Creating Your Strong Life

What is the Value of Detachment?

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Recently I realized I wanted to be more aware and mindful of detaching. In pondering what might support me in this process, I came up with a few core ideas, reminders.

In case they’re helpful to you, here they are!

I am beginning to recognize that detaching sets me free to love fully, unconditionally and without reservation.

What is the Value of Detachment?

My energy is open, moving and available and at the same time, still, spacious and deeply loving.

I allow EVERYTHING to pass through.

Nothing can stick to me unless I stick to it.

I am right here, right now, loving fully without needing things to be a certain way.

So what about you? What do you notice about yourself and attachment, detachment? Post your experiences below . . .

What Might Life Look Like Beyond Following the Rules

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“The laws of love are not rules, facts, or right answers. The laws of love bring spiritual freedom, the freedom that lies beyond belief, beyond thought, beyond adherence to any authority other than one’s own heart.”

– A Course of Love
Mari Perron, First Receiver

I’ve become increasingly aware that I’ve created many rules for my life because I’ve thought that following the rules would keep me safe.

Creating a new life in a new state, knowing no one when I first moved to New Mexico 2½ years ago has opened my eyes a bit.

A few of my rules for good living before New Mexico:

  • Don’t join groups. They don’t work for you. You are a one-on-one person.
  • Don’t ever buy a brand-new car. It’s a waste of money.
  • Don’t spend more than an hour on a first date. If it doesn’t go well, cut your losses. If it does go well, don’t let him know you like him too much.

Here’s what I’ve noticed since living in New Mexico.

First, it may seem like loosening my grip on my own rules isn’t related to New Mexico. Yet, I know it is because I followed my heart when I moved here.

Then I joined 3 groups: an Entrepreneurial Women’s Group, The Trusted Advisor’s Network and The Celebration church. I met almost all of my closest peeps through these groups.

Then, I started 3 new, smaller groups with 2 of the women I had met through the Trusted Advisor’s Network. A group of 5 women studying A Course of Love, a monthly Women’s Questioning Circle with 6 women and a Mindful Business Accelerator group of 7 women and men.

Sometimes the groups have been super challenging for me. And, I have grown so much! Also, I’ve formed wonderful, deep heart-connections with more people than I had in the past.

As for a new car, well, one day, after buying another used car only 5 months before, I had a new idea. It became okay, even if it was a waste of money, because I wanted to experience driving a new car and not focusing on repairs for awhile.

What Might Life Look Like Beyond Following the Rules
A new car for The Land of Enchantment!

I’ve had my new car for only 4 months and I’ve loved every minute! It hasn’t been earth-shattering. It just feels good to me. And, it feels fantastic to have done something different for myself. I’ll check back with you in a few years on this one.

Ah, those first dates . . . I’ve been on several. One lasted a half hour. Most lasted a couple of hours. The most recent one lasted a half day. All good choices.

What I learned by breaking that rule involved connecting with another human being rather than trying to assess “in” or “out” in record time so as to not “waste” my time.

So, what about you? What rules might you have created? Might you like to experiment with following your heart a bit more?

Tell us about it – post your thoughts and comments below . . .

Full Glory

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“It’s not going to work.”
“I’m not good enough.”

Ah, the dream-killer voice
of my human self.

That’s my cue 
to turn it over 
to the Divine.

Dearest High Glory of All, 
I give you this doubt and fear.

I don’t need to 
try to muscle out of it.


I simply give you 

my perceived limitations



Bobcat
Perhaps this situation calls for my inner bobcat?

and then go about my business,

living my Full Glory of You.

As always, please post your thoughts and comments below . . .

What Is the Right Place to Be Looking for Love?

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“A basket full of bread sits on your head; yet you go from door to door begging for crusts. Attend to your own head. Knock on your heart’s door.”
~ Rumi

No doubt Johnny Lee’s country song “Lookin’ for Love in All the Wrong Places” was inspired by Rumi! Here’s the thing, in his song, he references lookin’ into too many faces. Rumi tells us where to find the right face – directly beneath the basket of bread on our own head.

It’s wonderful to notice love and receive love from our loved ones, from all those around us, from complete strangers . . .

And, sometimes they’re preoccupied in their own worlds. Indeed, sometimes we ourselves are preoccupied and forget to love ourselves.

What Is the Right Place to Be Looking for Love?

May a basket of bread always remind us of all the love in our hearts, overflowing with love for ourselves.

Yet in any moment, with one new breath, we can simply remember the basket of fresh bread on our head and receive the nourishment and love of our own hearts.

As always, please post your thoughts and comments below …

What Can We Rely on When Things Seem Uncertain?

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The change of administration in Washington here in the U.S. has many people feeling uncertain about what the future holds. The truth is that we never know what the future holds. And, times of transition tend to make us hyper-aware of that.

So, what can we rely on?

For some it’s faith and spiritual practice. For others it’s their own internal strengths and gifts.

While I rely on my faith and spiritual practice as well as my internal strengths and gifts, I also rely on my relationship with nature.

Here’s a 3-minute clip from a talk I gave at church this past summer about how nature sustains me.

Nature Shows Me that I Do Belong

I’d love to know what you rely on when faced with uncertainty . . .

How Can We Cultivate Ill-Tended Seeds of Justice for All?

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Sunday is Martin Luther King, Jr’s birthday. His dream involved nonviolence, justice and equality, social and political reform.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr

This year, more than ever, I feel determined to See, Know and Create a world of Love. Despite outward appearances.

Today, it can look like we are so far from that. So, it’s imperative we live his dream.

 How Can We Cultivate Ill-Tended Seeds of Justice for All?

The Martin Luther King, Jr Memorial in Denver, Colorado. The irony of the fog is not lost on me. And still, we must continue to Create a world where his dream becomes a reality for All.

My dream involves activating each and all of us in coming to know that we are Love. And, that we are One. Looking beyond our differences to our shared humanity.

I fiercely hold the vision of this person in front of me loving and valuing themselves, no matter what. And in turn, loving and valuing those around them. Each of us together Creating a world of Love that dissolves any seeming division.

Thank you Martin Luther King, Jr. for planting the seeds of your big dream. It’s now up to us to cultivate those seeds, regardless of how ill-tended they may have been until this moment.

I’d love your comments and insights below.

What If There’s Huge Value in Not Reaching Our Goals?

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Two of my clients didn’t reach goals around their health this year. Another didn’t reach his financial goals. I had high hopes for getting my two-year-old cat, Miles, healthy by the end of the year. We aren’t there yet. This may sound strange coming from a coach who makes her living helping clients reach their goals.

So, here’s the thing: When we don’t reach the goals our human ego sets, we have the opportunity to create a deeper, more intimate relationship with ourselves. We become a new person on the way to achieving the human goals. And, we get further in those human areas than if we hadn’t set the goals.

The two clients who have goals around their health are becoming far more self-compassionate, self-loving and their own best friends.

The client with financial goals is learning to give himself credit for being in the process. He’s also learning about his inner security as he works on his outer security.

What If There’s Huge Value in Not Reaching Our Goals?

As for me and Miles, I’ve gotten to experience his unconditional affection, no matter how he feels. I’m learning patience and accepting what is. I’m learning that me being nervous and frustrated affects both of us poorly.

For all of us, we have the opportunity to set new goals, perhaps with a bit more wisdom about ourselves.

So what about you? Are there goals you didn’t reach this year? If so, how might you find the huge value for you?

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

Happy Solstice!

What’s the True Value of Remembering Who We Are?

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Recently, one of my clients thought she didn’t have what it took to change a habit. Another wasn’t sure she had enough entrepreneurial drive to develop a successful business. And another didn’t feel she had support in her life.

The solution for each of them is exactly the same. The solution for any lack that you or I feel is the same. Remembering who we are.

When each of us knows, really knows in our bones, that we are The Entire Ocean in this one unique drop, then we lack nothing. Nothing.

What’s the True Value of Remembering Who We Are?
Ah, to be as clear on who we are as are these magnificent horses.

For the first client, when she owns that she is fortitude and strength and love and Spirit incarnate, then she dissolves that habit. When the second one knows that she is God-driven, then she can do anything. And, when the third one recognizes that she is Support, then she no longer looks for support.

So what about you? What do you tell yourself that you lack? When you become quiet and still and straighten your spine, what do you know about who you are?

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below. Proclaim your true identity here now!

How Do We Stop Election Fear from Within?

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One of my mentors, Dicken Bettinger, posted thoughts on Facebook worth repeating here today.

“The real question is not what will happen as a result of this election.

Politicians do not determine the overall level of well-being of those who live in their country.

To me, the real questions are:

  • Can we look within and set aside our judgmental thoughts of others?
  • Can we find love and understanding in our hearts?
  • Can we bring these feelings to each other, especially those who disagree with us?
  • Can we find tolerance deep in our souls, especially for those who see life differently than we do?
  • Can we find within us the spirit of cooperation that is based on tolerance and respect so that we can truly work together to create a society that is looking out for what is best for the whole rather than just our own self-interests?

How Do We Stop Election Fear from Within?

The problems of the world ultimately will not be resolved on a political level. The problems of the world will ultimately be resolved only by each of us bringing more love and understanding into the world.

May we all get better at listening for, and to, the inner wisdom that continues to guide us toward a more peaceful and loving world community.”

– Dicken Bettinger, originally published on Facebook

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

What If We Love the Beautiful and the Mess?

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A few weeks ago, after working with a client, I was reflecting on the messiness of being human. The piece below came forth. Yesterday, I was agitated about the messiness of my own life and thought it might be good to share this piece!

What If We Love the Beautiful and the Mess?

So, I’m not getting my work done as fast as I’d like . . . Do I really want to overlook the pure joy in this “annoyance?”


All of It

Without perfection,
there’s presence.

Without criticism,
expression.

Without procrastination,
progress.

Attempting perfection
brings completion.

Hearing criticism,
compassion.

Procrastinating,
a bit of movement.

Breathing in,
Breathing out,
completing the circle
of being alive.

As always, I’d love your thoughts and comments below.

(Excerpted from my forthcoming book, “Strong from Within: Simple perceptions and practices for transforming stress and overwhelm into clarity and purpose”)