Transformation: Committed or Considering?

Committed looks like, “I will do whatever it takes to make this happen.”  Considering looks like, “I’m thinking about it. I’m interested.  I’m getting information.  Maybe I’ll do it if it’s convenient.  I have a lot to consider.”

In any given moment, we can tell what we have been committed to by what is in our life right now.  

I’ve always been committed to living in a nice home, even when I rented.  Anyone who has ever been to any of my homes will tell you that they tend to be small, yet they really feel like home.  At the same time, I have often been considering getting another car, but rarely get one until the one I’m driving no longer runs!  At the moment, I drive a 22-year-old car that runs great.

Am I committed to creating home wherever I live?  Absolutely.  And, I do whatever it takes to make that happen.

Commitment, transformation, spiritual growth of committing to creating home. 
My internal, personal commitment: transformation of a house into a home wherever I live. My current home in Denver, Colorado.

Am I considering driving a late-model car?  Sure.  Am I committed to it?  Not at all.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book,”Thriving Work,” copyright 2011.)

I have been considering writing a book since 2002.  I have actually written approximately one third of a book.  

Which does not make a book.  So, working with my own coach Jeff in the first week of this new year, I have now committed to getting the book written and published in 2011.  

Whatever it takes.

I’ve started with a commitment to writing for two hours every day for 40 days.  Today is day six.  You would not believe how well I have organized my office as I procrastinate each day before getting to the two hours of writing!

Is doing whatever it takes easy?  Sometimes it is.  Sometimes it’s ridiculously hard.  And inconvenient.  And messy.  Complete with doubt and fear.  And sometimes with pure grace.  

Regardless, I know I am engaged in a process that calls me to express more of who I am and to serve those I am here to serve.  With you as my witness, I am committed to getting this book into the world in 2011!

Spiritual Clarity: Have You Really Given Up?

Recently I noticed that some of what I most deeply desire, I keep moving toward no matter what.  And, in other areas of my life where I also truly would love something, I say I would love it, yet my behavior indicates I’ve given up.

In my business, I keep moving toward greater ways to serve and offer more value.  No matter what.  I constantly invest my time, money and focus in growing myself and in growing my business.  If something works well, I leverage it.  If something doesn’t work well, I reassess, look for the learning and consciously choose the next leg of my journey.

When I wanted to lose 20 pounds, I started walking regularly and committed to eating less sugar.  That didn’t work for me.  My perceived sugar deprivation backfired and I ate MORE sugar for awhile. I also didn’t lose any weight.  I wasn’t sure what to do next, but I was still committed.  Shortly after that I felt inspired to begin practicing Kundalini yoga.  Eighteen months later I had lost 23 pounds because I had committed to finding the way that would work for me.

Shortly after I got divorced eight years ago, I realized I wanted to meet and marry my fourth and final husband – my soul mate and beloved life partner.  Today, I still have that desire, yet I haven’t invested my time, money or focus and I haven’t done the inner and outer work to bring that desire into reality.

I now see that I hadn’t made the commitment to do whatever it takes to meet my beloved because I hadn’t believed it could happen.  I had given up.  I hadn’t been willing to give up the short-term gratification relationships that work in a couple of areas for the long-term huge gain of the amazing romantic relationship I sometimes glimpse.  In one of the most important aspects of my life, I’d settled for something being better than nothing.

It’s been hard to admit I had given up.  The good news about finally admitting it is that I now have the real opportunity to commit to what I desire with my beloved in the same way I did with my business and my weight.  So, I am taking the first steps . . .

What about you?  In what area of your life is the reality far from what you desire?  When you take a deep breath and then tell yourself the truth, do you believe it’s possible?  No judgment here, just compassionate reflection.

We all have the opportunity to begin again in this very moment.  In what area of your life have you given up?  Would you be willing to
courageously begin again?
Feel free to post your own story in the Comments.

Spiritual Awareness: The Power of Our Words

I hired a new business coach in January, Stephen McGhee, because
I was beyond ready to make some major changes in my business and my life.  And, I had gotten willing to do whatever it took to bring my life more into alignment with what I most deeply desired.  I knew he was the guy to help me make that happen, and I have been thrilled to be bringing great things to fruition just a couple of months into our work together.

In fact, for a few days, I had been saying to anyone who would listen, “I am on fire!  Things are going so great.”  I am no longer saying that after waking up one morning with my throat ablaze.  On fire, really.  Oops!

Then I completely lost my voice for a couple of days.  Gave me some inner reflection time, which is when I made the connection between my fiery enthusiasm and my blazing throat.  I also realized that I needed some time to integrate so many good things happening all at once!

My beautiful dance of life continues to amaze me when I’m willing to take full responsibility for creating everything in my life.  I’d like to think that the next time I need a little integration time, I will plan a few quiet days in the New Mexico desert . . .  It probably won’t make as good a story, but it also won’t be quite as painful or debilitating!

Isn’t life cool?!? (Notice my balancing words!)

So what about you?  What have you been creating in your life with the power of your words?

Our “stories” continue to fascinate me . . .   

Feel free to post a segment of yours here on the blog . . .

Reflection and Intention: The Best of 2009, Creating 2010

I highly recommend using this review and planning tool, created in part by Paul Schadler, MD.  This is the ninth year I’ve used it, and it helps me keep my focus on all that is most meaningful to me.  Give yourself several hours over two or three days to work with it.  Give yourself the gift of being very present, without rushing through it.

The Best of 2009

Go wild!  Acknowledge all your goodness and greatness.
One guideline: no criticism, only positives.

  • What did I accomplish that I am most proud of?
  • What experiences touched me the most? Were the most intimate?
  • When did I have the most fun?
  • What experiences were the most powerful?
  • Most sacred?
  • What difficult challenges did I meet successfully?
  • In meeting the challenges, what did I do best?
  • What lessons did I learn?
  • Describe my power in those situations.

Creating 2010

Think big!  Be bold!  Have fun!

  • What dominant intention do I have for 2010?
  • For my mind/body/spirit?
  • My relationships?
  • My home environment?
  • My work/service?
  • My finances?
  • My growth/development?
  • My fun, adventure, expression?
  • In which areas of my life do I plan to move forward in 2010?
  • What challenges do I intend to overcome?
  • What specific goals do I intend to achieve in 2010?
  • Who do I want to be?  What do I choose to live/express more?

Clear Intention: Change Your Life with “What” and “How”

Imagine the difference in the quality of your life in this same scenario, played out two different ways.  First, the way we tend to to do and second with a clear intention for the outcome we desire.  You’ve had a powerful initial conversation with a potential client and she told you she’ll get back to you by Tuesday to get started.  Tuesday comes and goes and you don’t hear from her.

The “Why” life:
“Why hasn’t she called?”  “Why didn’t I set a specific time with her?”  “Why didn’t I tell her about ________ (you fill in the blank)?” 

The “Why” life leads to making things up, taking things personally, making assumptions, second-guessing ourselves and a whole lotta needless misery.

The “What and How” life:
“Okay, she hasn’t called.  What would I like?  I’d like to get started working with her if that’s what she still would like to do.  Okay, how would I like to proceed?  It feels good to me to give her a couple of days and if I don’t hear from her by Friday, I will call her to check in and let her know I’d like to get started working with her if that’s what she still would like to do.”

The “What and How” life empowers you in knowing what you’d like and in taking action toward bringing that about!  No making things up, taking things personally, making assumptions, second-guessing or needless misery.

Would you like to play with it for a week and see how it shifts your life?  I’d love to hear your experience if you decide to play . . .

Self-improvement: Knowing my security from the inside

Every day for the past several days, I have been noticing anything I feel scared or anxious about and transforming it.  Working with the simple yet powerful concept that I already have everything I need inside me, I notice what’s causing the fear or anxiety and then find a way to know it from the inside rather than expect it from the outside.

I’d love to share a bit of my process so that you can use this transformation tool, too.

For example, in my business, I got scared and anxious when I felt enough money wasn’t coming in.  So, I asked myself:  why do I want the money?  What do I believe the money will give me?  I want the money to pay my bills.  I believe the money will give me security.  Okay, how can I feel, how can I be security right now?  

I don’t have to wait long for the intuitive answer to come to my conscious awareness.  Spending a few minutes laying on the ground, under a tree, being with the sky though the leaves of that tree helps me instantly feel plugged into All That Is and I feel secure.  Wow.  Easy.  Doable.  Highly effective.  Sure beats the alternative of panicking!

An example from my personal life:  I felt sad and scared when it seemed that a friend was “abandoning” me in a moment in favor of another friend.  Okay, why do I want my friend to “choose me?”  What do I believe me being chosen will give me?  I want to be chosen to demonstrate I’m valuable.  When I’m chosen, I feel important.  I feel I matter to that person.  Okay, how can I feel valuable, important and that I matter right now?

A couple of answers come to mind.  I have taken the time to put the focus on me and what’s going on with me.  I am valuing myself, prioritizing myself and indicating to myself that I matter to me!  And, I have many friends.  If I would like to spend time with a friend, I can value that experience for me and reach out to another friend.  Wow.  I know I matter and I feel valuable and important.

My whole life becomes better in two ways when I transform these “yucky” feelings.  First, I get to feel and be what I desire – secure and valuable, no matter what’s going on or what others around me do or don’t do.  Secondly, I am now in the energy of “security” and “valuable,” so I naturally attract more experiences of security and valuable, including more money flowing in and more friends who treat me like I am important to them!

I am so jazzed about this transformation process right now, I am considering teaching a 3-week, 1-hour each week tele-class for $89.

I would love your input.  

What about this tele-class might interest you?  If you took it, what would you most love to take away from it at the end of the 3 weeks?

Please take a moment to comment and give me the thoughts off the top of your head.  Thanks in advance!

Spiritual awareness: I’m capable of so much more than I think . . .

As I am integrating all that I learned from both speaking and exhibiting at the Career Management Alliance annual conference last week, I am struck by how well I did both jobs at essentially the same time.

I’m more introverted than extroverted and incapable of multi-tasking.  So, I actually had no idea how I would do both jobs well, back-to-back for two days. 

I do love to be at the front of the room.  My presentation was short, just 45 minutes.  I looked forward to speaking, but thought I wanted to spend the rest of my day alone in my room or take a self-guided walking tour.

Yet, I had to be at my booth the day before and the rest of the day after my presentation, talking to folks about my coaching services and coaching courses.

Thank goodness I usually sooner or later remember to practice what I preach!  I set an intention to show up fully with each person in front of me by being present, connected and playful.  I even practiced with my seat mates on the airplane on the way to the conference.

I had so darn much fun, thoroughly enjoyed all the people I met, rocked the house with my talk and went out to dinner on the second night with 11 of my new best friends.

Not a bad two-days work for an introverted single-tasker! 

Positive mental attitude – not just a concept (day 3)

While listening to Michael Beckwith this morning, the concept of choosing my reality soaked into my bones a bit more.  He said something like, “Circumstances don’t create our reality, our attitude does.”

This may be the thousandth or ten thousandth time I have heard or read this or some variation of it.  Yet, today I got it that I want to choose my attitude even when it’s more challenging for me. 

I almost always have a fantastic attitude with my work – except if something technological malfunctions, or even hiccups.  Then I am sure my world as I know it is coming to an end.  I almost always have a superb attitude in my personal life – until my sister or my sweetheart says or does something I don’t like, or worse, something I judge.

So, what if I took the opportunity with a technology hiccup to breathe, know that all is well and take a short walk?  What if I focused on the opportunity to learn about that technology or the opportunity to connect with the techno genius helping me?  What if I focused on the opportunity to love even when I don’t like?  What if I examined my judgment of another to see what is crying out for love in me?

What if I consistently and consciously make the choice for freedom, rather than bondage to situations that don’t seem to be going “my way?”

Twenty-five years ago, when I read Victor Frankl’s book, Man’s Search for Meaning, I first came to understand the importance of choosing our focus and thoughts.  If he kept himself alive in a Nazi concentration camp by focusing on hope for the future, surely I can hold a positive mental attitude when my email goes down for a few hours.

I’m now challenging myself to override my initial, knee-jerk reaction to consciously choose a positive mental attitude every time I start to fight something/someone. 

Ah, that may keep me busy for awhile . . .