Stop scurrying
from one place
to the next, to the next, to the next.

And be.
Be yourself.
Be the center of yourself.
Be yourself.

Know who you are.
Know that is enough.
Way more than enough.

Know what you require.
Call that to you.
Call that from within you.

As you require one thousand things,
call one thousand things.
And allow one thousand things
to come to you,
from within you.

Wait.
Wait patiently.

As you are waiting,
notice one thousand things
in front of you.
Notice the gift
of one thousand things.

As you are waiting,
notice the gift
of the absence
of one thousand things.

And be.
Be yourself.
Be the center of yourself.
Be yourself.

When we commit to an area of personal growth, we create the opportunity to transform not only ourselves, but also our personal and professional relationships.

I know my own energy, my own aliveness as I am
willing to see the simple truth of a situation, rather
than adding all the drama of my own storm clouds . . .

Last January, I committed to doing whatever personal work was required of me to become a more fiercely loving and lovingly fierce person and coach.  I made that commitment because I had the sense that the combination of fierce and loving would best support me and my clients (and anyone else who was right in front of me) in consistently becoming more of the best of who we are.

Wow, has that proven true!  And, I have come to learn that to be both fierce and loving, I’ve needed to develop some other qualities.  Right now, I’m most focused on acceptance.  Accepting instead of judging.

In the past, I’ve had a tendency to make tough situations worse by judging me and judging the other person.  Now, if I notice even a tinge of judgment, I immediately step back.  I then take a moment to get crystal-clear about what is, without any judgment.

What is?  Maybe a client is upset with something I said.  Maybe my sweetheart said something I don’t like.  Maybe my best friend isn’t available to talk with me right now.

Okay, without any judgment, the truth about these situations:

• My client is upset in this moment.
• My sweetheart said something I don’t like.
• My best friend isn’t available to talk right now.

If I add judgment, I get something like:

• My client is upset in this moment.  Can’t she be more mature and take some responsibility?  Why do I have to deal with this?
• My sweetheart said something I don’t like.  He doesn’t care about me.  I shouldn’t put up with this.
• My best friend isn’t available to talk right now.  She’s never available.  I should want more for myself and get a new best friend.

If, instead, I look at what is and add acceptance, I am not only not drained by my judgments, but I also have the capacity to allow what is and to accept myself and the other person exactly as we each are in that moment.  Then, something truly astonishing happens: I am no longer drained by this person, this situation.  Instead, I am energized by my ability and willingness to choose and to be acceptance instead of judgment.

No matter who or how the other person is, I am who I choose to be.  I am acceptance.

And, this is where it gets really good!  With acceptance and as acceptance, I am now available to be fiercely loving and lovingly fierce.

Even as I write this, I sense the opportunity in more conscious relationship and I feel more alive, more energized, more fiercely and lovingly available to me, to my client, to my sweetheart, to my best friend and to you as you read this!

“Stop trying to get what you want from life and start bringing what you want TO it.
When I bring what I want to life, I experience what I want in life. No more waiting. No more hoping to be more alive. I choose to be it in the moment.”
– Jeff Patterson

I have been aware for awhile now, that to meet the man I would most love to spend the rest of my life with, I would first have to be that person.  It’s no accident that I hired Jeff Patterson as my coach a few months ago!  What a joy and what a challenge to constantly clarify and refine what’s most important to me – in me as a person and then in those with whom I am closest.

With my man, with my clients, with my friends and loved ones: what experiences do I most feel called to share?

Acceptance, connection, love and expression with some lightness and humor. And, truly seeing and hearing.

That poignant conscious relationship moment in which I
realize that all in my world may just be a reflection of me . . .

I am so happy to be involved in a new romantic relationship with a man who meets me in every one of those ways!  And, recently, I realized that I had not been meeting him as well in the hearing department.  He had told me something several times on several occasions that I had not allowed myself to hear.

I so badly had wanted him to feel differently more that I truly had wanted to hear how he does feel.  And, in the moment of realizing that, I immediately did hear what he’s been trying to tell me.  Because, as scary as it is to hear him, my devotion to truly hearing outweighs the fear.  In my humanness of wanting to hear what I wanted to hear, rather than what he was actually saying, it did take me awhile, but I do now hear.

I guess that’s what devotion is all about: setting a course, noticing when I’ve veered off and then bringing my attention back to what I am devoted to – in this case, really hearing another person.

So how about you?  What are you devoted to bringing to life?

I once read that our personal financial situation is a reflection of the personal financial situation of the five people to whom we are the closest.  I don’t know if that’s true for everyone.  It has tended to be true for me.  And, I’ve noticed it to be true in other areas of my life as well – the people with whom I spend the most time have a huge impact on all areas of my life.

Me with two of my five closest people. On the left: my niece, Alisha. On the right: my sister and Alisha’s mother, Cathy.

Is that true for you, as well?

If so, it follows that it would serve us to have clarity about who we allow into our inner circle.  How does this person influence me day to day?

If we notice a particular person not only doesn’t add to our lives, but actually tends to drain us, how can we be more proactive about shifting the nature of our interaction or moving them out of our inner circle?

And, if a particular person tends to enrich us and our lives and we tend to enrich them and theirs, how can we deeply nurture and nourish that relationship?

The overall quality and nature of our closest relationships dramatically influences the overall quality of our lives and our businesses.  What one thing could you do today to better serve one of your primary relationships?  

Most coaches are making little or no money.

Because they are far too polite.

Busy trying to please potential clients, they fail to serve them.

All the while, potential clients are hungry for the truth.  Will they like it when they first hear it?  Most won’t.  Some may even get mad.

And, that’s one of the reasons most coaches are too polite.  They don’t want a bunch of potential clients mad at them.

What they fail to realize: the anger is temporary.  And, it certainly isn’t personal.  It often gives way to relief that someone has finally said out loud what the potential client sort of knew, but was afraid to admit.  Then, they become curious about what else the coach knows about their situation.

And, then, a truly amazing thing happens.  That coach signs up a new client.

And, helps the client bring a dream into reality that they haven’t before been able to achieve because no one would help them get real and get past their self-consciousness and self-delusion.

If you are willing to learn this skill of serving rather than pleasing, you will be one of the few coaches helping more people and making way more money!

“This instant we have everything we need, and within this instant we have everything. We can therefore trust what happens because there will never be a time when it will not be now.”
– Hugh Prather

Take a deep breath.  Can you, in this very moment, take in the fact that you do have all that you need?

What does it feel like to relax into trusting that all is well? Truly.  
Take seven deep breaths.  Feel your entire being relax into the coolness of the air, beat of the music, softness of the chair cushion, hint of autumn in the air, whir of the fan . . .

Spiritual growth: Can you catch a glimmer of the priceless gift this moment has to offer?

Are you worth $10/hour or a 10 million dollar net worth?

This inquiry makes no sense.

It’s like asking if a sunflower is worthy of sun to help it grow and thrive.

How much sun?  How hot?  How many days of the week?  Which days?  More or less than neighboring sunflowers?  Are you kidding?!?

Your coaching business: lessons from a sunflower!

If you’d like to enroll more clients, more consistently, then drop this connection between your fee and your worth.  Now.

Commit in this moment to knowing your intrinsic value and priceless worth.  

Commit to doing the numbers for your business to set your fee.  Make your fee an investment that calls your client to commit to themselves.

If you’d like support in living your commitment, we are calling a few courageous coaches to joining us in the small-group Thriving Coaches, Client Enrollment Immersion Program.

All the details and to apply . . .

Choose:
To select from a number of possibilities.

Commit:
To promise or engage oneself.

Consecrate:
To declare sacred.

We create our own lives when we choose, commit and consecrate, no longer the victim of whatever or whomever comes our way.

My 18-year-old nephew, Jared, is staying with me for awhile as he gets started in his first job.  When he isn’t working, or sleeping, he’s writing rap lyrics.  For hours every day.

One page, from one of many notebooks.  The words flow, without a single hesitation or cross-out.

He could be playing basketball, running the streets, playing video games, attending college, chasing girls or choosing from all the possibilities presented to a high school graduate.  He’s chosen to write rap lyrics.  Page after page, notebook after notebook.

He engages himself every day.  He is committed and devoted.

He has declared this work sacred.  He is mowing lawns to earn the money to buy recording equipment.

Before he came to stay with me in Colorado, he lived in southern California with his parents, where he grew up.  When I visited, he seemed a bit aimless.  Watching him today, I am humbled by his creator/owner mindset.  He is charting his course and working toward his dream every day.

What about you?

In what area of your life, are you feeling called to choose, commit and consecrate?

I’ve spent a fair amount of my life angry at or disappointed by other people.  When I read in Greg Baer’s book, “Real Love,” that both anger and disappointment indicate a lack of real love – unconditional love – I got mad at him and put the book down, none too gently!  Mad because I knew it was true.  And, mad at myself because I live so far from unconditional love so much of the time.

Thank goodness I’m a pragmatist.  One day it dawned on me that being mad at someone else and being mad at myself don’t give me the life I desire.  

Even when I don’t love as fully as I would like, how does loving even less – being mad – help me love more, live more?

What if I quit blaming?  What if I practice acceptance and compassion when I feel disappointed by others?  What if I notice that feeling disappointed by others always indicates disappointment with myself?  What if I then remind myself that I am devoted to a life of love, freedom, generosity, expression, acceptance, compassion and joy?

I am reminded of a line from “A Course in Miracles,” “everything is love or a cry for love.”  What if, moment by moment, day by day, I use any anger or disappointment as a reminder to do what works?  Choose love instead.

How about you?  Care to join me? 

Simple.  Not always easy.  With the pause of a deep breath, possible.

Post your own reflections, comments or spiritual
growth progress in the comments . . .

Steve Chandler writes extensively on the distinction between victim and owner.  Recently, within a few days, I gave myself the opportunity to look in this mirror several times!  I noticed myself behaving as a victim when I thought, “nothing can be done.”  I felt myself take ownership when I began to create a possible new way.

How often do we hear victim language:
“I can’t because . . .
. . . of the economy.”
. . . he/she wouldn’t like it.”
. . . I don’t have the money.”
. . . I’m not sure of my schedule.”

Victim language and mindset is the norm.  Most people live from the victim mindset without even realizing it.

Perhaps 5 to 10% of people consistently live from the Creator/Owner mindset.  Which explains why far less often do we hear:
“I’d love to, you can count on me because . . .
. . . people need my services more than ever in this economy.”
. . . I’m excited about this project and I’m committed
to making it happen.”
. . . I will get resourceful and find/create the money.”
. . . I will make the time.  You can count on me.”

The newest addition to our family, Jasmine, teaches me every day about being the creator of her life!  My spiritual growth involves allowing her to choose the great outdoors most of the time – even when I notice she rarely looks both ways before crossing the street!

My life and business are getting better every day as I continue to expand my awareness around the times I’m still living from a victim mindset and I make the shift to Creator/Owner right in that moment.  I recently realized that judging myself when I notice myself speaking or acting as a victim is a subtle way to stay in victim!  When I am in Creator/Owner mindset, I am compassionate and accepting of what is, even as I am “upgrading” what is!  

How would your life and business radically shift if you made a commitment to yourself right now to step fully, with both feet, into the shoes of the powerful Creator/Owner that you truly are?