dissolving stress

Shifting the Focus from Anxiety to Opportunity

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In every crisis there is danger and opportunity.

Recently I realized that I was more focused on the danger and perceived danger of this world crisis. I know you, too, might be feeling anxious and not sure of how to proceed – in your life or in your business.

I’d like to share a super cool tool with you. Thank goodness that as a coach, I have powerful tools to shift my perspective. One of my favorites is the Perspective Pie. Wanna play?

Okay, pull out a blank sheet of paper and draw a circle, filling the page with that big circle as much as you can. Then divide your circle into 8 slices of pie.

In one of those slices, write your current perspective. Mine was something like, “No one can focus on or afford coaching right now.” Then in the next slice, write a slightly better perspective. “Well I’m still working with clients. Some people still want coaching.”

Then write another somewhat better perspective. And better, and better and better until all 8 slices have new perspectives. My final slice was, “Coaching helps people uncover their opportunities. I need to be of more service now.”

So, I’d love to offer you a gift coaching session to help you uncover your current opportunities. We can focus on your life, your business or both.

Click here to access my calendar to schedule.

How to Solve Any Problem with One Powerful Question

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“This problem needs solving.” “I hate this situation.” I heard each of these from clients recently. “I’m at an impasse.” I heard this coming from my own mouth when I called my coach.

With each of them, we explored one question:
Who do you need to be to resolve this?

The first client realized she needed to be someone who got involved now to do something toward stopping the separation of children from their parents.

With the second client, she realized she needed to step into her power, state clearly and calmly what she wanted and needed and be willing to walk away if that wasn’t possible.

For me, I realized I needed to be the one to have compassion and empathy for the woman with whom I was at an impasse. After being stalled for days, within hours, we moved past the impasse. And her demeanor completely changed for the rest of our interactions.

How To Solve Any Problem with One Powerful Question

When I’m feeling anxious, I know I need to be the one who is more Zen cat-like. Pebbles is one of my 3 wonderful, resident feline teachers. Yay, kitty prayer pose!

So, what about you? What needs to be resolved in your world? Would you like to work with more clients? Sleep better at night? Finish writing a book? Feel more peaceful? Hopeful?

Who do you need to be?

I’d love to hear from you. What would you love to resolve?
Who do you need to be?

Join the conversation ~ comment below.

Your Greatness As Me

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Dear God, free me from
Anything that blocks me
From believing in Your Greatness
That flows through me.
As me.

Show me how to know You,
As me,
With every breath I take.

Regardless of circumstances.

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Through the toughest storms,
During moments of Pure Grace,
And everything in between.

Show me how to experience unceasingly
Your Peace, Your Love, Your Abundance.

Show me how to express unceasingly
Your Peace, Your Love, Your Abundance.

Show me how to share unceasingly
Your Peace, Your Love, Your Abundance.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
I surrender this to You.
I know it is done.

Join the conversation – post your insights, feedback and experiences below.

Where Is the Super Effective Inner Peace Reset Button?

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Overwhelm seems to be affecting most people. I see it in my clients, with my friends, on FB posts and in myself! To support my clients (including my first client – me), I’ve been paying attention to what’s most effective in giving us some relief.

For me, it’s definitely a good night’s sleep. Luckily, I sleep well 90% of the time. And, when I wake up and start my day, I can address anything. My mind is clear and sharp and ready to go. 

Another thing that eliminates overwhelm for me for a while involves coaching clients. I’m present and focused on that one client and I set everything else aside.

Where Is the Super Effective Inner Peace Reset Button?

It’s impossible for me to feel overwhelmed when I’m hanging out with these whimsical clouds and rocks and trees in the GBP.

Perhaps my favorite super effective reset button for peace involves hiking in the Galisteo Basin Preserve (GBP). I rarely see anyone. And, overwhelm literally drains from me with every step I take.

For one of my clients, a run at lunch clears her head and gives her calm, focused energy for the afternoon. For another client, meditating both in the morning and evening helps him reduce anxiety. One of my friends clears the stress of the day by taking a strenuous bike ride after work. Another client is on a news fast. She found the news was overwhelming her, so she’s not watching or reading any news.

It seems we need to be proactive and vigilant right now about consciously taking action to reset ourselves to peace.

So, what about you? What might be your super effective reset button for peace?

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below…

And, whenever you’re ready, perhaps I can help you:

Work with me one-on-one.
(For established coaches and business owners.)
I have a limited number of coaching opportunities available for established coaches and business owners who want to make more of an impact. When you commit to your greatest contribution, miracles happen.

If this sounds like you, email me at Ann@AnnStrong.com, put One-on-One in the subject line and tell me about your Big Dream. What would you love to create? I’ll reply to schedule a Coaching Conversation for us to determine if we’d be a good fit.

How You Think about Life Actually Becomes Your Life

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Awhile back, as I was working with a client around the growing pains of her business, she noticed that she’d come to accept that there wasn’t any time for her personal life. Because that was her thinking, her life had become putting out one fire after another.

This alerted me to look more closely at my own thinking. For most of the past year, I’ve been telling myself that “the world” is too much for me. As a sensitive empath, it’s challenging for me to feel all the chaos. My solution had been isolating myself from the world more and more.

Recently, I realized I could shift my thinking to something more life-affirming.

I have this wonderful job in which I get to support people in proactively creating their lives and their work. My clients are willing to look within themselves and courageously create what’s important to them. It’s such a privilege to facilitate their transformations.

While I still don’t get out into the world much, I do feel better about my life because I’m thinking about how I AM contributing rather than what drains me. I’ve also given myself permission to spend more time alone in nature, reminding myself, yet again, that it restores me. I don’t need to judge it.

How You Think about Life Actually Becomes Your Life
When I think about this land and this rainbow as benevolent friends,
I feel happier and more accepting of my life as it is.

So, what about you? What have you been thinking about? What do you notice about how that has become your life?

Post your comments, experiences and insights below…

2 Factors that Make a Strong Relationship

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I’m in the middle of reading a StrengthsFinder book, Strengths Based Marriage, by Jimmy Evans and Allan Kelsey.  The subtitle, Build a Stronger Relationship by Understanding Each Other’s Gifts, is an understatement.

2 Factors that Make a Strong Relationship

In my own relationships and in working with many couples around their relationships and each of their StrengthsFinder (now CliftonStrengths) strengths, I’ve found a profoundly deeper level of appreciation for our partners when we know and understand our own and our partner’s top strengths.

The two factors that naturally create strong relationships:
1.  Not taking differences personally.
2.  Noticing and championing the gifts of our partners’ strengths.

When my clients “Anna” and “Josh” learned their own and each others’ StrengthsFinder strengths, they immediately had far fewer arguments.  When I asked them exactly what had shifted, neither of them knew at first.  As we talked more, it became clear that they weren’t taking things personally anymore.

Both of them realized that the other wasn’t trying to hurt them, but rather they were naturally doing what their strengths guided them to do.  The more we talked and they came to understand the specifics of the others’ strengths, the more they appreciated the differences that the other brought to their partnership.

The second factor, after knowing our own and our partner’s StrengthsFinder strengths involves being willing to notice and champion the gifts, rather than the differences (which we often interpret as “wrong”) in both our own and our partners’ strengths.

For example, my partner has Deliberative in his top 5 strengths.  Deliberative makes decisions thoughtfully and carefully.  I have Activator in my top 5.  I jokingly call in my “dive in the pool and on the way down see if there’s any water” strength.

You can probably imagine if I hadn’t known our top 5 strengths, I would have thought my way of making decisions was right and his frustratingly wrong.

Because I did know our strengths, I deeply appreciated some decisions were far better made with his Deliberative in the mix.  I also had more patience than I would normally have had when he needed to think things through because I knew that was his process and he was good at making great decisions that way.

The more I work with individuals and couples around strengths, the more excited I get about facilitating far less misunderstandings and far greater respect and appreciation!

If you would love to give and receive more love, appreciation and understanding in your relationship, I have 2 openings in August for Strong Couple StrengthsFinder Coaching packages.

Get the details here:
http://annstrong.com/strong-couple-strengthsfinder-coaching/

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below . . .

Which of Your Friends Are Experiencing Loss and Grief?

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It can be hard to know how to support someone through grief.  And, when you do offer support, it makes a HUGE difference to that person to know you care.

I’ve got two excellent resources here for you to share with them.

Which of Your Friends Are Experiencing Loss and Grief?

1. A comprehensive, super-helpful article, written by three compassionate mental health professionals:
Coping with Grief and Loss
Understanding the Grieving Process and Learning to Heal
By Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

It’s a bit long. And, it can easily be read in small chunks.

Click here to access article.

2. If your friend runs their own business, a Good Grief, Business Back on Track Clarity session with me – no cost, my gift.
I will help them get clear about receiving the good in grief which will point them toward how to keep their business running smoothly during this challenging time.

If they want further support from me, we can talk about that, too. If not, that’s totally cool also.

Click to schedule a session.

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below…

Are You Struggling to Find the Genuine Gift in Grief?

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Last year my client, “Dianne,” felt optimistic and hopeful that her daughter-in-law Serena could take over her business when she retired. They’d been moving in that direction for a few months when she realized she’d been looking the other way about how much Serena seemed to be drinking.

When Serena had an altercation with one of Dianne’s key employees, she could no longer avoid the inevitable. She had to let Serena go. Dianne’s son, Tate, quit speaking to her and they wouldn’t allow her to spend time with her grandchildren.

Inconsolable for awhile, Dianne chose to coach with me because she knew she needed to get past feeling betrayed and wanted to be available to the business and her other children and grandchildren.

Today she’ll be the first to tell you she’s less judgmental. She prays for her son and daughter-in-law and their kids every day because she realizes it’s out of her hands. She’s re-energized about her work and is grooming one of her long-time employees to buy the business.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Four years ago, three days after I sold my house to live happily ever after with my boyfriend, we got into a physical fight. That had never happened. Stunned, bruised and broken-hearted, I stayed at a friend’s house and tried to get to the bottom of it with him.

We weren’t able to work it out between us. I found an apartment and began my own inner work. Over the next several months, I realized I had taken a stand for myself that day. I had been putting off my dream of living in New Mexico, waiting for him to be ready. Not the most elegant way to free myself from my self-created prison, but free myself I did.

It’s almost 3 years since I moved to New Mexico. After the first year of living here, my sister told me maybe I should change the recording on my voicemail that says, “You’ve reached my new home and office in beautiful, spacious Lamy, New Mexico . . .” I haven’t change it yet because every day here feels like a huge gift for my body, mind, heart and soul.

Are You Struggling to Find the Genuine Gift in Grief?
Beautiful, spacious Lamy, New Mexico

Why do I tell you all this?

If I hadn’t insisted on finding the gifts in all that grief, I would’ve remained broken and become bitter.

If Dianne hadn’t done the work in coaching, she would have remained a judgmental victim and allowed her business to fall apart.

So, what about you?

If you’ve experienced the loss of a dream, a business or personal relationship or of a loved one to death recently, would you be willing to consider finding the gifts in grief?

May all beings receive the transformative gifts of grief.

As always, post your comments and experiences below …

What Happens If You Allow Your WHYs to Guide You?

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One of my clients recently became completely overwhelmed studying for an exam for a professional certification. To support her in being present with her studying, I asked her why it’s important for her to pass this exam.

Over the phone, I heard her lighten up as she answered, “I get to help my clients in a new way and I’ll make more money with this added service.” “Why is it important to make more money?” “Because when we start a family in a couple of years, if I make more money now, I can work less then.”

“So, as you’re studying and you notice you’re starting to feel overwhelmed, can you take a deep breath, remember why you’re doing this and then get back to it?” She laughed. “Of course. I feel better already.”

For me, most years at this time of year, I have to firmly remind myself why I’m going to focus on activities I love in the summer. There aren’t many of them because summer is my least favorite season. Tomorrow when I’m enjoying dinner on a restaurant patio with a friend to celebrate her birthday, I will remember I eat lots of summer meals on the patio because I am unwilling to be miserable for 25% of each year!

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My 16-year-old niece, Hailey, and I enjoying our latte and white mocha on the patio of my favorite San Diego coffee shop, 99 Cups in Pacific Beach. YAY patios!!!

So what about you? What’s challenging you right now? What is your WHY? Does that help you move forward in a way that feels better to you? Post your experiences below . . .

What is the Value of Detachment?

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Recently I realized I wanted to be more aware and mindful of detaching. In pondering what might support me in this process, I came up with a few core ideas, reminders.

In case they’re helpful to you, here they are!

I am beginning to recognize that detaching sets me free to love fully, unconditionally and without reservation.

What is the Value of Detachment?

My energy is open, moving and available and at the same time, still, spacious and deeply loving.

I allow EVERYTHING to pass through.

Nothing can stick to me unless I stick to it.

I am right here, right now, loving fully without needing things to be a certain way.

So what about you? What do you notice about yourself and attachment, detachment? Post your experiences below . . .