3 Keys for Learning to Love Life

I had one of those life learning experiences this past Sunday, flying back home to the Land of Enchantment from LA. When I checked to see if my flight was on time, the Southwest website could not give me that info, due to a “system-wide technology delay.” The site admonished me to be to the airport at least 2 hours ahead of my flight time.

At the airport, one look at the length of the security line made me think it would take longer than 2 hours to get through that line alone. My first thoughts were, “I can’t do this. I don’t want to do this.” Walking and walking and walking toward the back of the line along the street, my next thoughts were, “It is what it is. I have no idea what will happen. It seems like the next logical thing to do is to get in this line.”

Typically, this type of experience would feel extraordinarily stressful to me. The heat on the street, the chaos of so many people having no idea what’s going on, not knowing if I would have enough time to make my flight, my phone having only about 13% charge, my boarding pass on my phone . . .

I made it through security in about 50 minutes. I was able to show my boarding pass to the initial security person inside the building and the official security person at the security checkpoint with 6% charge to spare. I found a floor outlet everyone else had overlooked to charge my phone to 30% to show the gate attendant. I had time to go to the bathroom and get a bottle of water. And, my flight took off only 10 minutes late.

What a strange and wonderful experience to be loving life in the midst  of circumstances that used to cause me stress.

What a strange and wonderful experience to be loving life in the midst
of circumstances that used to cause me stress.

What would have been 2 hours of extreme stress in the past turned out to be a well-choreographed dance. What had shifted for me?

1. Which thoughts do I choose to act upon? Which thoughts do I allow to pass, giving space for something new?
I allowed my initial thought of fleeing to pass without acting on it. That gave some space in my mind to notice that it was probably most logical to get in the security line, even though I didn’t want to.

2. Don’t try to do better. Don’t make it worse.
I wanted to listen to music to make the situation more bearable. Not an option with so little charge on my phone. Then, I wanted to beat myself up for not arriving at the airport with a fully-charged phone. I did neither and simply allowed myself to be human with lots of other humans, hanging out in the present moment.

3. There is only now. This present moment is my life.
Once I remember that this moment, this string of moments, is my life, I relaxed. I didn’t concern myself with the length of the line. I would either make it to my plane before it took off, or I wouldn’t. Either way, I would be with that in that moment.

I asked the guy in front of me what he was learning about the situation on his phone. I talked with the guy behind me about Denver, his destination, and Santa Fe, mine. I love talking about Colorado and New Mexico. I was patient with myself when I pulled up the wrong boarding pass at the security checkpoint. I was kind to the security guy, even though he wasn’t so patient with me.

I lived in the moment all the way home. I loved myself and I loved those around me, realizing we all were in the same boat. When I noticed someone experiencing stress, I took a moment to see them in a love bubble. I was living my good life in the midst of chaos.

What about you? What do you notice in these 3 Keys?

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

How I Realized the Value of Empty

I know that my thoughts and feelings create my experience of life. And, I am still sometimes tempted to change external circumstances to shift my experience.

I’m especially prone to this in the area of spiritual study. I tend to think if I read the right spiritual book or listen to an uplifting audio, then I will “feel better.”

Recently when neither “worked,” I called my coach. She asked me if I’d done any silent meditation or shaking (a simple body practice to release from my body anything I don’t need).

I hadn’t done either, so I immediately did both. And, they did “work.” I finally felt better. More present, more light. Now this was super curious to me because I know that my experience of life comes from the inside, from my thoughts and feelings. Yet, I had just changed my experience of life by the external shift of meditating and shaking.

What was going on?

Now that I was more present and lighter, I had more capacity to be curious without judgment. And I had a light bulb moment. When I was reading and listening to the audio, I was filling my head with more thoughts, which also created more feelings. This compounded my “problem.”

When I did my silent meditation and shaking, I was emptying. Less thought. Less feeling.

It would be easy now to think that I must do silent meditation and shaking to feel good. What actually helped me feel better was having less thought as a result of meditating and shaking.

No wonder I love trees without leaves and wide open space - empty feels good to me!
No wonder I love trees without leaves and wide open
space – empty feels good to me!

Less thought and new thought are always available. This particular time, less thought happened via meditating and shaking. How wonderful is that? And, next time, new thought might happen from noticing a billboard. Or, my thoughts might settle down when I’m falling asleep.

While we can’t control when we’ll have fresh thought or less thought, we can be grateful when it comes and gentle with ourselves until then!

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

The Source of Our Experience

Recently I had to sort out something between my doctor, insurance company and pharmacy. Not fun. I realized that the root of my frustration and anxiety was about feeling powerless.

While waiting for replies from them, this piece, Returning to Center, came to me. It reminds me that regardless of how it looks, I am Source. When I remember I am Source, my energy shifts and the external world shifts, too.

Instead of continuing to try to strong-arm things into place (yes, I am good at that :), I decided to leave it alone until the next morning. By 9:30 am, they had worked it out themselves.

To returning to Center, again and again . . .

Returning to Center

Returning to Center

Off balance.
Out of sorts.
Beside myself.
Ah, to be human.

Remembering.
Center.
Returning to Center.
Ah, to be Divine.

Disconnected.
Defending.
Feeling separate.
Out of control.

Connected.
Clear.
Open.
Returning to Center.

Messy misery.
Miraculous Center.
Ah, to be Divinely human.

Returning to Center.
Again and again.
Again and again.

No judgment.
Returning to Center.

All.
One.
Center.

Returning to Center.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

What do you notice for you?

The Dark Side of Know, Like and Trust

I have been selling all my life.

5-year-old me gathered seeds from my mother’s four o’clock flowers and sold them to the neighbors. During grade school, I sold Current greeting cards to my teachers after school.

As soon as I was old enough, I sold chicken at KFC. In my senior year of high school, I made a bold career move and went to work at Country Kitchen for tiny pay and tips. I doubled my income.

As an adult with adult bills to pay, I decided to get some sales training to maximize my income. I learned that people buy from those they know, like and trust. This was good news to me because it was easy for me to get people to know, like and trust me.

An innocent misunderstanding that guided my career for the next few decades.

I see now that there is a world of difference between people naturally knowing, liking and trusting me and me getting people to know, like and trust me. I was grasping for something that was already mine if only I had relaxed into the knowing that I am enough.

Ah, the joy of being One with an environment that knows no grasping . . .

Ah, the joy of being One with an environment that knows no grasping . . .

My job isn’t about getting anybody to do anything. My true work: being me. Then, a person likes me or doesn’t like me. They are drawn to know me or they aren’t. If they do know and like me, chances are good they will trust me.

When I first realized this, it terrified me. I was going to leave it up to chance? If I didn’t work at getting people to like me, then what if they didn’t? People buy only from those they know, like and trust. What if not enough people liked me?

The irony: people are far more likely to know, like and trust me when I am genuinely me. Whether or not they are conscious of it, people can feel that grasping energy of “I need you to know, like and trust me so that you will buy from me.”

Today, I don’t know if enough people will like me. Which is okay because that isn’t my part. I am doing my part by focusing on knowing, liking and trusting myself and that is way more than enough!

So now, my sales job description has shifted a bit. Without self-consciousness and grasping, I have more capacity to focus on the person in front of me. What’s going on in their world? What do they need? Might I be able to offer them something of value?

That feels good! I didn’t realize how creepy it felt to be selling me. I’m not for sale.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

I would love your thoughts and responses. Post comments and insights below . . .

With That Moon Language

This past weekend, I celebrated my 55th birthday. Thank you to my dear friend Peleg for a treasured gift, “The Gift: Poems by Hafiz, the Great Sufi Master.”

I’m happy to share my current favorite with you. Be forewarned – the book has 250 poems. So far, it’s been hard for me to find one that isn’t a favorite!

How could you not love a book that’s dedication reads:
“To God’s magnificent masquerade – as us!”

moon in the night sky

With That Moon Language

Admit something:
Everyone you see, you say to them,
“Love me.”

Of course you do not do this out loud;
Otherwise,
Someone would call the cops.

Still though, think about this,
This great pull in us
To connect.

Why not become the one
Who lives with a full moon in each eye
That is always saying,

With that sweet moon
Language,
What every other eye in this world
Is dying to
Hear.

I would love your thoughts and experiences.
Post comments and insights below . . .

==========================

My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

Evoking the Best of You: From the Archives – Outer Simplicity, Inner Richness

Circa: 1991

Ann Strong, Outer Simplicity, Inner Richness

Thank you, Moreah Vestan, for asking for this postcard: Outer Simplicity,
Inner Richness, 69 things you can do for yourself, for children, for neighbors,
and for all inhabitants of planet Earth.

I wrote this piece in 1991. (I had to look it up!) I appreciate that you
had a hard-to-read copy in your Reflections file and that you asked to
see the original. You made my day!

Enjoy! This stuff is still as pertinent today!

Creator/Owner Mindset: I Can’t Believe I Fell into this Hole

There I was walking my talk. Like a great coach. And then I fell in that same hole – again.

Let me back up to the beginning.

I had been in a low mood for a day and a half. For a couple of weeks before that, I had made several invitations to people I would love to coach. All of them had said “no.”

I then attributed my low mood to “nobody wanting coaching.” That’s the moment I fell in the hole. But I didn’t realize it at the time.

low mood; falling into a hole

My mood got lower and lower. I felt disoriented and couldn’t focus. Talking with my own coach barely helped. That’s when I knew something was way off, but I still had no idea what it was.

I looked for reasons that my mood was going lower and lower. I knew better than that. I knew that the best way to deal with a low mood involves being graceful with myself and allowing it to pass. I knew better than to engage with it.

I knew better than second-guessing why I got a bunch of “no’s.” I know that no means “next.” In this particular time, I had a bit of amnesia – forgetting all that I know from selling my entire life.

Bless my coach. She was not going to leave me in this place. She sent me a snippet of a video that reminded me about my own power in my ability to choose and my ability to believe.

I immediately, beam-me-up-Scotty style, ascended from that hole. I had given away my power to choose and my power to believe. I flew out of the hole when I realized I could choose and believe again with that very breath.

Oh my God, how can I more consistently remember that I write the story of my life? I’m not in charge of when others say “yes” or “no.” I am in charge of remembering that my life is created from what I think about my life, not what happens “out there.”

Thank goodness for this profession of coaching. A sane, firm, persistent and loving voice when in a moment, I’d gone a bit off the rails . . .

What about you? How do you bring yourself back to remembering the truth of who you are when you forget a little bit?

I’d love to hear from you.

Post your comments and insights below.

==========================

My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

Creator/Owner Mindset: ‘Why Is It Hard for Me to Put Myself Out There?’

“Why is it so hard for me to put myself out there? I don’t feel insecure, but I guess I also don’t feel confident.”

Recently this was the coaching session agenda of one of my clients who is a new coach. He already has several clients and serves them beautifully. And his inquiry is almost universal. Even with gifted and experienced coaches, healers, artists, professionals.

This particular kind of question tends to lead us quite quickly to something like, “What’s wrong with me?” Since that kind of inquiry doesn’t tend to be helpful, let’s replace it with a much more empowering focus and question. Whenever I notice I am feeling self-conscious in my work, I use that as my cue to shift my focus off of me and onto the client.

woman friends chatting
What happens when we take our focus off ourselves
and put our full attention on the person in front of us?

I have my own daily morning practice around self-love, self-acceptance, self-attention, self-honoring, self-appreciation and self-allowing. I spend time being with myself no matter how I’m feeling or what I am thinking. Therefore, when I’m working, I know that I am already taken care of and now it is time to put my full attention on the person in front of me.

So, we shift our focus off of ourselves and onto the client. Our new, more empowering question can then sound something like, “How can I fully serve this person in front of me right now?”

We often tend to equate “putting ourselves out there” with marketing or sales. Then, we tend to make marketing and sales way different than working with our clients.

What if there was no difference? What if marketing and sales is literally the same as working with our clients?

Let’s look at that a bit more closely.

What if we approached “putting ourselves out there” exactly the same way as serving a paying client? What if we had the same fierce devotion and attention that we have for our clients for our website visitors, our audiences, our readers, our FB friends, our Twitter followers, the person next to us at a networking event?

How might our self-consciousness around “putting ourselves out there” transform?

I would love to hear your story!

Post your comments and insights below.

==========================

My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

Discovering Your Way: In Divine Flow

Recently my coach asked me if I was willing to surrender what I thought needed to happen. I immediately replied, “I would love to surrender.” And, before she spoke, I could feel the “But . . .” inside me.

My ego says, “If you surrender, you will die. You MUST fight for your life.” What it really means: I, the ego will “die,” take a back seat. I, the ego, must fight to stay in charge.

This no longer works for me. I am no longer willing to be a slave to my ego. So, I wrote a prayer to serve as a bit of a compass . . .

In Divine Flow

In the God Flow

I listen and follow,
Rather than plan and demand.

I stop searching my mind’s hard drive
And instead follow the God pulse.

When my heart and soul, body and mind align,
I know I am in the God flow.

Post your comments and insights below.

==========================

My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order

What Might Our Lives Look Like If We Refused to Align with Limitations?

We either make ourselves miserable or we make ourselves strong.  The amount of work is the same.” – Carlos Castaneda

What might our lives look like if we noticed our misery and then consciously chose to move toward our strength?

What if, in those tough moments, we remembered that we are Infinite beings and we refused to align with what we perceive as limitations?

One of my young adult clients gave up smoking this week.  He told me he didn’t want to smoke anymore because he wanted to focus on more important things.  When I asked him about those important things, he told me he wanted to “smell good for girls and having more time to study instead of going outside all the time for a smoke break.”

How great is that?!?  He can either use the same time for a smoke break or to study for school.

So, what about you?  Where in you life might you like to refuse to align with your limitations and make yourself strong?

Post your comments, insights and progress below.

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Strong from Within . . .

If you are feeling called to go beyond some
limitations and would like coaching support,
let’s have a conversation to explore if the
one-on-one Strong from Within coaching
program would be a good fit for you.

Click here to schedule your conversation.

==========================

My book, “Thriving Work” is now available
on Kindle at Amazon for just $3.99:
Click here to order