in relationship with life

How Can You Be the Light that You Are?

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To be the light that we are, all we need do is release resisting, denying and fighting with ourselves.

From December 22, 2009:

Yesterday, to celebrate the Winter Solstice, I spent time in City Park hanging out near one of my favorite trees and watching (what seemed like) ten thousand geese. A couple of years ago, I “heard” that this particular tree’s name is Grace. which suits her so beautifully. She embodies natural, elegant grace.

How Can You Be the Light that You Are?

Grace and her partner, Slim

As I pondered the gifts of the Solstice, I realized how completely and effortlessly Grace is Grace, the Light that is Grace. As is each of those geese the Light that is each of them. Goose number one: the Light that is Goose number one. Goose number two: the Light that is Goose number two. (I haven’t learned each of their names, yet!)

Without any strain, second-guessing or stress, every tree and every goose in the park is naturally and fully the Light that they are.

So, today, this day after the darkest day in the northern hemisphere, I offer you my deepest wish of this sacred season, given to me by the trees and the geese.

May you pause for a moment now to recognize and fully take in the completely unique Light that you are, a blessing to the world. No need to do anything, no need to be different than you are, no strain, no second-guessing, no stress. Simply breathing into the Light that is you.

“I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing Light of your own Being.”
– Hafiz

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below. Proclaim your true identity here now!

What If There’s Huge Value in Not Reaching Our Goals?

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Two of my clients didn’t reach goals around their health this year. Another didn’t reach his financial goals. I had high hopes for getting my two-year-old cat, Miles, healthy by the end of the year. We aren’t there yet. This may sound strange coming from a coach who makes her living helping clients reach their goals.

So, here’s the thing: When we don’t reach the goals our human ego sets, we have the opportunity to create a deeper, more intimate relationship with ourselves. We become a new person on the way to achieving the human goals. And, we get further in those human areas than if we hadn’t set the goals.

The two clients who have goals around their health are becoming far more self-compassionate, self-loving and their own best friends.

The client with financial goals is learning to give himself credit for being in the process. He’s also learning about his inner security as he works on his outer security.

What If There’s Huge Value in Not Reaching Our Goals?

As for me and Miles, I’ve gotten to experience his unconditional affection, no matter how he feels. I’m learning patience and accepting what is. I’m learning that me being nervous and frustrated affects both of us poorly.

For all of us, we have the opportunity to set new goals, perhaps with a bit more wisdom about ourselves.

So what about you? Are there goals you didn’t reach this year? If so, how might you find the huge value for you?

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

Happy Solstice!

What’s the True Value of Remembering Who We Are?

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Recently, one of my clients thought she didn’t have what it took to change a habit. Another wasn’t sure she had enough entrepreneurial drive to develop a successful business. And another didn’t feel she had support in her life.

The solution for each of them is exactly the same. The solution for any lack that you or I feel is the same. Remembering who we are.

When each of us knows, really knows in our bones, that we are The Entire Ocean in this one unique drop, then we lack nothing. Nothing.

What’s the True Value of Remembering Who We Are?
Ah, to be as clear on who we are as are these magnificent horses.

For the first client, when she owns that she is fortitude and strength and love and Spirit incarnate, then she dissolves that habit. When the second one knows that she is God-driven, then she can do anything. And, when the third one recognizes that she is Support, then she no longer looks for support.

So what about you? What do you tell yourself that you lack? When you become quiet and still and straighten your spine, what do you know about who you are?

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below. Proclaim your true identity here now!

What Is the Value of Experiencing the Air Outside?

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This week, I’m on vacation in California, visiting two of my sisters and their families. Whether I’m at home or visiting somewhere, I love being outside. One of my favorite rituals while staying with my sister Julie involves walking to my favorite coffee shop on the planet, 99 Cups.

They live 6 blocks from the beach and the walk to 99 Cups is about a mile. While walking today, I was particularly aware of how different sea air feels compared to high desert air. And, I love both.

What Is the Value of Experiencing the Air Outside?

Whenever I’m available to notice the natural elements, I become more present, any anxiety melts away and I feel more connected to all life. I’m reminded how healing it is to be outside.

What about you? When were you last outside? Have you noticed all that’s available to you in the crisp, late autumn air, the clouds drifting by or the slight warmth of the sun?

I highly encourage you to get out into nature in whatever way feeds you. Allow the elements to restore, re-calibrate, reawaken, remind and reinvigorate you.

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

 

 

Ah, to the majesty of the
Norfolk Pine on a rare
clear day at the beach.

 

Finally Coming to Know How to Be Grateful for All

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For years, well decades really, I’ve wondered how to be grateful when “bad” things happen. As I become more and more aware that I don’t have a clue what’s “bad” and what’s “good,” it’s slowly dawning on me that this is the doorway.

As I don’t so quickly push away “bad” things, I’m giving myself the opportunity to be with them, to be with everything – “good” and “bad.”

As I allow myself to simply be with things, rather than categorizing and exiling the “bad,” then I’m way more relaxed.

Apparently labeling and banishing has taken a whole lotta energy.

As I’m accepting more and judging less, I breathe deeper and feel grateful for that additional oxygen. With more oxygen circulating throughout me, it occurs to me that anything I refuse to accept literally takes life away from me.

Finally Coming to Know How to Be Grateful for All

As I accept more and more, I have more and more access to life, all life. I get to experience the sweetness in each moment, whether it’s the sweetness of joy, the sweetness of heartbreak or one of the infinite varieties of sweetness.

I am there, in the moment. Fully alive, fully available, fully accepting. Now that’s something to be fully grateful for!

For those of you in the US, Happy Thanksgiving.

For all of us, may we be fully grateful for all of it!

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming stress and overwhelm into clarity and purpose”)

The Magic That Chose Me

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As I feel this spine,
As I feel this heart,
As I feel this mind,
As I feel this Spirit,
I know the magic that chose me.

As I experience this present moment,
As I experience this breath,
I know the magic that chose me.

The Magic That Chose You

As I experience the strength of this spine,
As I experience the love of this heart,
As I experience the clarity of this mind,
As I experience the freedom of this Spirit,
I know the magic that chose me.

As I attend to this magic,
As I allow this magic,
As I accept this magic,
As I give affection to this magic,
As I appreciate this magic,
I embrace the glory known as me.

As I express and express and express this magic,
I give the world this glory known as me.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming stress and overwhelm into clarity and purpose”)

How Have You Forgotten Yourself as the Creator of Life?

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I’ve had many opportunities in the past few weeks to forget that I am the creator of Life. I’ve been working overtime trying to figure out how to resolve, work through, fix, heal or eradicate certain situations.

When I finally turned all of it over to meditation, this is what I heard, “The time of ‘figuring it out’ is over. Do you see that you are not in charge AND you are the creator of Life? ‘In charge’ is about fear of the past and trying to manipulate the future to correct the past.”

“Instead, you know that Life is created in the present. As you are present to Life, you are the creator of Life, you are in relationship with Life, you are receiving Life.”

Well, that was a clear distinction for me! As I understand it, I need to refrain from trying to manipulate what is, but rather to be present to, in relationship with and receive what is.

How Have You Forgotten Yourself as the Creator of Life?
Ah, to be present to, be in relationship with and receive this creation. That’s Life!

How does that make me the creator of Life? I have a strong felt sense of it and I find it hard to articulate it.

Here’s what I’m seeing in this moment. When I try to manipulate, I’m completely missing what I’ve already created. When I’m in relationship with what I’ve created, I’m at peace because I’m not fighting it. When I receive what I’ve created, I experience the beauty, mystery and meaning of the creation.

Even when it’s super uncomfortable and not what I think I wanted.

It’s easy to know I’m the creator of Life when I love what I create. And, I’m finding that the more I am willing to receive what is regardless of my feelings about what is, the more I experience knowing I am the creator of Life.

I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences . . .

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming crisis into clarity and purpose”)

What Helps You Be Super Present?

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Recently a new friend asked me what helps me be present. At first I wasn’t sure how to respond. Then, as I allowed my mind to wander, the floodgate opened.

A cool breeze.  Intimacy.  Awareness of my breath.  The moon.  Gratitude.  A delicious latte.  Reverence. Snow. Deep conversation. Skiing. Meaningful ceremony. Kundalini yoga. Railroad tracks.  Expansive vistas.  The Grand Canyon.

What Helps You Be Super Present?
How could I not be present with these two love beings?!?

My cats.  A long, hot shower.  With my lover.  Dancing.  Music that moves me.  Aaron Neville.  Grief.  Sunrise.  Sunset.  A rushing stream.  The ocean.  Silence.  Tiramisu.  Touch.  Holding space for someone.  Kissing.  A compelling movie.  A shared tender moment.  Sade.  Drumming.  Vulnerability.

Realizing what helps me be present feels so good to me!

What helps you become super present? I’d love to hear from you.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming crisis into clarity and purpose”)