This past weekend I attended a workshop in which I gave myself two workshops for the price of one! The first workshop was the one I signed up for: A two-day course on understanding men that I attended with my sister, Cathy, and niece, Alisha. The workshop content was life-changing and I loved sharing the experience with Cathy and Alisha.
The second workshop involved my experience of the workshop facilitator. She seemed like a combo dictator and preschool teacher. I don’t respond well to either of that combo. I felt like an angry victim because I was committed to creating a new experience with men from the workshop material and I loved learning with Cathy and Alisha. And, I hated the rigidity and condescending nature of the environment and facilitator.
One of my key growth areas this year involves being a Creator/Owner rather than a victim in every situation. So, here I had created this incredible second workshop – just for me – to practice my learning.
That poignant spiritual growth moment in which I actively choose to rise above my inclination to believe I’m a victim and consciously choose to create whatever I desire . . .
After reflection and debriefing with several of my favorite professionals, I realized that as I took myself out of the role of victim with men, I then transferred that role to the workshop leader.
I was fairly shocked (and then relieved) to see how committed I have been to having a villain in my life. If I hadn’t needed a villain in the workshop room, I’m sure I still would have found the workshop leader’s rules overly rigid and juvenile. I probably would have been annoyed.
Way beyond annoyed, I instead felt traumatized. I had a bit of a meltdown Saturday morning and another Sunday afternoon.
Back to being a Creator/Owner rather than a victim. I signed up for the workshop to learn new ways to create empowering and fulfilling relationships with men. Apparently my second agenda involved becoming viscerally aware that I no longer need a villain – man or woman – as a main character in the story of my one precious life here now!
I continue to ask myself:
– What do I choose to create?
– How can I do that – even here?
– What is going on that feels like victim to me?
– How can I transform that now?