I recently learned that problem-solving triggers fight-or-flight. Choosing to instead engage with “What If . . .” generates safety and creativity. I have been playing with it myself to experience the truth. I can feel it in my body.
When I think, “This (whatever “this” is) is a problem and now I have to find a solution,” I feel anxious.
I think thoughts like:
- What if I can’t solve this?
- I don’t want to make (fill in the blank) mad.
- Why do I even have to deal with this?
- This is too much trouble.
- What if this snowballs into more problems?
You get the idea . . .
Can you feel the anxiety or pressure building in your body as you read my thoughts?!? Crazy.
If I instead, look at “What If . . .,” my body immediately relaxes.
I think thoughts like:
- What if it’s better than I imagine because (fill in the blank)?
- Maybe we could (fill in the blank).
- What if I don’t do anything right now and allow this to resolve itself?
- Maybe he meant (fill in a generous explanation, rather than the explanation that means I now have a problem).
- What if all is well? Right now. Everything as it is.
I just took a deep breath. Did you? Can you feel your body relaxing?
As always, I invite you to share your own responses and experiences in the Comments section below.
To finding the amazing opportunity in every single thing we had previously thought of as a problem to be solved!
I love living life from a coaching perspective.
