Two of my clients didn’t reach goals around their health this year. Another didn’t reach his financial goals. I had high hopes for getting my two-year-old cat, Miles, healthy by the end of the year. We aren’t there yet. This may sound strange coming from a coach who makes her living helping clients reach their goals.
So, here’s the thing: When we don’t reach the goals our human ego sets, we have the opportunity to create a deeper, more intimate relationship with ourselves. We become a new person on the way to achieving the human goals. And, we get further in those human areas than if we hadn’t set the goals.
The two clients who have goals around their health are becoming far more self-compassionate, self-loving and their own best friends.
The client with financial goals is learning to give himself credit for being in the process. He’s also learning about his inner security as he works on his outer security.
As for me and Miles, I’ve gotten to experience his unconditional affection, no matter how he feels. I’m learning patience and accepting what is. I’m learning that me being nervous and frustrated affects both of us poorly.
For all of us, we have the opportunity to set new goals, perhaps with a bit more wisdom about ourselves.
So what about you? Are there goals you didn’t reach this year? If so, how might you find the huge value for you?
As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.
Happy Solstice!
Ken, thank you for sharing Kristin’s article. I’ve never looked through the lens of why we might not want to give ourselves compassion – I live how she breaks it down . . .
Such synchronicity! Your blog discusses self-compassion, and another friend sent this link to an article by Kristin Neff of Univ. Texas-Austin:
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_five_myths_of_self_compassion
So, yes, I am using the goals I didn’t reach to help me be more self-compassionate, and yes, I am better off for having set them.
Your blogs consistently help me–Thanks!