Fear of abandonment.
You leave me.
I leave me.

Why do so many leave me?
Abandoned again.

Will anyone ever stay?

I’m only in charge of me.
So I will stay.

I begin to stay with me.
Whether I feel good or bad.
Whether you stay or don’t.
Whether I feel like it or not.

I stay with me.
And again, I stay with me.
Still, I stay with me.

The more I stay,
the more I’m me.

Living from my own internal compass.
My True North.

Freeing more and more of me to be me.
Freeing the specific Genius of me.
Freeing the specific Godness of me.

When I’m living with abandon, fear of abandonment
no longer haunts me!

Freeing . . .

And then, I hear it.

My secret code word.
Abandon.

Live with abandon.
There all along.

Live with abandon.
Free from self-consciousness.
Free from limitations.
Free from restraint.
Free from concern.
Free from worry.

Living with abandon!

Feel free to post your comments, insights and experiences below.

“Think light and feel light.  Do not think of yourself as a small, compressed, suffering thing.  Think of yourself as graceful and expanding, no matter how unlikely it may seem at the time.”
– From the book Light on Life by B.K.S. Iyenegar

We tend to think that our happiness and success depend on outside circumstances conspiring in our favor.  Instead, a life well-lived greatly depends on the nature of the most important relationship in each of our lives.  Our relationships with ourselves.

The lens through which I see myself creates my world.  Your internal dialog creates your world.  The opinion he holds of himself creates his world.  How she treats herself creates her world.

We came into this world as pure life, pure love, graceful and expanding.  And then, our parents or early caregivers didn’t always give us the love, attention and care we needed and deserved.  And their parents hadn’t given them what they needed and deserved.  Innocent human behavior.  Yet, most of us took this lack of care to mean something was wrong with us.

Then, we went “looking for love in all the wrong places.”  We can look to our lover, spouse, partner or friend for that “missing love” or we can realize that it has never been missing.  We came into this world as pure love.  We remain pure love.

We now have the opportunity to care for ourselves, to love ourselves, to tend ourselves.  And, to drop the idea that anything is wrong with us.  We are pure love.  We can demonstrate that in any moment that we remember.

What would you love to create in your world?

Feel free to post your comments, insights and experiences below.

“When we let our problems sit for a bit, they are as likely to dissolve as be solved — because they only exist as thoughts in our mind.”
–  Michael Neill

I am blessed to live so close to historic Red Rocks Park that I consider it my big backyard.  The park encompasses 640 acres of spectacular, rare beauty with vast views of the Denver metro area.  Whenever I need a new perspective, I go to Red Rocks.  From that perch, I am reminded of the vastness of life and the insignificance of anything I consider a problem.

Awhile back while driving toward Red Rocks, I could see a huge rain storm forming.  When I parked the car, the clouds were so dark and the wind so strong that I decided not to get out.  Instead, I sat in the car and made a phone call. 

The heavy, dark, foggy clouds covered the entire metro area.  I couldn’t even see down the hill much less the expansive view of Denver.  It looked like it was raining heavily in every part of Denver and the suburbs.  But it wasn’t raining on me.  I seemed to be just above the storm.  A few minutes later, I ended my call and looked out over Denver.

The clouds were gone.  The rain was gone.  The wind was gone. In what seemed like an instant, what looked like a huge storm had simply vaporized.  All that was left were a few white wispy clouds far out toward the horizon.

What problem?!?

I actually laughed out loud by myself in the car!  What a dramatic, clear message.  It looked like I had such a big problem.  I decided to wait it out and enjoy a phone conversation with my friend, Ginny, for a few minutes. And then my problem vanished!  Actual and metaphorical . . . ahhhh!

To effortless problem-solving . . .

Feel free to post your comments, insights and experiences below.

Even though Joy and Genius are intrinsic to us, they can seem outside our reach or sometimes non-existent. One of the biggest reasons: preoccupation with our thinking and what we’re thinking.

As human beings we have thinking as a distinction from other animals. Most of us clearly understand that our thinking sets us apart.  And yet, few of us seem to understand that we have the ability to “think” in two radically different ways.

Most of our thinking is repetitive, regurgitated and anxiety-provoking.  Did I lock the house?  Why can’t I seem to I get to work on time?  I’ve got to lose some of this weight.  What did he mean when he said . . . ?  I don’t ever seem to be able to keep track of the money in the account.  I don’t want to deal with my mother.  I’m sick of . . .  When will I get a handle on . . . ?  Why can’t I . . . ?  How am I doing? There I go again, me with my big mouth.  I hate . . .  I wish she would . . .  Isn’t it ever going to be my turn? 

Regurgitated thought.

And then, we have these wonderful, perhaps far too rare, moments of quiet mind.  Without the clutter of regurgitated thinking, we suddenly have a brilliant idea. Maybe while taking a shower, hiking through the woods, watching the ocean or playing with the kids or grandkids.  Handed to us as a treasured gem on a sparkling silver platter, straight from the Divine.  Often eliciting excitement and peace at the same time.

Inspired thought.

Lest you start to notice regurgitated thinking and start judging yourself for it, simply notice that the judgment is also regurgitated thinking. And smile.  Ah, to be human.

Some of my recent thoughts!

Awareness shifts everything.  Simply allow yourself to notice your thinking. What if you didn’t consider thoughts as your identity?  What if you were to consider thoughts like clouds, just passing through and always changing?  What if you didn’t take them seriously unless they inspired you?

To living our Joy and our Genius . . .

Feel free to post your comments, insights, experiences below.

Note: Over the past several months, I have learned experientially that when I set out to teach others to free their own Genius and Godness, I first had to go through a spontaneous, unexpected metamorphosis of my own.  Thus, I have been primarily internal since the early spring, working with my coach and spiritual teachers.

I acknowledge that I did not keep my commitment to send these notes every other week during that time.  I am now, once again, committed to sending them at least every other week.  One of the many things I cleared during this “rebirth” involved a life-long struggle with fear of abandonment.
 
Indeed, we do teach what we most need to learn.

During this sacred time, I have cleared inhibiting, sometimes debilitating, internal mental chatter, which has freed space inside me for peace and joy most of the time.  Regardless of external circumstance!  This is new and miraculous for me.

This time has also clearly shown me the specific nature of my own Genius and Godness and guided me to create my business anew.

I will be teaching a new class in the autumn, both an in-person version here in Denver and a virtual version via conference call.  Stay tuned . . .

For now, I’d love to share with you my Proclamation Prayer that affirms my Essential Nature and my specific Genius and Godness.  May it nudge something deep inside of you . . .

This gorgeous dragonfly was resting on our front door one morning a couple of weeks ago.  I was mesmerized and so happy to receive it’s “medicine.”  The dragonfly represents the end of self-created illusions, allowing clear vision about the reality of life.  It’s iridescence symbolizes unmasking the true self and discovering abilities, thus removing doubts about identity.  I knew I was close to emerging from my cocoon.

The Delicious Feminine Way

Because I exist, I am worthy
of deep love and consistent support.
As an aspect of the Divine,
my thoughts, words and actions align
with my intrinsic value.
Well-being is my essential nature.

Without agenda, I extend myself
and generate connection everywhere I go.
I am open to synchronicity and flow,
finding my people and my people finding me.

I joyfully stand for each of us
showing up in our own Radiance,
freeing our specific aspects
of Genius and Godness.
My people respond to me
with clear knowing and deep appreciation.
Those who don’t, are served elsewhere.

I receive support for bringing everything
in my life to fruition.
Life often delivers in magical ways,
beyond my imagination.

Life beautifully cares for me
in every moment,
working through infinite channels. 
I am guided with every breath.
The wise, eternal part of me
knows how to experience
stability and safety in all situations.
And so I do.

And so I be.
And so it is.

Share your thoughts and comments below.

To deepen your experience on the planet, will you give yourself five precious minutes to read the quote below?
 
Slowly.

Totally present. 

Breathing in the importance to your life and your work.

“There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep yourself open and aware to the urges that motivate you.”
– Martha Graham
American modern dancer and choreographer

To more and more of you!
Ann

Thank you, Brenda BeNew for sharing this beautiful piece!

I had a LinkedIn conversation with JB King yesterday in a StrengthsFinder® discussion group that I would love to share with you.  I had asked about people’s experiences with looking at their own and their clients’ strengths as the composite of their Top 5 strengths rather than looking at each of the Top 5 separately.  JB asked if I had used the 5 Whys to look at my inquiry.

My Top 5 StrengthsFinder® strengths:
Maximizer | Individualization | Connectedness | Strategic | Empathy

“Okay, JB, I’ll play!

I love the 5 Whys and use them alot in my own journaling and with my coaching clients. I hadn’t thought to use them on something like this discussion.

So here goes. Why is this question important to me: ‘How has the combination of 3 or more of your own or another’s top 5 strengths specifically informed?’

1. I have the sense that when we look at the cluster of our strengths, we find something precious, rare and unique. Why is that important to me?

2. It helps me and my clients better know, access and live and work from our specific genius. Why is that important to me?

3. Because I am hungry for and I see many others hungry for a clear understanding of why we each are here on the planet. Why is that important to me?

4. Clear knowing of why I am here and helping others have clear knowing of why they are here powerfully supports each of us in knowing what to commit ourselves to and what not to commit ourselves to. Why is that important to me?

5. With commitment comes miraculous outcomes. Amazing things that won’t happen in the fog or confusion. Why is that important to me? 🙂

6. I love miraculous outcomes! I find them so much more life-affirming, fun and energizing than fog and confusion.

Well that was fantastic. Thank you, JB.”

What’s here for you?  What’s more energizing than fog and confusion?
1. The content above that drills down to my deep Why.
2. The reminder to ask our clients more frequently about their deep Whys.

I leave you with this inquiry: Why is it important for you to grow your coaching business?

To your Thriving Work!
Ann

P.S. Shortly, I am launching a new brand around owning our Genius (which, of course, our StrengthsFinder® strengths are part of that).  I am starting a pilot coaching program: Free Your Genius®. I am looking for three women coaches or consultants who have in their top 5 Connectedness and one or more of Achiever, Activator, Maximizer or Responsibility who might like to become a client in the program.  It would be a great fit for them if they are already doing work they love, yet they’re restless right now to take it to the next level, narrow it down or reinvent themselves in their work.

If you or a woman you know fits this description, please email me at Ann@AnnStrong.com or call me at 303.399.8737.

I started to go to that familiar place.
Thinking I needed to do something to make more money.

Then, I smiled.
Remembering to use that worn-out old thought
As a new reminder to seize the juicy Now.

I am here Now.
How am I called to serve Now?
What am I able to do Now?

What gift do I feel called to give?
What act of service do I feel called to?
What inspiration am I called to share?
What encouragement would I like to offer?
To whom do I feel called to give attention?

I am here Now.
Immersed in the abundance in which I
live, move and experience my being.

I am here Now.
No thinking necessary.

I am here Now.

Serving from the abundance that is me.

I am here Now.

– Ann Strong

Please post your comments below.

Last week we looked at:
1.  Know your “Why,” what you deeply desire for you and your clients.
2. Demonstrate leadership.
 
Note: If you didn’t read Part I, just scroll down.  You will find it below.

This week, let’s look at the final three new mindsets for enrolling clients in a way that feels honorable and energizing.

3. Champion greatness. Acknowledge fear.

A potential client quickly begins to know, like and trust you when you champion their strengths and accomplishments and, at the same time, acknowledge their hesitation and fear.  Doing this without judgment, with compassion for their humanness and with a bit of humor, powerfully connects the two of you.  You demonstrate that you see and hear them and that you aren’t going to step over the fear, but rather coach them through it.
 
Even more important: champion your own greatness and acknowledge your own fear.  Most of us shy away from selling for fear of rejection.  If we look a little deeper, we may find that under fear of rejection lies fear of the other thinking we aren’t good enough. Or, maybe even more likely, we may find that we ourselves fear we aren’t good enough.
 
Work with your own coach and your daily practice to champion your greatness and move through this insidious dream-killer.
 

4.  Commit to serving the client even when you’re uncomfortable.

Often, when you explore the discomfort of where your potential client is now and what has kept them from already getting to where they want to go, you must ask tough questions.  If they stick with the conversation through the tough part, you will experience their commitment to moving beyond their fear.  If you instead back off, downplay, or don’t even ask the tough questions in an effort to be nice, you both miss the opportunity to hear their commitment, to hear an opportunity for coaching or to hear their unwillingness to move forward. You then will have allowed your own fear to diminish your leadership and your service to the potential client.
 

5.  Choose your “Why” as more compelling than your fear.

Work with your own coach to move through your fear of asking tough questions rather than squandering an opportunity with a potential client.  Then, when you meet with your potential client, keep what you want for yourself and for them top of mind.  Focus on your “Why,” allowing it to carry you past your fear. Take a stand for your potential client and for your Why.

When I was 15, I made a plaque for my grandma that read, “We are what we make ourselves.” I don’t remember making the plaque or how I knew that back then.  I am grateful to my grandma for keeping it all these years and putting a date and my name on the back. That plaque now hangs on my office wall as a powerful reminder of my Why.  It also pulls me past my own fear that I’m not good enough to do this work.  I have tangible evidence that I was born to do this work!

Where might you find and claim your own evidence?  Ask that question of yourself repeatedly until you have a solid answer that will serve as your anchor.

Work with your own coach or create a daily practice to transform any old beliefs that you aren’t good enough.  And, claim your evidence that you were born to do this work!
 
Feel free to post your progress in the comments below!

Many coaches tell me they don’t like to sell and don’t want to sell.  Conjuring up an image of the stereotypical used car salesman, it’s easy to understand their distaste.  
 
Yet if we don’t “sell,” we fail the potential client in front of us.  We also marginalize the miraculous value of coaching that moves that client through fear to bringing their Big Dream into reality. And, we diminish our own business, or worse, never get it off the ground.
 
Are you willing to pay such a high price?  
 
Or, would you consider allowing me to guide you in moving through your own fear to five new mindsets about selling that feel honorable and energizing?
  
 
1.  Know your “Why,” what you deeply desire for you and your clients.

One of my client’s commitment involves walking in her own shoes, rather than her mother’s. She’s passionate about telling stories that inspire her clients to walk in their own shoes, rather than their mothers.’  Another teaches diversity and inclusion by sharing her own bias, creating conversation that uncovers her client’s bias and then facilitating awareness to move beyond those barriers.  I came out of the womb passionate about self-employment.  One of my greatest joys involves creating my thriving business and helping my clients create their thriving businesses from the specificity of our own strengths and passions.  
 
What are you committed to, passionate about and deeply desiring for you and your clients? Dig deep until you’re describing something you must do.
 
 
2. Demonstrate leadership.

Leading your potential client flies in the face of typical coach training that tells us, “The client is in charge.  The client sets the agenda.”  Yet for your potential client to know, like and trust you enough to hire you, you must allow them to experience your wisdom and leadership.  
 
In your initial Strategy Session, Coaching Consultation, Sales Conversation, whatever you call it, you must help them paint a vivid picture of where they want to go, experience the discomfort of where they are now and explore what has kept them from already getting to where they want to go.  Then, you must coach them to clarity as to whether they are now committed to going through their fear and making the necessary changes. If you hear that they are ready and committed, then you must uncover and answer whatever they need to know from you, so that both of you feel energized, excited and committed to you coaching them on that journey. Hire professional salesforce consultants to give a workshop session.
 
Stay tuned for Part II with the three remaining new mindsets:
3. Champion greatness. Acknowledge fear.
4.  Commit to serving the client being more important than being “nice.”
5.  Choose your “Why” as more compelling than your fear.

Until then, take some time to get to your deep Why and to organize or re-organize your Gift Session so that you’re demonstrating leadership.

As always, feel free to post your deep Why in the comments section below.