“Do not let anything that happens in life be important enough that you’re willing to close your heart . . . Nothing, ever, is worth closing your heart over.“
Michael Singer
From the book, “The Untethered Soul”
Recently, I dated a guy for a few weeks. It was an incredibly challenging relationship. We often got along beautifully and had a great time together. And, at the same time, we both kept getting triggered in deep, painful ways.
I’ve dated a lot, I’ve been in many relationships and I’ve never experienced anything like this. Neither of us knew what to make of it.
At one point, when I couldn’t take any more triggering, I sent him a short, “No need to go any further” text. A couple of days later, I realized there might be value in being more mature and less reactive in my communication.
I called him and we agreed to have a closing conversation a couple of days later. We met in a park under a magnificent tree. One of the many things we have in common: a deep connection with trees.
Maybe the tree worked his magic on us.
We had a wonderful, heartfelt conversation about closing the romantic chapter in the story of us and continuing the connection of our friendship. We sat and talked under that tree for two hours.
I felt strangely neutral. I came away from our time together with a deep appreciation for each of us and our connection. And totally clear that we’d made a great decision.
The next day, I read the Michael Singer quote above. It startled me. Maybe I’ve become more willing to keep my heart open regardless of circumstances?!?
So, what happens if we keep our hearts open? For me, it feels life-affirming, empowering and kind of like how it’s suppose to be . . .
I’d love to hear your experiences . . . post them below in the comments section . . .
(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming crisis into clarity and purpose”)
Ken,
I wonder if living more from a (strangely) neutral place supports us in living with our hearts open?!?
Singer tells us that the way to remain open-hearted is simply by not closing our hearts. If we notice our hearts beginning to close, we ask ourselves, “Is this worth closing my heart over?”
And here’s the thing: we think if we close our hearts, then we will be protected. Erroneous thinking. We will simply be cut off from our own vital, beautiful, loving organ.
No more protected than when we were open-hearted. Just numb inside. What I’ve found: when I remain open-hearted when in the past I would have closed my heart, so much of that open-heartedness bathes me. Sometimes I even realize I truly can’t be hurt!
In the Epilogue to “A Course of Love” (E.11-12) there is discussion of whether everything has changed or nothing has changed as we become more open-hearted. This is exactly my experience–everything has changed and nothing has changed! Like you, I have felt “strangely neutral” a number of times lately.
Hooray to you for your open-heartedness. May you continue to be a way-shower for us.