Insights

Conscious choice: Choosing from the best of you

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Recently, I had a conversation that really stuck with me.  We were exploring the paradox of fully accepting who we are, how we are and a desire to grow, change.  If we constantly would like to grow, then isn’t there something “wrong” with us now?

I didn’t quite know how to answer that question at first. 

As a business and life coach, I support my clients in both growing and changing and accepting what is – exactly as it is, exactly as they are.  The more I contemplated and looked at my own growth path, I realized a wonderful distinction.

Each of us makes many, many choices in a day.  If our overall intention involves choosing from the most compassionate, loving, kind, present, aware, _______ (you fill in the blank) place that we can choose from in that moment, then we continue to grow and to accept what is at the same time!

I see a continuum, where on the one end, we each have the ax murderer version of ourselves and on the other end we each have the Dalai Lama version of ourselves (or any other low energy/high energy pictures we care to conjure). 

Now, someone cuts us off in traffic, ends a relationship with us or treats one of our children poorly.  We respond.  Do we choose to respond from a place on that continuum that is closer to the low energy or high energy end?  Do we handle the situation from a version of ourselves closest to the ax murderer or to the Dalai Lama?

So, it’s perhaps becomes less about us changing into something completely different, but rather making choices from the best of us more of the time? 

This is big!  I’m still pondering.  I would love your input and to hear your experiences.

Self improvement: Releasing the need to control

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The more Joyce let go of trying to make her ex-husband do what she wanted him to do, the more peaceful she felt.  And, as a surprising bonus, they could more easily agree on arrangements for their children that worked for both of them.  Joyce saw clearly that she actually received more of what she wanted by letting go rather than threatening, manipulating and demanding.

I, too, have learned over and over again that trying to make my sisters, my neighbors or my business colleagues do things my way just doesn’t work.  And, in the moment, it infuriates me that I do not get to be in charge!  Often, when I have surrendered from exhaustion, I have felt amazed at how well things work out without my orchestrating every little detail to my exact specifications.

I feel an actual release in my body.  Trying to control others or circumstances use a lot of my precious energy that I could instead be using to enjoy or create.

Letting go opens up delicious space in our lives.  As we trust Universal Power to bring together people and circumstances, we become more available to the wonder of the present.  Ah, one of the joys of self improvement . . .  

I encourage you to try it in this very moment.  What could you release into the Life Flow right now?

Spiritual inspiration: clearing clutter (day 4)

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As I reflect on interviewing Ashi about her new book, “Bless Your Mess and Create a Home that Feel Fabulous,” I am struck by how clearing clutter is not just about stuff under my bed or piled high in the closet.  It also involves friendships I’ve outgrown, beliefs that no longer serve and appointments that don’t feel meaningful to me.

I feel inspired to notice if the meal I’m eating, the conversation I’m having and the keyboard upon which I’m writing feel nourishing and wonderful or if I’d like to choose something else that feels great to me in this moment.

Wow, this is big.  What do I most love?  Who do I most love?  How can I love what I don’t love so much anymore as I release it to its greater good?

Okay, as the experiment unfolds, more on this later, I’m sure!