dissolving stress

I Am Love

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Love is not something I do.
Love is not something I get from you.
Love is not something I give to you.

Love is who I am.
Love is who you are.

LOVE IS WHO I AM.
LOVE IS WHO YOU ARE.

As I feel into this,
I notice my brain wants meaning.
What does this mean?

As I feel into this,
I realize my heart KNOWS.

Without words.
With a softening of my body.
With a slowing of my breath.

Experiencing myself as love.
Experiencing you as love.

I Am Love
Experiencing this road, this snow, these clouds, these trees as love.

Experiencing the air I breath as love.
Experiencing the sun upon my face as love.
Experiencing life as love.
Experiencing. Love.

What about you? What’s your experience? Post your experiences below…

The Counterintuitive Way to Be with Panic Rising

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Panic Rising

Feeling this sensation
Inside me
that I tend to call
Panic.

Noticing.
Breathing.
Feeling urgency
and refraining from
Thinking.
Labeling.
Judging.

Instead.
Being.
Being with the
Sensation
Inside of me.

Ah,
False alarm.
Nothing to do.

Simply a
Call.
To be.

Be with myself.
Allowing the rising.

Noticing rising
Is always followed
by subsiding.

The Counterintuitive Way to Be with Panic Rising

Rising.
Subsiding.

Rising.
Subsiding.

Surrendering.
Accepting.
Breathing.

Feeling this sensation
Inside me
that I tend to call
Bliss.

Noticing.
Breathing.
Feeling attachment
and refraining from
Thinking.
Labeling.
Judging.

Being.
Being with the
Sensation
Inside of me.

Ah,
False alarm.
Nothing to do.

Simply a
Call
To be.

Be with myself.
Allowing the rising.

Noticing rising
Is always followed
by subsiding.

Rising.
Subsiding.

Rising.
Subsiding.

Surrendering.
Accepting.
Breathing.

Learning to love.

The rising.
The subsiding.

3 Quick, Awesome Ways to Dissolve Stress

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Come to Mama
When was the last time you laid on the ground? If you have to think about it, stop reading now, run outside and plop yourself down. Lay there and take in the support of Mother Earth holding you and the expansive infinity of the sky calling you. If your neighbors ask, “Are you alright?,” invite them to join you.

Play Hard
Grab some kids, a dog or your lover and get down to some old-fashion play. Tag, wrestling, throwing a ball . . . Bonus points for doing it outside.

Shake Your Booty
Get all that tension out of your body. Now. If you need a guide, let Rochelle Schieck, founder of Qoya, support you in completely shifting in less than 4 minutes.

Those are my ideas for today. What about you? What are 3 of your favorite ways to dissolve stress? Let’s get a great big, juicy list going . . .

How to Look for Happiness in All the Wrong Places

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We tend to think our happiness lies in the predictable and permanent instead of being present with life when the tide comes in and when the tide goes out.

How to Look for Happiness in All the Wrong Places

In Pema Chödrön’s book, Comfortable with Uncertainty, she says, “We become habituated to reaching for something to ease the edginess of the moment. Thus we become less and less able to reside with even the most fleeting uneasiness or discomfort. What begins as a slight shift of energy – a minor tightening of our stomach, a vague, indefinable feeling that something bad is about to happen – escalates into addiction. This is our way of trying to make life predictable.”

What’s so strange to me: I KNOW that nothing’s permanent and yet, I still try to arrange things so that, finally, I’ll have something I can “count on.” Ironically, I can count on the ebb and flow of life, but that isn’t what I want. I want to make the unpredictable predictable. Ah, one of the many faces of trying to control . . .

As much as I’d love to be in control, it has yet to yield anywhere near the amount of happiness I think it should! So, I’m practicing sitting with the uncomfortable feelings. What’s so amazing to me: I often experience a sublime peace when I’m not fighting what is.

I’m also practicing enjoying the adventure of chaos. As I’m going to yet another pet store to get new food and more remedies that might help my kitty Miles feel better, I surrender to not being in charge.

When I’d really love a particular thing to happen, I notice that attachment doesn’t feel good. So, I say to myself, often out loud, “It will happen. Or it won’t happen.” And, I’ve found happiness in releasing attachment.

What I’m noticing more and more: the sweetness in life, even when I feel uncomfortable and even when things aren’t as I wish they would be.

What about you? What does your relationship with discomfort, predictability and permanence look like? What do you notice about happiness for you? Please share below . . .

What Happens When Love Breaks Through?

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With Valentine’s Day next Tuesday, I’m happy to share this new piece with you.

Love Breaks Through

When you think your heart can’t hurt any more,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When we live courageously,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When I’m unbearably hard on myself,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When we feel so scared we’re paralyzed,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When your hatred seems justified,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When I notice my self-compassion,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When it seems there is no answer,
LOVE Breaks Through.

wild horses running in the grass

When our hearts are full,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When all you feel is despair,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When we’ve lost hope and given up,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When there’s so much tenderness in your heart,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When the injustice seems too great to bear,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When your arms are open wide,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When I don’t know which way to go,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When the rage threatens to consume you,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When it looks like we’re at an impasse,
LOVE Breaks Through.

Winter trees in fog

When I feel so alone,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When we have no idea how to solve this,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When you become aware you’re numb,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When it feels like there’s only confusion,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When we can’t seem to move forward,
LOVE Breaks Through.

sunset over the blue waters of Northumberland Strait, Prince Edward Island, Canada

When you feel like you’ve tried everything,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When I’m railing against what is,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When we aren’t sure of the question, much less the answer,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When we get comfortable with discomfort,
LOVE Breaks Through.

When I must say the hard thing,
LOVE Breaks Through.

Through every joy and every sorrow,
LOVE Breaks Through.

With every breath we take,
LOVE Breaks Through.

LOVE.
Breaks Through.

So, what about you? When do you notice love breaking through? What happens for you when love breaks through?

What Can We Rely on When Things Seem Uncertain?

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The change of administration in Washington here in the U.S. has many people feeling uncertain about what the future holds. The truth is that we never know what the future holds. And, times of transition tend to make us hyper-aware of that.

So, what can we rely on?

For some it’s faith and spiritual practice. For others it’s their own internal strengths and gifts.

While I rely on my faith and spiritual practice as well as my internal strengths and gifts, I also rely on my relationship with nature.

Here’s a 3-minute clip from a talk I gave at church this past summer about how nature sustains me.

Nature Shows Me that I Do Belong

I’d love to know what you rely on when faced with uncertainty . . .

What Is the Value of Experiencing the Air Outside?

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This week, I’m on vacation in California, visiting two of my sisters and their families. Whether I’m at home or visiting somewhere, I love being outside. One of my favorite rituals while staying with my sister Julie involves walking to my favorite coffee shop on the planet, 99 Cups.

They live 6 blocks from the beach and the walk to 99 Cups is about a mile. While walking today, I was particularly aware of how different sea air feels compared to high desert air. And, I love both.

What Is the Value of Experiencing the Air Outside?

Whenever I’m available to notice the natural elements, I become more present, any anxiety melts away and I feel more connected to all life. I’m reminded how healing it is to be outside.

What about you? When were you last outside? Have you noticed all that’s available to you in the crisp, late autumn air, the clouds drifting by or the slight warmth of the sun?

I highly encourage you to get out into nature in whatever way feeds you. Allow the elements to restore, re-calibrate, reawaken, remind and reinvigorate you.

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

 

 

Ah, to the majesty of the
Norfolk Pine on a rare
clear day at the beach.

 

What If We Love the Beautiful and the Mess?

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A few weeks ago, after working with a client, I was reflecting on the messiness of being human. The piece below came forth. Yesterday, I was agitated about the messiness of my own life and thought it might be good to share this piece!

What If We Love the Beautiful and the Mess?

So, I’m not getting my work done as fast as I’d like . . . Do I really want to overlook the pure joy in this “annoyance?”


All of It

Without perfection,
there’s presence.

Without criticism,
expression.

Without procrastination,
progress.

Attempting perfection
brings completion.

Hearing criticism,
compassion.

Procrastinating,
a bit of movement.

Breathing in,
Breathing out,
completing the circle
of being alive.

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming stress and overwhelm into clarity and purpose”)

Why Do You Need to Know How to Release Certainty?

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Every time we are certain of something, we narrow our world.
“I can’t go hiking with you today because it’s too hot.”

I’m certain it’s too hot and I’m certain that too hot is “bad” for me, therefore I will stay home. If I might like to go hiking, but think it’s too hot, what happens if I remain open and curious?

Maybe I’ll go and take extra water. Maybe I’ll be willing to go for a short time. Maybe I’ll go, hike a bit and then sit in the shade. Maybe I’ll notice I don’t need certain conditions to be happy, to enjoy the day.

Why Do You Need to Know How to Release Certainty?
Me creating my own shade on a day that was probably too hot for me!

What if I avoid a specific person because I’ve decided she’s too shallow? What if she then tells me something deep and meaningful? What if I then notice I feel connected to her? What if I notice my certainty had kept me away from her for years?

What if you won’t grow your business because you’re not good at sales? What if you notice that you are the one who decided you’re not good at sales? What if you open to the infinite possibilities around how to sell? What if you release your certainty about sales and a used car salesmen being one and the same?

We might want to learn how to release certainty to give ourselves the gift of richer, fuller, more meaningful and expansive lives.

Okay, so how do we release certainty? I do often get too hot, I don’t like superficial and you’re not good at sales.

Wow, look how definitive are each of these statements. They sound like absolute truths when, in actuality, they are preferences or tendencies.

What would happen if I allowed myself to enjoy my life whether I’m “too hot” or just the right temperature? How might my life shift if I was curious about the person in front of me, instead of having already decided who she is? How might your business grow if you expanded your view of sales?

What if we accepted and embraced life on life’s terms instead of demanding our list of certainties?

As we begin to hear our selves say, “I can’t,” “I don’t like . . .,” “That’s not me,” we give ourselves the opportunity to release certainty in favor of openness and curiosity. As we notice our self-created suffering around not having our preferences, we can make a new choice in the moment to be happy anyway.

Perhaps a new perspective on “having it all?!?”

As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas . . .

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming stress and overwhelm into clarity and purpose”)

What If We Didn’t Fight Ourselves?

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After studying A Course of Love for 10 months, I finished reading it a couple of months ago. At the end of the book, it instructed me to begin again – read it a second time!

Since then, I had resisted rereading. After all, it is not light summer vacation reading.

Then, a couple of weeks ago in my study group, I was guided to re-read several specific chapters. In the past two weeks, I have repeatedly read and re-read seven chapters.

These chapters addressed what to do about not liking several situations in my life. My takeaways: I do not have to like the circumstances, but rather I need to accept how I feel about the circumstances.

What If We Didn’t Fight Ourselves?
Homage to an Audi.  I loved this car, my dream car.  Such a beautiful car and an amazing driving experience.  And a few weeks ago her engine died.  To say I didn’t like this is a ridiculous understatement.  I’m still grieving.  And, I have accepted that I’m still grieving.  And yes, I know she was “just a car.”  A car that I loved.

This has been life-changing for me. I quit fighting myself and my feelings.

I wonder if every war there ever was, internal and external, was started to get away from feelings we didn’t like.

What a simple solution to accept that I feel sad or mad, lonely or hopeless, envious or not enough rather than wage an internal battle against these feelings or try to get away from them.

As I’ve accepted my feelings, I’ve felt this new tenderness for myself. It’s also been heartwarming to witness how quickly my feelings shift as I am willing to embrace them. And, I’ve noticed that I’m advocating for what I need and desire in a more clear and direct way.

I highly recommend accepting whatever you are feeling.

I’d love to hear your experiences . . . post them below in the comments section . . .

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming crisis into clarity and purpose”)