now to book and apply.

We’ll get on the phone for 45 – 60 minutes and specifically look at where you are now and where you’d like to be.

If I feel you might be a great candidate for my brand new 10-week Business Back on Track by Receiving the Gift of Loss program, we can talk about that at the end of your session.

This Will Make You Get Your Business Back on Track Now

Because it isn’t for everyone.

I help business owners who:

  • Do extraordinary work, providing a needed service.
  • Approach life and work in a light, playful, open and deep way, even through broken-heartedness.
  • Are decisive and committed to their own transformation and making the greatest contribution of their business, while using updated technology like eGoldFax providing e-faxing services for their enterprise.

If you believe it’s possible to find the genuine gifts in challenge and/or loss and allow them to transform you and your business, then book and apply to be considered for one of the Business Back on Track breakthrough session.

As always, post your comments and experiences below …

Are You Struggling to Find the Genuine Gift in Grief?

Last year my client, “Dianne,” felt optimistic and hopeful that her daughter-in-law Serena could take over her business when she retired. They’d been moving in that direction for a few months when she realized she’d been looking the other way about how much Serena seemed to be drinking.

When Serena had an altercation with one of Dianne’s key employees, she could no longer avoid the inevitable. She had to let Serena go. Dianne’s son, Tate, quit speaking to her and they wouldn’t allow her to spend time with her grandchildren.

Inconsolable for awhile, Dianne chose to coach with me because she knew she needed to get past feeling betrayed and wanted to be available to the business and her other children and grandchildren.

Today she’ll be the first to tell you she’s less judgmental. She prays for her son and daughter-in-law and their kids every day because she realizes it’s out of her hands. She’s re-energized about her work and is grooming one of her long-time employees to buy the business.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Four years ago, three days after I sold my house to live happily ever after with my boyfriend, we got into a physical fight. That had never happened. Stunned, bruised and broken-hearted, I stayed at a friend’s house and tried to get to the bottom of it with him.

We weren’t able to work it out between us. I found an apartment and began my own inner work. Over the next several months, I realized I had taken a stand for myself that day. I had been putting off my dream of living in New Mexico, waiting for him to be ready. Not the most elegant way to free myself from my self-created prison, but free myself I did.

It’s almost 3 years since I moved to New Mexico. After the first year of living here, my sister told me maybe I should change the recording on my voicemail that says, “You’ve reached my new home and office in beautiful, spacious Lamy, New Mexico . . .” I haven’t change it yet because every day here feels like a huge gift for my body, mind, heart and soul.

Are You Struggling to Find the Genuine Gift in Grief?
Beautiful, spacious Lamy, New Mexico

Why do I tell you all this?

If I hadn’t insisted on finding the gifts in all that grief, I would’ve remained broken and become bitter.

If Dianne hadn’t done the work in coaching, she would have remained a judgmental victim and allowed her business to fall apart.

So, what about you?

If you’ve experienced the loss of a dream, a business or personal relationship or of a loved one to death recently, would you be willing to consider finding the gifts in grief?

May all beings receive the transformative gifts of grief.

As always, post your comments and experiences below …

What’s the Extraordinary Value of a Focus for the New Year?

In addition to, or sometimes instead of, helping my clients set goals for the new year, I also help them discover their theme to focus on for the year. They often receive the theme “out of the blue.”

This is what gives the focus/theme extraordinary value. Instead of methodically and intellectually determining our goals, we intuitively and mysteriously receive our focus/theme. It gives us a very broad and deep approach to our own growth and development.

One of my clients received Listening as her focus for the new year. Another client’s focus is Being Her Own Best Friend. Mine is Seeing Anew.

What’s the Extraordinary Value of a Focus for the New Year?

I received mine on the eve of the Solstice. One of the things I’ve noticed since then is how habitually I think I know what it is I’m seeing. I love that I’m already beginning to naturally ask myself, “What is really here? What else can I see? When I look through my Eyes of Love, my Christ Eyes, what do I see?”

So what about you? Did a focus or theme come to you as you were reading this? Did you already know yours? If not, are you willing to receive yours?

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

What Is the Best Way to Easily Sign More Clients?

Shift your focus.

Inevitably, when I get into the nitty gritty with one of my clients about what’s in the way of them signing new clients, the root of the issue is some variation of self-focus and self-consciousness.

I hear things like:
“I don’t like to ask them to become a client.”
“If they want to hire me, they’ll ask me.”
“I’m not good at sales.”
“I don’t want to ask them to pay now because their first session isn’t until Thursday.”
“I don’t have my website up yet.”

Where is the focus? I, me, my concerns, my ideas.

What Is the Best Way to Easily Sign More Clients?

As the sun does not concern itself with whether or not it feels like rising today, so too can we show up and serve without concern about nonsensical internal chatter.
(Photo credit: Eric Saltmarsh, Eldorado at Santa Fe)

What if we shift the focus of ourselves and onto the potential client?

Why might the client need us to ask them to become a client? Because change is scary. They are hiring us to support them in making changes. What happens if we start supporting them now by asking them to become a client so they can receive support throughout the change process?

What happens for the client if we wait for them to ask to become a client? They find many clever ways to procrastinate, forget, resist and wander away from the very changes they would love to make.

What if you quit thinking about how good or not good you are at sales and instead put your focus on serving the client? Would it serve them to sign up with you now? Then sign them up.

If the person in front of you has told you they want to become a client and scheduled their first session for Thursday, then have them seal their commitment to themselves by having them pay now.

A client is not signed up until they pay. No exceptions.

And, if they aren’t signed up, they’ll find many reasons to change their mind about meeting Thursday. Take that fretting of the table for them. Now.

And, what does having your website up have to do with your clients’ needs? If someone is in front of you now, ready to change, sign them up. Whether you have a website or went for your walk this morning.

If you would love to serve more clients and make more money in the process, then take your focus off yourself. Put your focus on the needs and concerns of the people in front of you. Be prepared to be amazed by how many new clients you sign!

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

How to Free Ourselves from Innocently Self-Created Prisons

Last week I posed the question, “Do we need to know our purpose to be happy?”

This week, I had planned on sharing the process of learning my own purpose. In light of the controversial sentencing in the Stanford rape case and the tragedy in Orlando, it feels more relevant to share how my purpose might relieve some suffering.


My purpose: Inspiring and urging us to freedom from our innocently self-created prisons so that we may be more fully ourselves and make our unique contribution to the planet.

Let’s back up for a moment. What is an innocently self-created prison? Our own thinking that causes our own suffering.

Maybe we are hating the “haters.” Maybe we feel victimized. Maybe we engage in us and them thinking. Maybe we feel less than. Or hopeless. And, the list goes on . . .

I found it heart-wrenching to read the long letter from the survivor in the rape case. And, I read the whole letter because I wanted to bear witness to this courageous young woman stepping out of the victim prison into making a unique, impactful contribution to the planet.

What innocently self-created prisons might you notice you’ve created this week?

I faced this question head-on in 1994 when my 25-year-old boyfriend died of a morphine overdose by his own hand. My shock and grief was so intense that I wished I had died with him.

At one point fairly early in my grief, I had a clear and lucid moment in which I knew that his death would either take me under or make me stronger. I consciously chose life.

I recognized I could bring to the planet something from him. In thinking about his greatest attributes, I realized that he was the most unconditionally loving person I knew. I decided in that moment to be more loving myself from that day forward.

Today, I recognize that love is needed in both these tragedies.

It would be so easy to judge, blame and make wrong. And, it’s almost as easy to see the self-created prisons that led to these crimes. It’s also probably easier to focus on outrage than it is to step out of a self-created righteous prison to make our own unique contribution right now . . .

Do You Need to Know Your Purpose to Be Happy?

It turns out you probably do need to know your purpose to be happy.

In an informal survey of fellow Yale graduates at their 25th class reunion, Adam Leipzig, a former Disney Executive and currently the CEO of Entertainment Media Partners, discovered that 80% of his classmates were unhappy with their lives. 80%?!?

I decided to do a bit more research. Maybe those privileged Yale grads were an anomaly.

The Harris Happiness Index surveyed 2,345 American adults in April 2013 to find that 1 in 3 Americans considers themselves very happy. In 2011 – 2012, Gallup found that worldwide only 13% of employees are engaged at work. In the US, the number was higher at 32%.

So these stats leaned a bit more toward happiness, but not much.

Here’s where it gets interesting. What Adam Leipzig further discovered: the 20% who were happy knew something about their purpose.

He believes you can learn your life purpose in 5 minutes and he takes you through the process in his TedxMalibu Talk.

I don’t know if that 5-minute process would work for me because I had already learned my WHY in 2013 through Simon Sinek’s, Learn Your Why online course.

That process takes 7 – 10 hours, the course costs $129 and you need your coach or a colleague to guide you through the process. And, having my WHY articulated has been life changing for me. It serves as a compass and daily decision-maker for me.

If you’d like to know more about Simon’s process, start with his Ted Talk.

Before I listened to Adam’s talk, I had never linked happiness and knowing my purpose. As I look at my own life and the lives of my coaching clients and students, I see that there is a very real link. When we are in a low place, our purpose guides us out. When we are feeling most fulfilled, we are more fully living our purpose.

So what about you? Do you have a sense of your purpose? If so, I’d love to hear about it . . . If not, do you suspect you’d be happier if you did know?