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“Today I blatantly and boldly care.”
“Today I bridge needless divides.”
“Today I sincerely desire blessings for others.”
“Today I enjoy inspired sharing.”
– Dr. Roger Teel, Spiritual Leader of Mile Hi Church

I’ve gotten away from using affirmations because in the past they have often felt trite or downright untrue.  Yesterday, in church, I became re-inspired by the power of an affirmation as a compass.

I feel excited to blatantly and boldly care!  I’m tickled when I notice an opportunity to bridge a needless divide.  I love to remember that I do sincerely desire blessings for others.  And, I was born to delight in inspired sharing!

Thank you, Dr. Roger, for highlighting these opportunities to celebrate our connectedness!

“The rest of creation is waiting, breathless,
for you to take your place.”
– David Whyte

2010 has been my year of “taking my place.”  Yet, I didn’t know that until late in the year, in November 2010.

Usually, around the Winter Solstice of the preceding year, I listen for guidance about my intention/theme for the upcoming year.  I did not receive one last year for 2010, even though I sat, listening on several occasions.

So, I let it go.

And, I hired a new coach to help me take my business to the next level.  I knew that I would grow in the process – of course my business growth would directly correlate to my personal growth.

And, I now know why I never received a theme for this year.  Both my personal growth and business growth has called forth more of the fullness of me in every way – more of my devotion, fierceness, lightness, love, courage, humility, discipline, detachment, playfulness, surrender, tenderness . . .  I have grown spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically.

While I probably won’t be climbing a rock wall this lifetime, this year I have sometimes felt like I had, indeed, made it to the top!

Some of the year, I have felt like a fumbling beginner, taking my first awkward steps.  Sometimes, I’ve felt as though I were scaling a sheer wall, without training.  At other times, I’ve felt sure I could leap tall buildings in a single bound . . .

Even with my awkwardness, I have a clarity, knowing and strength about who I am that I have never had before.  I am expressing myself more fully every day, often astonishing those who have known me a long time and sometimes even myself!

And, I am just beginning to sense the absolute freedom and joy in letting go of pretending, worrying, pleasing, resentment,
judgment . . .

Wow!

“Please tell me how I can love you better.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh

Recently I chose to dive into the invitation issued by Vietnamese Zen master, Thich Nhat Hanh, to ask my loved ones the question, “How can I love you better?”  I received my first answer from my niece, Alisha, and began to earnestly pay attention to what she had requested. I noticed how, if and when I could do it, and also, under what circumstances I felt I couldn’t.  I loved having the focus of a specific act that felt good to her and that I could offer her.

It tickles me to visually record the death and rebirth in my neighborhood – part of my spiritual growth of loving me better!

And, then I realized I had started looking outward prematurely.  Just as it is on a plane, it’s best for me to put my oxygen mask on first and then help Alisha or anyone else who needs help, it is also best to ask myself ( and answer) the question first.

So, I have begun asking myself each day, “Ann, how can I love you better today?”  I have been surprised and delighted by the variety of answers.  

“Refrain from a certain automatic response with one of my more challenging friends.” “Take a longer walk today.” “Play my new music.” “Get out in the sun.”  “Take some pictures.”

And, of course, as I fill my own cup a bit more, then I have more love to give!  What a fun easy way to fill my cup a bit more each day, “Ann, how can I love you better today?”  Ask. Listen.  Take the loving action.

And, then go ask someone else, “How can I love you better?” Ask. Listen.  Take the loving action.

Repeat as needed . . .

The desire for stability and security seems to be in the air right now.  Maybe it’s the time in history, the time of the year and the time in the election cycle all culminating in the energy of “dear God, please give me some certainty.”

For me it shows up in desiring that from my sweetheart, for one of my clients it shows up in seeking it from her business, for another client it looks like her measure of how she’s doing as a mother and for a friend it shows up in asking for security and stability from her job.

The tough thing about looking for our security and stability from another person or situation outside ourselves: we can’t control anyone or anything outside of ourselves.

I am in charge of my security and stability regardless of what my sweetheart, my clients, my friends, my family, the economy or the weather is doing!  That’s the good news and the bad news!

While it’s not always easy, it is worth every moment of practice to come to know that in every cell of my being.  As I turn to my Source, my God, my inner knowing, Love, the Universe and affirm “I AM stability, I AM security,” that’s something I can take to the bank.

Spiritual growth: As I my know my God, know my Source, then I know I am stability, I am security . . .

When I feel I must have someone else do or not do, be or not be something before I can feel stable and secure, then I am in a precarious position.  As soon as I notice that I am looking outside for my good, for my stability, for my security, I use that moment.

I take a deep breath, turn within, acknowledge God as my Source and affirm that I am Love, I am stability, I am security.  What a fantastic practice . . .

Stop scurrying
from one place
to the next, to the next, to the next.

And be.
Be yourself.
Be the center of yourself.
Be yourself.

Know who you are.
Know that is enough.
Way more than enough.

Know what you require.
Call that to you.
Call that from within you.

As you require one thousand things,
call one thousand things.
And allow one thousand things
to come to you,
from within you.

Wait.
Wait patiently.

As you are waiting,
notice one thousand things
in front of you.
Notice the gift
of one thousand things.

As you are waiting,
notice the gift
of the absence
of one thousand things.

And be.
Be yourself.
Be the center of yourself.
Be yourself.

When we commit to an area of personal growth, we create the opportunity to transform not only ourselves, but also our personal and professional relationships.

I know my own energy, my own aliveness as I am
willing to see the simple truth of a situation, rather
than adding all the drama of my own storm clouds . . .

Last January, I committed to doing whatever personal work was required of me to become a more fiercely loving and lovingly fierce person and coach.  I made that commitment because I had the sense that the combination of fierce and loving would best support me and my clients (and anyone else who was right in front of me) in consistently becoming more of the best of who we are.

Wow, has that proven true!  And, I have come to learn that to be both fierce and loving, I’ve needed to develop some other qualities.  Right now, I’m most focused on acceptance.  Accepting instead of judging.

In the past, I’ve had a tendency to make tough situations worse by judging me and judging the other person.  Now, if I notice even a tinge of judgment, I immediately step back.  I then take a moment to get crystal-clear about what is, without any judgment.

What is?  Maybe a client is upset with something I said.  Maybe my sweetheart said something I don’t like.  Maybe my best friend isn’t available to talk with me right now.

Okay, without any judgment, the truth about these situations:

• My client is upset in this moment.
• My sweetheart said something I don’t like.
• My best friend isn’t available to talk right now.

If I add judgment, I get something like:

• My client is upset in this moment.  Can’t she be more mature and take some responsibility?  Why do I have to deal with this?
• My sweetheart said something I don’t like.  He doesn’t care about me.  I shouldn’t put up with this.
• My best friend isn’t available to talk right now.  She’s never available.  I should want more for myself and get a new best friend.

If, instead, I look at what is and add acceptance, I am not only not drained by my judgments, but I also have the capacity to allow what is and to accept myself and the other person exactly as we each are in that moment.  Then, something truly astonishing happens: I am no longer drained by this person, this situation.  Instead, I am energized by my ability and willingness to choose and to be acceptance instead of judgment.

No matter who or how the other person is, I am who I choose to be.  I am acceptance.

And, this is where it gets really good!  With acceptance and as acceptance, I am now available to be fiercely loving and lovingly fierce.

Even as I write this, I sense the opportunity in more conscious relationship and I feel more alive, more energized, more fiercely and lovingly available to me, to my client, to my sweetheart, to my best friend and to you as you read this!

“Stop trying to get what you want from life and start bringing what you want TO it.
When I bring what I want to life, I experience what I want in life. No more waiting. No more hoping to be more alive. I choose to be it in the moment.”
– Jeff Patterson

I have been aware for awhile now, that to meet the man I would most love to spend the rest of my life with, I would first have to be that person.  It’s no accident that I hired Jeff Patterson as my coach a few months ago!  What a joy and what a challenge to constantly clarify and refine what’s most important to me – in me as a person and then in those with whom I am closest.

With my man, with my clients, with my friends and loved ones: what experiences do I most feel called to share?

Acceptance, connection, love and expression with some lightness and humor. And, truly seeing and hearing.

That poignant conscious relationship moment in which I
realize that all in my world may just be a reflection of me . . .

I am so happy to be involved in a new romantic relationship with a man who meets me in every one of those ways!  And, recently, I realized that I had not been meeting him as well in the hearing department.  He had told me something several times on several occasions that I had not allowed myself to hear.

I so badly had wanted him to feel differently more that I truly had wanted to hear how he does feel.  And, in the moment of realizing that, I immediately did hear what he’s been trying to tell me.  Because, as scary as it is to hear him, my devotion to truly hearing outweighs the fear.  In my humanness of wanting to hear what I wanted to hear, rather than what he was actually saying, it did take me awhile, but I do now hear.

I guess that’s what devotion is all about: setting a course, noticing when I’ve veered off and then bringing my attention back to what I am devoted to – in this case, really hearing another person.

So how about you?  What are you devoted to bringing to life?

I once read that our personal financial situation is a reflection of the personal financial situation of the five people to whom we are the closest.  I don’t know if that’s true for everyone.  It has tended to be true for me.  And, I’ve noticed it to be true in other areas of my life as well – the people with whom I spend the most time have a huge impact on all areas of my life.

Me with two of my five closest people. On the left: my niece, Alisha. On the right: my sister and Alisha’s mother, Cathy.

Is that true for you, as well?

If so, it follows that it would serve us to have clarity about who we allow into our inner circle.  How does this person influence me day to day?

If we notice a particular person not only doesn’t add to our lives, but actually tends to drain us, how can we be more proactive about shifting the nature of our interaction or moving them out of our inner circle?

And, if a particular person tends to enrich us and our lives and we tend to enrich them and theirs, how can we deeply nurture and nourish that relationship?

The overall quality and nature of our closest relationships dramatically influences the overall quality of our lives and our businesses.  What one thing could you do today to better serve one of your primary relationships?  

Most coaches are making little or no money.

Because they are far too polite.

Busy trying to please potential clients, they fail to serve them.

All the while, potential clients are hungry for the truth.  Will they like it when they first hear it?  Most won’t.  Some may even get mad.

And, that’s one of the reasons most coaches are too polite.  They don’t want a bunch of potential clients mad at them.

What they fail to realize: the anger is temporary.  And, it certainly isn’t personal.  It often gives way to relief that someone has finally said out loud what the potential client sort of knew, but was afraid to admit.  Then, they become curious about what else the coach knows about their situation.

And, then, a truly amazing thing happens.  That coach signs up a new client.

And, helps the client bring a dream into reality that they haven’t before been able to achieve because no one would help them get real and get past their self-consciousness and self-delusion.

If you are willing to learn this skill of serving rather than pleasing, you will be one of the few coaches helping more people and making way more money!

“This instant we have everything we need, and within this instant we have everything. We can therefore trust what happens because there will never be a time when it will not be now.”
– Hugh Prather

Take a deep breath.  Can you, in this very moment, take in the fact that you do have all that you need?

What does it feel like to relax into trusting that all is well? Truly.  
Take seven deep breaths.  Feel your entire being relax into the coolness of the air, beat of the music, softness of the chair cushion, hint of autumn in the air, whir of the fan . . .

Spiritual growth: Can you catch a glimmer of the priceless gift this moment has to offer?