How to Solve Any Problem with One Powerful Question

“This problem needs solving.” “I hate this situation.” I heard each of these from clients recently. “I’m at an impasse.” I heard this coming from my own mouth when I called my coach.

With each of them, we explored one question:
Who do you need to be to resolve this?

The first client realized she needed to be someone who got involved now to do something toward stopping the separation of children from their parents.

With the second client, she realized she needed to step into her power, state clearly and calmly what she wanted and needed and be willing to walk away if that wasn’t possible.

For me, I realized I needed to be the one to have compassion and empathy for the woman with whom I was at an impasse. After being stalled for days, within hours, we moved past the impasse. And her demeanor completely changed for the rest of our interactions.

How To Solve Any Problem with One Powerful Question

When I’m feeling anxious, I know I need to be the one who is more Zen cat-like. Pebbles is one of my 3 wonderful, resident feline teachers. Yay, kitty prayer pose!

So, what about you? What needs to be resolved in your world? Would you like to work with more clients? Sleep better at night? Finish writing a book? Feel more peaceful? Hopeful?

Who do you need to be?

I’d love to hear from you. What would you love to resolve?
Who do you need to be?

Join the conversation ~ comment below.

3 thoughts on “How to Solve Any Problem with One Powerful Question”

  1. Ken, thank you for your vulnerability in your post here.

    I do love asking, “Who do I need to be in this moment?” when I’m frustrated or upset. It reminds me that I have infinite options rather than one mindless reaction.

    I’m noticing more and more that who I need to be is the one who remains calm in the eye of the storm.

  2. Ha! Good timing! I have just gotten home from embarrassing myself. I was invited to dinner with a friend and a visiting friend of the friend. The visitor exhibited what I interpreted to be extremely overbearing mannerisms, and I reacted badly.

    Who I need to be is one who is centered in his own strength, and not overly swayed by the behavior of others.


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