Author Matthew Kelly has written several excellent books with a focus on helping people make choices that move them in the direction of becoming the-best-version-of-themselves.

In his book, “The Seven Levels of Intimacy,” he asks readers to ask themselves each day before putting something new on their schedules, “Is this going to help me become the-best-version-of-myself?” And to also ask each morning, “How can I help my partner become the-best-version-of-himself/herself?”

How would your life transform if you asked yourself those two questions each day?

My personal favorite at the moment is his children’s book, “Why Am I Here?”  I’d love to have this book read over and over to every child on the planet!

How can you help a child today make choices that move them in the direction of becoming the-best-version-of-themselves?

To celebrate Independence Day, my sweetheart, Gary, and I decided to go up one of the foothill trails just outside of Denver at dusk to get the bird’s eye view of fireworks displays across the Denver metro area.

When we got to the trail parking lot, I was surprised to see people set up in the parking lot.  They had clearly decided the parking lot would be their vantage point to see whatever fireworks they could from there.  Since neither of us had been on this particular trail before, we debated if maybe these folks knew something we didn’t.  Should we watch from the parking lot, too?

Both of us felt we wanted to see what we could see from a higher perch.  So, we took a ten-minute hike up the trail and found a ridge that allowed us to see most of the metro area from Boulder in the north to Highlands Ranch in the south. We could see an area probably 50 miles wide and 35 miles across.

The view was incredible.  We saw maybe 20 major fireworks displays and dozens of minor ones.  The view encompassed more than either of us expected. We had a delightful evening.  As we came down the trail, I looked to see what the folks in the parking lot might have been able to see.

What are your “fireworks” if you become willing to get out of the parking lot of life?

I was startled to realize that they could maybe have seen a quarter of what we saw.

Then, I realized how often in life we tend to cut ourselves short that way.  We almost didn’t take a ten-minute hike to have an unparalleled experience.

How often do we not do what it takes to get out of the parking lot of life?  How often do we settle for the parking lot, rather than venture up the trail – even a little way up the trail – to experience what we set out to experience?

In what area of your life might you commit to getting out of the parking lot?  What is your first step up the trail?

Feel free to post your commitments, first steps and insights in the comments section.

What will you do with this one precious summer to make it your best ever?

What’s important to you? Who’s important to you? Fun summer? Meaningful summer? Lovin’ summer?

For the past year and a half, I have been creating my own self-directed PhD program to take greater and greater ownership of my life and business.

I just recently fleshed out a simple, what seems minor, powerful distinction that may really serve you, too.

My coach Jeff, heard me saying to him, “my (you fill in the blank) has changed.”  He asked me how I could take greater ownership of what I had just said.

It took me a minute before I realized that what I had said is weak language, taking little ownership.  WHO changed (you fill in the blank)?  As soon as I realized I am the one who had made the change, I could feel my whole being strengthen and clarify.

This change wasn’t just “happening” to me.  I made a change.  I created my life with that change.

This so powerful to get in our bones because as we truly KNOW that we are changing our lives and businesses, then we can create more change – to whatever we choose.  If we consciously choose it, rather than passively react to whatever comes our way.

To use this distinction in your life and business, simply start by listening to your complaints and choose to create something new in the area of your complaint.  

Are you tired of always being tired?  Choose to create more vitality.  Would you like more clients?  Choose to create more clients?  A different type of client?  Clearly choose who you’d like to work with!  Would you love to be having more fun?  Create fun, be fun.  

Is it that simple?  Yes.  Easy? Maybe, maybe not.  But it does start with taking full ownership to create something better in your world.

Post your own spiritual growth insights in the comments section.

This Saturday, I’ll attend my niece, Alisha’s graduation from UC San Diego.  As I contemplated what I want to give her to help her navigate in the world, these three powerful ways to live bubbled to the top.

Make yourself necessary to somebody.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

We must accept finite disappointment, but we must never lose infinite hope.
– Martin Luther King Jr.

Change your thoughts and you change your world.
– Norman Vincent Peale

I am ever so grateful in this moment that we each make the world a better place in our own ways and from our own gifts, skills, strengths and interests!

One of the most powerful ways to transform our lives involves cultivating a greater awareness of how we make our choices.  We can begin with a practice of asking ourselves a few questions before we choose . . .

– Am I choosing from my infinite, Divine Self or my limited, small self?

– As I choose, which option moves me in the direction of Love, and which option feeds my fear?

Consciously choose to evoke the best of you by choosing from your divinity rather than your small self.

– If I choose from my limited human self, what are the consequences of not choosing from my divinity? (Ask this with as much compassion and as little self-criticism as you can.)

– If I choose the option that comes from lack, limitation and scarcity, am I willing to accept the consequences (ideally without
self-judgment)?

Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Thriving Work: 90 days of daily practice for transforming you and your coaching, consulting or healing business.”  Copyright 2011.

Post your own spiritual growth insights in the comments section.

Phew!  My book went to the layout gal late last night.  I have a new understanding of the phrase, “nose to the grindstone” and very little nose at the moment!  I am happy, dizzy, proud and in desperate need of getting over to the park to lay on the ground and stare at the clouds.

So, before I dash off, I offer you one of my favorite pieces from the book . . .

Doing Only Me

As the sunflower does not
give a thought to behaving like the begonia,
As the grizzly bear never does
what only the salmon can do,
So, I too,
Do only me.

I need not imitate,
I need not strive,
I need not worry or fret.
As long as I follow
My own instincts,
My own knowing,
My own heart,
My own mind,
My own body,
My own Spirit,
My own Divine energy.

I know I am fully me as I feel energized,
I know I am less than me as I feel drained.

I naturally move toward energizing.
I naturally move away from draining.

As the sunflower naturally looks toward the sun
And the begonia naturally thrives in the shade.

As the flowers do not tell themselves
That they “should” be able to thrive in the shade
when they need the sun,
Or try to thrive in the sun
when its rays cause them to wilt,
I, too, allow myself to thrive where I thrive,
Without trying to make myself engage
in that which drains me.  

As the sunflower stands tall, leaning into the sun, so we too must stand tall, leaning into whatever causes us to thrive . . .

As the sunflower does not
give a thought to behaving like the begonia,
As the grizzly bear never does
what only the salmon can do,
So, I too,
Do only me.

Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Thriving Work: 90 days of daily practice for transforming you and your coaching, consulting or healing business.”  Copyright 2011.

Last week, we talked about our many, often competing, voices inside.

Which one of those inner characters do we want running our businesses, or our lives for that matter?  Ideally, our best self.

How do we gain more consistent access to our best self?  Being more aware of what elicits her or him.  And, practice.

For greater awareness: here are some questions to ponder and some practices to put in place.

What environment calls forth my best self?
For many of us, it involves being out in nature in some way and/or being physical in some way.

One of my favorite places that naturally and consistently evokes the best of me. City Park; Denver, Colorado; affectionately known as “my big back yard,” two blocks from my house.

What can I read or listen to that speaks to my best self?
I keep certain books handy and specific songs on constant repeat in my iTunes.  Most of us naturally respond to reading or music that inspires and uplifts us.

What spiritual practices naturally evokes my best self?
Many people automatically access their best self through prayer, meditation, yoga or chanting. Or by listening to or playing spiritual music.  Even for those of us who don’t consider ourselves spiritual or religious, we often respond to quiet time, being in nature, pushing ourselves physically, journaling, playing with our kids or the dog . . .

With whom does your best self almost always want to come out and play?
I can almost always count of on my best self showing up when I’m with one of my best friends or my niece.  One of my clients’ best self shows up with her husband.  Another with her daughter.

What time of day does my best self gravitate toward?
For most people, our best self tends to be more available to us either first thing in the morning or late at night.

To become more aware of who inside you is making a decision, ask yourself as you are making a decision, “what part of me, who, is making this decision?”

Then, before you make important decisions in your business or in your life, take the time to make sure you have consciously chosen to put your best self in charge.

Post your own spiritual growth insights in the comments section.

Last week, we talked about the many faces of resistance.  Right after that I was reminded by a prospective client about the many voices inside who all want to run the show.

When I asked her how she made her important business decisions, she replied, “It depends on the day.” I totally appreciated her honest, human response. 

It took me back to a conversation I had many years ago with a therapist friend.  In that conversation, I realized that my inner 5-year-old was running my business. 

Naturally, things weren’t going as well as I would have liked!  That day, I made a conscious decision to get my wiser adult self in the CEO chair.

Just like resistance has many faces and outfits, we have many, often competing, voices inside.

Some of mine and my clients’ that have been less than helpful in running our businesses:

• The whiny 5-year-old who wants what she wants now, no matter the cost.
• The rebellious teenage who can create chaos in record time.
• The terrified non-believer who is scared to do anything.
• The harden skeptic who doesn’t want to bother because it probably won’t work anyway.
• The prima donna who won’t do anything she doesn’t feel like doing.
• The miser who doesn’t want to spend anything and isn’t interested in talking about investing.
• The angry victim who ruins relationships and blames the other person.

Probably not the best “character” to have running
our business . . .

 
The good news: once we realize that one of these colorful inner characters is making decisions, we can make a decision to put someone else in charge.

So, who do we want running our businesses, or our lives, for that matter?  Ideally, our best self.

NEXT WEEK:
How do we more consistently gain access to our best self?

Post your own spiritual growth insights in the comments section.

Everything you desire awaits you – just beyond your human comfort zone.

To bring your desires into reality, you will have to move through resistance and step out of your comfort zone.  Okay, take a deep breath.  

You can do it. Think about the price of not moving forward.  Would you rather go beyond resistance and feel some discomfort, or live without those new clients, that passive revenue, your published book, that wonderful partner or more radiant health?

If you’re willing to commit to moving through resistance in its many forms and to becoming comfortable with discomfort, you can have everything you desire.

As you’re moving toward whatever you most desire, Resistance will pay you a visit.  Or, more likely, many visits.  Showing up in many brightly-colored, attention-getting costumes.

Resistance will show up to entertain and distract us with many funny faces!  One of Resistance’s favorite strategies involves changing costumes once you are onto the one Resistance is currently wearing!

A few of Resistance’s favorite outfits:
1.  Overwhelm
2.  Perfectionism
3.  Self-doubt
4.  Extreme busy-ness
5.  “Better” ideas
6.  Money problems
7.  Relationship drama
8.  Delaying
9.  Forgetting
10. Taking care of everyone else
11. Confusion
12. Habitual mind-changing

Awareness of Resistance is more than half the battle.  Simply begin to notice when Resistance is attempting to run the show.  Take a deep breath.  Then another.  And continue to move toward what you desire anyway . . .

Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Thriving Work: 90 days of daily practice for transforming you and your small business.”  Copyright 2011.

Post your own spiritual growth insights in the comments section.