Santa Fe Nature Photos

How to Find Sanity in a Crazy Schedule

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For the past few weeks, my life and work have been far busier than usual. In many ways, it’s felt uncomfortable. And at the same time, I am awed as I notice how much more capacity I have than I believed I had.

Because I tend toward introversion and require space and quiet to recharge, I have often actively avoided filling my schedule. Right now, my schedule seems to have a mind of its own, almost as if my soul has taken the reins from my personality.

To a certain degree, I have surrendered to this new pace. And, I still require that space and quiet. So, I’m learning to experience it in a moment, rather than in an afternoon.

It looks something like this. What if before I rush out the door, I pause, take a few breaths, become present and check in to see what else I need to take or do before I leave? What if as I’m driving in to town, I notice the beauty of New Mexico all around me? What if when I feel like I just can’t do one more thing, I pause, take a few breaths, become present and then do the one more thing?!?

As I drive into town for my next appointment, when I am present to the spaciousness that surrounds me, I feel more spacious - even with a full schedule.
As I drive into town for my next appointment, when I am present to the spaciousness that surrounds me, I feel more spacious – even with a full schedule.

What could be possible with a pause? Anything I desire in a moment.

What could be possible for you with a pause? If you pause, take a few breaths and become present, anything you desire is possible for you, too. What if you pause, take a few breaths, become present and think about that for a moment? What do you desire in this moment?

When we allow ourselves to pause and become present to ourselves, we can create anything we desire. Becoming present in the present moment, gives us the only moment there ever is. Our pause connects us to the Eternal Now. No anxiety about the past. No fear about the future. No feeling crazy.

Only Now.

Which makes the state of my schedule irrelevant. Ah, my soul at work!

How to Elevate Your Thoughts for a Happier Life

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As human beings we have thinking as a distinction from other animals. Most of us clearly understand that our thinking sets us apart. And yet, few of us seem to understand that we have the ability to “think” in two radically different ways.

Most of our thinking is repetitive, regurgitated and anxiety-provoking. Did I lock the house? Why can’t I seem to I get to work on time? My hair looks like hell. What did he mean when he said . . . ? I don’t ever seem to be able to keep track of the money in the account. I don’t want to deal with my mother. I’m sick of . . . When will I get a handle on . . . ? Why can’t I . . . ? How am I doing? There I go again, me with my big mouth. I hate . . . I wish she would . . . Isn’t it ever going to be my turn?
Regurgitated thought.

And then, we have these wonderful, perhaps far too rare, moments of quiet mind. Without the clutter of regurgitated thinking, we suddenly have a brilliant idea. Maybe while taking a shower, hiking through the woods, watching the ocean or playing with the kids or grandkids. Handed to us straight from the Divine. Often eliciting excitement and peace at the same time.
Inspired thought.

My mind tends to settle down and become more spacious when I hang out with the clouds.
My mind tends to settle down and become more spacious when
I hang out with the clouds.

Lest you start to notice regurgitated thinking and start judging yourself for it, simply notice that the judgment is also regurgitated thinking. And smile. Ah, to be human.

Awareness shifts everything. As we become aware of regurgitated thought, it tends to loosen its grip. Awareness helps us refrain from decision-making until our mind quiets. We also naturally tend to move toward more activities that create space for inspired thought.

More spaciousness in our head for inspired thought and less attention on regurgitated thought naturally conspire for a happier life . . .

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

Heart Wide Open

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Happy Gratitude! On the eve of our US holiday of appreciation, I give you this poem from my forthcoming book …

Heart Wide Open

Heart Wide Open

Warm sun.
Deep breath.
Kitty purr.
Coffee gurgle.

Soft eyes.
Beating heart.
Soft heart.
Armor melted.

Open arms.
Embracing all.
Boundaries melting.

Open mind.
Open heart.
Quiet mind.
Quiet heart.

Recognition.
Realizing.
Beyond the beyond.

Heart wide open.
Mind in awe.
Surrendered.
In awe.

No rush to cover.
Or control.
Or contract.
Heart wide open.

Heart wide open.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

What Is the Beauty of the Whole Human Experience?

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Thirty years ago, when I discovered the Power of Positive Thinking and a bit later that My Thoughts Create My Reality, I was thrilled. I felt like I had been given the keys to the kingdom. A simple success formula: think happy thoughts, have a happy life.

Yet, something seemed off and my life often wasn’t happy.

Over the years, I tried many versions of the formula. I wrote positive affirmations, read uplifting books, hired a coach to help me raise my vibration and attended Create Your Best Life webinars and seminars.

While they all seemed like good ideas, I could tell that something still didn’t fit for me. Without knowing what was missing, I moved on.

More accurately, I thought I had moved on. Four years ago, I wrote my first book, Thriving Work. With a subtitle of “A journey to your best self…” I see now that a journey to my best self abandons my “worst” self somewhere along the path.

The book includes 33 affirmative prayers. 27 of them are written from the power-of-positive-thinking perspective, 4 point toward being ourselves fully (all the “good” and “bad”) and 2 directly address including all of ourselves (“All of Me, None of Me” and “From the Fullness of You”).

When I wrote the book, I didn’t sort the prayers that way. I simply wrote what I knew at the time. All of the prayers have been wonderful companions on my life journey. And, they have uplifted and positively impacted many readers.

Only recently, did I come to realize the missing link.

We don’t always control our thinking. And, when we do temporarily manage to control our thinking, we cut off part of our human experience.

I love how Michael Neill describes this. “If we think we are meant to be in charge of what we think, we feel like victims of our own inadequacy, and that if we only tried harder/were more vigilant/had better techniques we would have everything we want and could always be happy and never angry, fearful, or sad.”

What Is the Beauty of the Whole Human Experience

Now that I am beginning to realize thoughts are like clouds, I allow them to be how and what they are, without taking them too seriously. I allow all of them, without trying to make them positive. And I consciously (as best I can in any moment) choose which ones to act on and which ones to allow to pass.

Without needing to control my thoughts, I’m relaxing more. I’m enjoying being human, without so much vigilance. When I notice my thoughts are less than positive, I remember I don’t need to be so concerned with the content of my thoughts.

I’m making less distinction about “good” and “bad.” I’ve spent so much of my life avoiding what I consider “bad,” and it’s been exhausting.

I’m becoming more and more aware that this moment is my life. When I am present in the moment (however “good,” “bad” or in-between), it is somehow wonderful regardless. Now that is the beauty of the whole human experience!

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you“)

The Natural Organizing and Aligning of Life

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I’m on the second day of a 40-day meditation for greater awareness of faith. What struck me this morning: how amazingly precisely things Organize and Align in my life without me doing it.

For example: many people don’t know that I chose my last name, Strong, in 1991. I was getting married for the second time, we wanted to share a last name and I didn’t want to take his. We spent months pondering what to choose. We wanted a name with meaning without calling attention to it. I wanted to be Ann Fortunate because that’s how I felt. And, that would have called too much attention to it. 🙂

When we thought of and chose Strong, I thought it was to help him become stronger. Ah, silly me.

We were together four years, and our marriage was miserable. We divorced and both kept the name. Perhaps one of the karmic reasons we married?

Interestingly, I took the name Strong 10 years before Gallup came out with the StrengthsFinder assessment, something that has been so integral to my work since 2008. People often asked me back then why I didn’t name my business Strong Coaching. “Too hokey,” I said over and over again.

Then a couple of years ago, I asked you, the readers of this ezine and blog, what to re-name the ezine. The clear feedback was Strong Notes. It seemed close to hokey, but I thought it was a good change – temporarily. Until I could come up with something better.

Do you see the Organizing and Aligning pattern here? And I was not only not doing it, I was resisting along the way!

How could our lives be any less Organized and Aligned than the sunflowers and the sun and the clouds?!?
How could our lives be any less Organized and Aligned
than the sunflowers and the sun and the clouds?!?

Fast forward to six months ago, and it became crystal clear to me that my next book would be Strong from Within. I finally surrendered. I renamed the company too. Strong from Within may very well be my life’s work – personally, professionally and literarily.

What I became aware of in my meditation this morning: something greater than me is Organizing and Aligning my life. Then, I had a few blissful minutes of knowing what it feels like to have faith in that!

What about you? What do you notice has Organized and Aligned in your life?

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

Happy Autumn Pictures from New Mexico

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For those of you who have listened to my talk at Celebration a few weeks ago, you know that my primary church is the great outdoors. Right now for me here in New Mexico, it is the Galisteo Basin Preserve. 13,522 acres of open space, 3 miles from my front door. To celebrate autumn, I thought I’d share a bit of my “church” in pictures.

Gorgeous first day of autumn.
Gorgeous first day of autumn.

 

I always feel so alive and peaceful in the serenity<br /> and solitude of this place.
I always feel so alive and peaceful in the serenity and
solitude of this place.

 

The glory of the autumn sunset . . .
The glory of the autumn sunset . . .

 

I would love to know about your “church” and what it means to you . . .

The Dark Side of Know, Like and Trust

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I have been selling all my life.

5-year-old me gathered seeds from my mother’s four o’clock flowers and sold them to the neighbors. During grade school, I sold Current greeting cards to my teachers after school.

As soon as I was old enough, I sold chicken at KFC. In my senior year of high school, I made a bold career move and went to work at Country Kitchen for tiny pay and tips. I doubled my income.

As an adult with adult bills to pay, I decided to get some sales training to maximize my income. I learned that people buy from those they know, like and trust. This was good news to me because it was easy for me to get people to know, like and trust me.

An innocent misunderstanding that guided my career for the next few decades.

I see now that there is a world of difference between people naturally knowing, liking and trusting me and me getting people to know, like and trust me. I was grasping for something that was already mine if only I had relaxed into the knowing that I am enough.

Ah, the joy of being One with an environment that knows no grasping . . .

Ah, the joy of being One with an environment that knows no grasping . . .

My job isn’t about getting anybody to do anything. My true work: being me. Then, a person likes me or doesn’t like me. They are drawn to know me or they aren’t. If they do know and like me, chances are good they will trust me.

When I first realized this, it terrified me. I was going to leave it up to chance? If I didn’t work at getting people to like me, then what if they didn’t? People buy only from those they know, like and trust. What if not enough people liked me?

The irony: people are far more likely to know, like and trust me when I am genuinely me. Whether or not they are conscious of it, people can feel that grasping energy of “I need you to know, like and trust me so that you will buy from me.”

Today, I don’t know if enough people will like me. Which is okay because that isn’t my part. I am doing my part by focusing on knowing, liking and trusting myself and that is way more than enough!

So now, my sales job description has shifted a bit. Without self-consciousness and grasping, I have more capacity to focus on the person in front of me. What’s going on in their world? What do they need? Might I be able to offer them something of value?

That feels good! I didn’t realize how creepy it felt to be selling me. I’m not for sale.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you”)

I would love your thoughts and responses. Post comments and insights below . . .

Savoring the Uniqueness of What Sparks Joy

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Recently I noticed I hadn’t been writing in my Gratitude Journal much. For years, I wrote faithfully every evening 5 or more things for which I felt grateful. I am appreciative by nature, and I wasn’t sure what to make of this.

I decided to let it be without trying to figure it out. Shortly after that, I got excited about writing a few things every evening that had sparked joy for me during the day.

For some reason the distinction of writing a Sparking Joy Journal rather than a Gratitude Journal tickled me. Throughout the day, I love being on the lookout for joy sparkers. I love being surprised.

This from a woman who never used the word joy or liked surprises a few months ago. Go figure. I feel like my life is a treasure hunt. Without any angst about the hunt. There are so many things – big and small – that spark joy for me each day.

A few from today:

  • Hearing the connections my client and her staff were making as they explored their StrengthsFinder strengths together as a team, as a family.
  • The feel of laying on the ground, noticing the Earth holding me.
  • Being interviewed about Strong from Within.
  • Jasmine, my cat, crawling up my chest and putting her paws together in prayer pose right on my heart.
  • The road graders coming to fix the rain damage on our road.

072215_AStrongBlogPost

And, these beautiful wild four o’clocks. Such joy.

Earlier in the summer, I had bought annuals for my big pots on the patio. Between the periodic hail and intense sun, many of the plants are long gone and the ones hanging on don’t look too good.

Today, I noticed the beauty of the four o’clock plants that just sprung up and require nothing of me. I learned they are the wild, high desert version of the four o’clocks I loved as a kid growing up in Denver. They are all around me here. And I just noticed them!

What about you? What have you noticed recently that sparks joy for you? How might you bring more awareness to noticing your joy sparkers?

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for returning to the joy of you“)

I would love your thoughts and responses. Post comments and insights below . . .

Relaxing into Ourselves . . .

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Back in 1997 when I first became a coach, I loved the idea of helping people “make themselves better.”

Today, I see it a bit differently. We each already are so amazing. We don’t need to make ourselves better.

Can you imagine her thinking she were anything less than radiantly beautiful?
Can you imagine her thinking she were anything less than radiantly beautiful?

What I love now: creating the space that allows my clients to recognize and accept their own love and brilliance. I am so tickled when they experience spontaneous episodes of their own Divinity.

I know my work is good when they are kind to themselves. I know my work is good when I am kind to myself. I know we are making great progress when we talk more about relaxing and savoring than about striving and fixing.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within.”)

I would love your thoughts and responses. Post comments and insights below . . .

How Do Your Strengths Influence What You Value about Coaching?

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Coaching since 1997, I have noticed that we all hire coaches to help us create more fulfilling lives. The wonderful and fascinating thing about consciously creating our lives: there are as many ways to do it as there are people on the planet.

Perhaps that’s why we have so many types of coaching – from business to intimacy, from spiritual to success, from health to grief. Over the years, I myself have worked with 14 different coaches. Each for different reasons.

And I have noticed patterns about why people hire coaches based on their strengths.

Strategic Thinkers hire me as a thinking partner and for accountability.

Executing folks either hire me to help them get even more stuff done or to improve their relationships. People who have the Executing strength of Responsibility in their top 5 usually hire me to learn how to (finally) be responsible to themselves first or to deepen their spiritual practice.

Relationship Builders hire me to create a connection and learn more about themselves through our relationship. They love it when I help them see their blind spots.

Influencers hire me to leverage their reach with people. They are often interested in how to move even more people or how to influence them more deeply.

train tracks
What makes your life fulfilling and meaningful?

So, what about you? Do you know your top 5 strengths? What have you noticed has brought you the greatest value from coaching?

(If you don’t know your StrengthsFinder strengths, I highly recommend that you invest $19.99 and 30 – 40 minutes to learn what makes you one-of-a-kind! That’s me at my Influencing best.)

I would love your thoughts and responses. Post comments and insights below . . .