Is Self-Love Actually Selfish?

The first definition of “selfish” on devoted to or caring only for oneself. Reading this, a few questions come to mind for me.

What if we take out the “only?” Devoted to or caring for oneself. What if we look at it from the viewpoint that we are all One? Devoted to and caring for oneself is then, in fact, caring for All? What if we take out the idea of my self interest is more important than your self interest? What if it isn’t either/or?

And, maybe most importantly, if every single person on the planet were devoted to taking good care of themselves, how much might that reduce struggle, fighting and hate? If I tend my own garden, maybe I don’t have to judge yours?

Right now, several of my clients are devoted to taking better care of themselves. Coaching them has taken me to the next deeper and expanded level of my own self-love.

From that, this new piece came forward.

Is Self-Love Actually Selfish?


I love loving me.

I love valuing and appreciating me.

I love delighting in and cherishing me.

I love showing myself I matter deeply.

I love hearing me, seeing me, understanding me.

I love attending to me.

I love devoting time to me.

I love noticing and affirming me.

I love championing me.

I love loving the entire Universe that is me.

I love loving the entire Universe as me.

I love loving me.

As always, post your comments, experiences and insights below …

6 comments to Is Self-Love Actually Selfish?

  • Ann Strong

    Janet, did you set out to post your comment at 11:11? It tickles me. What a world it would be indeed!

  • Ann Strong

    Indeed Ken! May we all feel more love and less fear.

  • Ann Strong

    Gail, thank you for your kind words and acknowledgment.

    Enjoy your family time! Not to worry what to do with your nephew – I’m sure it will become clear as you spend time together. I remember when my older nephew was young, we were outside and physical. Lots of basketball. My game actually improved! My 13-year-old nephew has been everything Legos for many years now.

  • Ann! I love it! We are all one and when we take care of ourselves first there is no need to take care of the others who are also taking care of themselves! What a world it would be!

  • Ken

    Since the “only” IS in there, then no, self-love isn’t selfish. I agree wholeheartedly that self-love is urgently important for ourselves and the planet. And your poem models that beautifully!

    The emotion that drives anyone to selfishness is fear. May we all feel more love and less fear!

  • Gail Ackerman

    Thank-you for sharing your insight dear lady! Always a treasure and such wisdom in your words. Fingers crossed.. my bro-in-law, sis-in-law and 5 yr. old nephew coming to visit for 4 days TODAY! Not quite sure what to do with a little boy..? Maybe yard work? Hugs to you!

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Ann Strong, founder of Strong from Within and Thriving Coaches.

Author of Thriving Work.

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